I like the idea of werewolves out to finish the job Greyback started with Bill and Dominique caught in the crossfire. If you have her living a Remus-type existence at Hogwarts, hiding her condition from people, escorted to the shack, I think there's a lot of potential for angst and drama, both in her family and personal relationships.
I'm not sure if that's why the werewolves were there on the beach, though, because that wasn't explained. If you'd opened the story with Dominique going to the cliff even though her parents have forbidden it because she doesn't believe Dark werewolves who want to hurt her dad can find them there, that would have raised a story question and explained why the werewolves happened to be on a beach in Cornwall. Grimmauld is referred to as the safe house, which implies the family was aware of danger.
It felt like a lot of time passed from the moment Dominique ran back to the cottage to when the children Flooed to Grimmauld Place. The cottage is small enough where it would have been believable for family members in different rooms to hear the door slam and come in to find out why.
The action scene had a great pace and sense of dawning horror as Dominique paid the price for returning to Shell Cottage. I'm not sure I believe a ten year old has seen or read enough to have "horrible visions of what was to come," but the knowledge that her life has changed making it feel like a nightmare felt spot-on, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: First off, thank you for reviewing it means a lot, second, the question of why the werewolves were on the beach in the first place will be answered in another story I am hoping to add later on. Lastly I am so glad someone caught the Grimmauld Place as the safe house thing. Basicly the story was that after the second war several Death Eaters were still on the loose. I'd envisioned Harry as being slightly paranoid after Voldemort, so I thought that after he married Ginny they would move out of Number 12, then Harry dubbed Grimmauld as the safe house should any more trouble arise. I also thought that Harry would pressure the rest of the family to use the safe house too if needed. Please write back if you have any questions. Keep reviewing.
Woah! Never thought of Dominique becoming a werewolf! Intriging
Author's Response: Thank you. I'd never thought of it before either until the idea came. Thank you for reviewing.
Wow! I'm speechless! That was very good, I'm excited to read more! Great Job, Keep it up!! :)
Author's Response: That makes me feel happy. Thank you for reviewing.
Well written, not enjoyable (but then, you didn't expect it to be). I can't wait for more chapters, I've never thought about this before.....very inspiring. Thanks for writing. =)
Author's Response: Thank you for writing. That part about it being inspiring just made my day. Thank you!
