Really should proofread my review first.
I meant to say victim was stabbed with an ice sword.
Author's Response: haha lol. that's okay. I really didn't know about this story, so no plagiarism was intended :)
not bad for a first story. good plot and motive.
I had no clue about the affair until Rufflesius brought it up. However I did suspect the wife, (mainly because I guessed how) but not her motive.
Author's Response: Thank you! This is not my first story, though; only the first chaptered story I've finished. :)
I had figured the how of the murder, mainly because I had read a short story a while back that had this same plot. In the short story the victum was stabbed with an sword.
Author's Response: Lol, I had no idea. I haven't read any stories like this, so I thought this was original. No plagiarism was intended :)
plane ground--I think you mean plain ground or level ground.
Author's Response: Thank you, I'll fix that :)
hope you don't mind too muck if I nit pick on some details.
The bulk of the story is 2 days later after the meeting with Bill Weasley. It seems odd to me that the detectives would wait that long before consulting Rufflesius' sister.
Also, I think in this chapter it should at least mention, the other interviews Albus and Scorpius did.--other people who attended the ice sculpure event, other people in Gringotts who heard the arguement between Rufflesius and Ken. (if only to establish that Albus and Scorpius were really busy those two days)
I also don't think Albus would directly accuse Rufflesius of killing Ken. They might say he is a person of interest in the death of Ken... I'm not an expert on police terms but I think person of interest implies he might have had something to do with the death, but they are still looking for proof.
Having reread this a number of times, I think I know who did it, but I will wait till you reveal it, then let you know if how well my guess was.
Author's Response: Its okay, nitpicks and constructive criticisms are appreciated :) I'll try to edit in whatever you wrote; it really was my fault for not fixing up those stuff. And about Albus, that's just his character quirkiness. As you know, in the later chapters, it was mentioned that the only reason Albus was made the deputy head was due to a unanimous vote by people trying to get into Harry's better books. It was just Al's character to jump to conclusions without looking at the whole story :). Scorpius, on the other hand, is much more mature and deals with everything in a more professional and dignified way. I had the two of them paired up so that Scorpius could stop from taking any rash decision :P.
Thank you for the review :). Comments and feedback are always appreciated! --Nadia
Very good story. I really enjoyed reading it. I look forward to your next chapter story. Well written. You should be very proud.
Author's Response: Thanks, Jay! I'm really glad you liked the story, and yes, I am rather proud of this one :D. Now that I've finished this fic I can finally continue on my other WIPs, so do keep an eye out for them! Once again, thank you so much for the review! =)
This is really good! Although I could just KILL you right now for ending Chapter 5 with such a massive cliffhanger - I really want to know who it is!! Haha!
I love how you have made Scorpius' character superior in so many ways to Albus which is ironic because Albus is supposed to be superior to him! It adds a twist and a great alternative to the typical Malfoy-Slytherin stereotype. :)
I also love the spell Hermione invented so they can directly follow apparition, that just sounds SO Hermione Granger!
Please finish soon! :D
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so sorry about the cliff-hanger. I'm almost done with chapter 6, though! I'm so sorry, but my exams are up in a month and I'm just so busy with studies that I've barely had time to write. And I'm glad you liked Scorpius! He's such a fun character to write. And Hermione - I always thought she'd make a new spell. She's so brilliant after all. Once again, thanks for the review! I'll try to update ASAP. I hope you'll like the next chapter! --Nadia
This is so good! I love mysteries, and this is turning out to be extremely interesting. I really love it, and I am excited and impatient for more!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'll try to update ASAP. I currently have my mid-years, so I can't say when I'll update next. I'll do it as soon as the exams end :) --Nadia
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE finish it
Author's Response: I will, soon :). At the moment I'm having my mid-years, so writing-time is limited. But I promise I'll finish the story! :D
Well, who knows? Their is a lot of evidence that says that he did it but I'm thinking you're going to surprise us all with someone that they didn't even guess who would do it, but their is a chance it could be.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! And yes, it's rather too obvious about Jerry, but he might have another back-story totally ;). You'll find the killer soon; there's around 2-3 more chapters left. --Nadia
Nooo, it's too obvious. I don't think Jerry did it. I also think that Albus is a bad choice as Deputy Head Auror. He jumps to too many conclusions. Scorpius is much, much better.
I actually think the wife did it. There are endless opportunities for PolyJuice Potion to give her an alibi. Murder weapon - hmmm, looking at the mop and the water, I have a shrewd idea, but I won't give the game away.
Um, one thing that didn;t ring true for me was Scorpius having to buy Rose an expensive diamond ring. I really can't see any Weasley child being that materialistic. Hermione would have more sense than to raise a spoiled brat.
,br> Interesting story, Nadia. ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Carole! I totally agree with you about Albus. Scorpius would have been much better; you already saw how Scorpius jokes about it. I also agree with you about the ring iin a way, but I've seen loads of nice, un-spoiled brats go crazy on seeing rare jewellery. If you look at it that way, Rose was a girl who was raised in a safe, not-dangerous environment (unlike Hermione, who had to face so many dangerous stuff). so I'm sure that like other girls she'd probably go tipsy about the pink-diamond. I know I did when I read about it in the news, though I knew I'd never get to buy it ^_^. So, Rose was just gushing on and on about it to Scorpius, who finally got annoyed and bought her another ring, hehe. :P Atleast that's my version of the story!
And as for the wife, you'll have to wait and see ;).
Once again, thanks for reviewing! *squishes* --Nadia
I like how you just plunged into this, leaving behind the boring background (for this story anyway )of why Albus and Scorpius became friends. Yes I figure that Scorpius is married to Rose. Hope you update soon.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! As for Al and Scorpius becoming friends, I might write about it in later chapters, I haven't decided yet. I'll try to update ASAP :) --Nadia
AH...a cliffhanger! Really nice job, I love mysteries...especially if Scorpius and Albus are in it! Ha-ha...
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked this!:D :D --Nadia