Reviews For The Champion
Reviewer: Chocolate butterbeer
Date: 03/21/13 19:49
Chapter: Chapter 1

I rlly like your take on Cedric its very realistic.
Knowing the ending just makes this fic so much sadder
And of course Luna was right!!!

Author's Response: OMG, how didn't I respond to this?! So, so sorry! So happy you liked the story, and thank you so very much! Luna is awesome, haha! :)

Reviewer: goldensnidget92
Date: 02/03/12 23:20
Chapter: Chapter 1

I really enjoyed this fic! At the moment I'm really interested in reading about the characters we don't hear much from in the books, so I especially enjoyed the psychology of this character.

Sometimes stories set in a very limited amount of time don't work as well, but I thought you balanced it out perfectly with the use of the flashbacks. I loved reading deeper into Cedric: he's generally accepted as a "decent chap" character, and I thought you brought a lot more depth to him, particularly where you mentioned his family teasing him about being in Hufflepuff. Having been sorted into that house on Pottermore, I appreciated being stuck up for! We definitely don't have the best reputation!

If I could think of anything to improve this story, I would mention it, but I honestly can't: it was fun to read, but also thought-provoking. Thanks for writing!

Author's Response: Sorry for taking an age with this response. I wanted to write a nice, long one and I was like *tomorrow* and tomorrow never came and I became an idiot. >.< Anyway, I'm so glad that you liked the fic and that you enjoyed Cedric! I liked writing him too, it was a lot of fun and I felt terribly sorry that I had to kill him off in the end. :( And yes, playing around with his background was particularly interesting. And I'm a Hufflepuff too, though Pottermore put me in Slytherin. MNFF Sorted me as a 'Puff six years ago and I'd like to stay with that. :) All in all, thank you so very much for the review and for letting me know in detail about the points in my story that you liked. :)

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 01/27/12 8:55
Chapter: Chapter 1

This starts in a dramatic and mysterious way, Pooja. I love the fact that we launch straight into a dream, a dreadfully prophetic dream because we all know how things end for Cedric. I think the main problem with Cedric fics, is that they can get bogged down in the horrible foreknowledge we are party to that this boy is going to die and we’re powerless to stop it. Therefore, it takes something a bit different to jolt a story out of its usual gloom or heavy-handed irony. Because you start with his dream, I think you neatly escape any of these problems.

The breakfast scene with Cho and Luna is a good example of this. Cedric being more concerned for Cho’s OWL is a good example of how he cares for people and how he needs to distract himself from the task ahead and the dream that’s plaguing him. Typical that Luna’s there to cause him discomfort (really, she makes me want to shaker her with her at times).

The scene in the antechamber when he meets his parents is good, but I don’t think he’d have known who Bill Weasley was. Cedric was born in 1977, Bill in 1970, so he wouldn’t have seen him at Hogwarts, and he didn’t see him at the Quidditch World Cup because Bill, Charlie and Percy arrived later. I think it would have been better if Cedric had thought something like ‘a red-haired man that he could only assume was the twins oldest brother.’ I would use the twins here, rather than Ron, because he doesn’t know Ron at all but has a rivalry with Fred and George.

The trouble, I remember, with this challenge, was the way we had to use the prompts. For the vast majority of the story, I thought your use was seamless, and I was hard pushed to remember what the actual prompts were. However, when Cedric met up with Alcott Burke, I did falter a little because it came rather out of the blue. It’s a nice scene, but I don’t think it’s necessary to the story, so if you were to rewrite, then it might be advisable to remove this part. (This is actually the reason I never submitted my Justin story because I couldn’t get it to fit together with any credibility. Although you managed this far better than my attempt.) I was very pleased when you returned to the scene with Alcott because it gave him more credibility to be in the story.

He had also been appointed Prefect (the letter had arrived just a few days ago) and all his teachers expected him to score very well in his OWLs when he would take them in about a year.

I think this needs rewording because it makes it sound as if he’ll take his OWLs in the sixth year. I don’t think you need the ‘when he would take them in about a year’ because it sounds a bit clumsy. We all know when they take OWLs and we know that the prefect letters arrive just before they go back for their fifth year, so you’re telling us things we already know.

Larry was a horrible cousin. Poor Cedric, but this was great because it showed not everyone liked him. I would pick at Larry saying ‘Sheesh’ because it’s a very American word. This was a good part of the story, showing Cedric’s obligations and also the expectations his father pours on him.

I really like the relationship with Cho and the dreadful poems she writes. That was a lovely light-hearted interlude in the story that had me giggling and hopeful for them.

Your Cedric is quite different from mine. Essentially, I think we have the same man, but I don’t see him as that modest. Certainly, in the books he seems confident and not especially self-effacing. This isn’t to say Cedric is boastful and bigheaded, but, in my opinion, I think he knows his worth. He’s captain of the Hufflepuff team and a prefect, and I don’t think you get those badges if you’re too modest. I liked the fact in your story that the tournament was bringing this confidence out in him, but I’m not sure he was that insecure in the first place. But that’s our differing interpretations, so your opinion is just as valid as mine.

Oh, and you killed him. Well, you had to. What I really thought was good here, is that you didn’t go overboard with the death or make it overly sentimental. It was factual, but very poignant. And that made it much more powerful.

Well done on this exploration of Cedric, Pooja. ~Carole~

Author's Response: OMG, Carole, you left this review like half a year ago and I've been a total douche and a blob for not responding to it sooner. I'm so, so sorry about this! The dream wouldn't have been there if this weren't for the drabblethon, I guess so thanks to Terri, it came into the picture. :p I'm not a fan of these foreboding, prophecy-like pre-death experiences because on an average, no one gets a warning that they're about to die. I was slightly worried about this part being cliched and well... bad and now that you say it was good... I'm really relieved. :D The Cedric/Cho dynamic is scarece in GoF and we don't get to know much about hoe close they are until OotP where Cho gets annoying. I decided to put in some of that here... I think, I just wanted to make this a more light-hearted, non-angsty fic because frankly, I hate sad endings and if they have to be there I find it amongst my duties to put a smile on the readers' faces before the final blow. And Luna... well, she's annoying and strange and scary sometimes. >.< Hmm... I calculated Bill's age, but I obviously did it wrong now that you mention it. I will go back and make your changes ASAP (and again, I shouldn't have waited so long to do this, but I'm a douche. *curses self*) I will definitely take your suggestion, because you're always so awesome with those. :) And the Alcott thing. Well, yes. I didn't want it there. It wasn't... right and it didn't fit but I think I was greedy for points (but am not now :D). I will go through this entire story once again and edit it. Maybe even find a Beta and renew it entirely because I think it needs a bit of washing up. I'm planning to dedicate some time in the near future into re-doing my old stuff and making it more like a 20-year old's writing than that of a girl who was a teenager. :D As for the rewording and the Americanism, will keep that in mind too. The Larry part-- yes, I needed that because Cedric is a Canon Mary-Sue and I did not want a Mary-Sue in my story. Cedric's father is so typical, he makes me want to kill him and thank the heavens above that my parents are not like that. It's painful, it really is. And yes, I wondered if I should make Cedric insecure-- mainly because everyone thought he was calm and confident, but... I basically wanted to highlight the difference between what people thought he was and what he really was like. But him being confident from the beginning works too. We don't know anything about what ever went on in his head, so both these interpretations work well I guess. Ah. I killed him. >.< It was sad to let go of him, he's a sweetheart of a character and he really had me feeling super-sorry for him. But I don't believe in tear-jerkers since I touched fifteen. Until then, I was a stupid teenage girl and it all seemed good. Now tear-jerkers seem silly. I prefer few words and reaction. Thank you for that lovely review, Carole and Sorry that I'm so stupid for not responding earlier! *shoots self with gun*

Author's Response: OMG, Carole, you left this review like half a year ago and I've been a total douche and a blob for not responding to it sooner. I'm so, so sorry about this! The dream wouldn't have been there if this weren't for the drabblethon, I guess so thanks to Terri, it came into the picture. :p I'm not a fan of these foreboding, prophecy-like pre-death experiences because on an average, no one gets a warning that they're about to die. I was slightly worried about this part being cliched and well... bad and now that you say it was good... I'm really relieved. :D The Cedric/Cho dynamic is scarece in GoF and we don't get to know much about hoe close they are until OotP where Cho gets annoying. I decided to put in some of that here... I think, I just wanted to make this a more light-hearted, non-angsty fic because frankly, I hate sad endings and if they have to be there I find it amongst my duties to put a smile on the readers' faces before the final blow. And Luna... well, she's annoying and strange and scary sometimes. >.< Hmm... I calculated Bill's age, but I obviously did it wrong now that you mention it. I will go back and make your changes ASAP (and again, I shouldn't have waited so long to do this, but I'm a douche. *curses self*) I will definitely take your suggestion, because you're always so awesome with those. :) And the Alcott thing. Well, yes. I didn't want it there. It wasn't... right and it didn't fit but I think I was greedy for points (but am not now :D). I will go through this entire story once again and edit it. Maybe even find a Beta and renew it entirely because I think it needs a bit of washing up. I'm planning to dedicate some time in the near future into re-doing my old stuff and making it more like a 20-year old's writing than that of a girl who was a teenager. :D As for the rewording and the Americanism, will keep that in mind too. The Larry part-- yes, I needed that because Cedric is a Canon Mary-Sue and I did not want a Mary-Sue in my story. Cedric's father is so typical, he makes me want to kill him and thank the heavens above that my parents are not like that. It's painful, it really is. And yes, I wondered if I should make Cedric insecure-- mainly because everyone thought he was calm and confident, but... I basically wanted to highlight the difference between what people thought he was and what he really was like. But him being confident from the beginning works too. We don't know anything about what ever went on in his head, so both these interpretations work well I guess. Ah. I killed him. >.< It was sad to let go of him, he's a sweetheart of a character and he really had me feeling super-sorry for him. But I don't believe in tear-jerkers since I touched fifteen. Until then, I was a stupid teenage girl and it all seemed good. Now tear-jerkers seem silly. I prefer few words and reaction. Thank you for that lovely review, Carole and Sorry that I'm so stupid for not responding earlier! *shoots self with gun*

Reviewer: RonW
Date: 07/01/11 8:06
Chapter: Chapter 1

wow... beautiful... it was extremely touching. I almost cried .. cedric was a hero indeed

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad that the story touched you. I felt terrible for Cedric too... :(

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