Oh, this is so cute... ^_^ I'd love to read more of a chaptered fic on your take on their relationship in this particular circumstance. All the details of what led up to it and such. I thoroughly enjoyed it, though. Well done. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! You know, I was so excited as I was trying to come up with a backstory to this, but I don't know that there will ever be more. If you check my author's page, I'm a pretty canon-loving girl, lol. But you never know, I suppose! It was a great challenge to try and make these two believable in my eyes. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for the review! ~Gina :)
What a lovely little scene!
I love how you created this story without making the characters OOC. I find that the greatest downfall of Dramione stories is the author’s inability to create a story while keeping the characters how they would be in canon, but you have pulled off this story wonderfully. Hermione remains perfectly rational while Draco continues his smirky, controlling manner.
The tone shift in this story is quite interesting. We start off with friendly banter, which is quite funny. What I love is that the humour isn’t forced, instead it comes naturally, from realistic banter between the characters. The dialogue feels as if it could have really happened, and it doesn’t sound scripted. Furthermore, you add just enough description to the dialogue to create a picture, but it isn’t overbearing. We are very effectively taken from this realistic and hilarious banter into a darker mood, where Draco is showing his true feelings. What’s excellent about this is that he isn’t being overly open with them, but he isn’t being overly closed about them either, almost reminiscent of how I imagine him to have been with Myrtle in HBP. The dark mood really emphasises the level of their friendship. There appears to be actual trust between them rather than just physical attraction. Then, the tone effortlessly shifts back to humour.
The sexual tension between the two is fabulous. There is just enough to get the reader excited about what is to happen next, but instead, you end it, leaving the reader craving more action between the two. The natural chemistry is there without seeming laboured. I think that the way you end the scene, with Hermione leaving with Draco, leaves just enough to the imagination, but at the same time, it’s the natural ending point. The reader is given just enough for it to be satisfying, and leaves the ending open for what they hope to happen next.
This story flows naturally, shifting from mood to mood effortlessly. The balance between action, dialogue, and description feels balanced, and I am not left with any sort of desire for more of the one or feeling like I have been overwhelmed with another.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review. This was yet another story that seemed overlooked, and I sometimes worried with all the Dramione love around that it must be terrible, lol. And yet I quite enjoyed the challenge of hooking these two up without killing one of their significant others or forcing a marriage law on them, haha. I'm glad it worked for you. I'm thrilled the characters came off well, especially their dialogue. I sometimes think I write too much dialogue, but I really, truly *hear* things like this in my head. I had sketched out a few chapters leading up to this and then a few more, although nothing immediately following what happens when they leave the restaurant. I liked leaving that open and am glad it wasn't annoying to leave the reader hanging too much. Thanks again for all the lovely feedback on what works and what's going well, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)
It's kind of hilarious that J.K. Rowling herself admitted that Draco had a crush on Hermione :) This is exactly how they would behave, of course! Great story.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Where did she admit that?? That's awesome! I'm glad you found them somewhat realistic here. Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
You have to continue this!!! Its amazing :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much! It's nice to know someone enjoyed it. Hopefully I'll get the bug to continue it someday, since I really did have a plan. Thanks so much for the review! ~Gina :)
Great one-shot! I'd love if you continued it! ;)
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I do have a lot of other thoughts about this, so maybe someday I will. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)