Wow. Disturbing, but very, very good. =)
Author's Response: Thank you.
I'm not really sure what happened with my last review... because it was about twice as long as it appears... so I'll try to remember what I wrote.
You're right, if Remus' nature doesn't change, why should anyone else's?
Someday, your world will be built, a world run by your species. A world where lesser humans don’t control you, where you are the king.
Or at least not hunted. Not hated. I loved those lines, because it conrasted his desire for power and control with a simple human desire simply to be accepted as you are.
I loved the use of second person - it's one of my favourite perspectives to write/read - and you really pulled it off here. Greyback is a character with whom I don't exactly empathise and so by using this perspective you really made me feel what it was like to be him.
Your writing was fantastic - as usual - particularly the ending. Your use of short sentences was really effective - it somehow really fitted Greyback's character and they seemed to get shorter as the action built up.
Excellent story, though a little creepy.
Author's Response: Thank you again. I really like to look at different perspectives in fanfiction, and Greyback's in too often overlooked. A villain's mind is just as complex as a hero's. I've never attempted full second-person before-- it was mostly an experience. i'm glad you think so much of my storytelling. Julie
very disturbing and creepy, but it definitely works for this piece. is this a one shot, because it would be cool if you could add more to this. im very interested to see what happens next. you really seemed to capture greybacks pov...good job!
Author's Response: Sorry, but this is one chapter only. Your imagination as to the next chapter is probably much more vivid than mine. Thank you for the review.
Wonderful. I think the most amazing thing about this story is how you got inside Greyback's head. I loved the idea that he had been 'different' and already savage before he was bitten, because I think that's more believable than saying he just became that way.
I loved the idea that he wanted to breed a pack, in a way. And the way he sees himself almost as a father figure who guides them. And I got a sense that he almost feels protective for this pack, which was an interesting contrast in his character.
Author's Response: Thank you. I knew that he couldn't just change his nature-- Remus didn't. And the idea of protecting his pack seemed natural. After all, nobody's all bad.