Hi, Teresa. It is significant to see that you have been writing stories about the main characters in the Potterverse for so long. Your love for, and understanding of, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny show up very well in this four-part examination of what they did immediately after the final battle. Except for the Epilogue, Deathly Hallows ends rather abruptly, but considering all that these characters have been through, they deserve a bit more of a wind-down. You sensitively realize that they must have had a myriad of thoughts, memories, and emotions swirling in their brains, and the sudden release of tension after so many years of unrelenting stress and danger must have been totally disorienting.
The organization of this story is wisely chosen, devoting a separate chapter to each character, and linking the chapters by repeating certain dialogue and actions. Trying to do them all together, jumping from one person to another, paragraph by paragraph, would have been more confusing and much less effective.
I would say that the chapters on Ron, Hermione, and Harry are the strongest, simply because we know more about these characters, so we have a rich lode of source material to mine.
Here are some of the things that stood out for me:
Ron’s conversation with Nearly Headless Nick in the deserted dungeon room. Ron’s consideration of the possibility of seeing his dead brother as a ghost parallels Harry’s consideration, somewhere in the texts, of seeing his dead loved ones similarly.
The chapter about Harry is the best of them all, with many good insights, especially the one about doing whatever it took to become an Auror and leaving the decision about his schooling to the Minister of Magic. That is the strongest and most logical treatment of that plot point that I have seen. It just feels right. Other good details in that chapter include the rivers of blood and grime that poured off him as he showered, his twinge of irritation that more people were not looking for him, and the smoke leaking out between the stones outside the Room of Requirement.
Your writing is a pleasure to read. The sentences are graceful, the words well-chosen, and the style, even though you are describing a lot of emotions and trains of thought, is very straightforward.
I see that you have not posted anything on this website recently; I assume that as you get older, real life absorbs more of your time and energy. But I am glad that you have contributed this story; it does a nice job of carrying the tale just a little bit farther.
This is perfect. The characters, the writing, the emotion. What else can I say? I love it.
Very well done! Love all chapters! I have read them, re-read them, and will probably read them again in the future! I think you hit them all point blank! Great job!
I took a slight glance at the first few words and couldn't stop laughing afterwards!!! It was soo funny!
So, I stumbled across this story while looking around for something more than a romance to read, and look what I find!
What I want to say is how fantastically you wove each character's story together without making each one too alike. They all grieve in different ways, and the way that you brought that out was just simply amazing! The way you wrote Ron was most certainly one of the best characterizations I've seen of him.
Thank you for such a good read!
Simply perfect. I can think of nothing that would improve this fic.
Fred's death is, for me, the most upsetting one, and I still cry when I read it, so your depiction of its aftermath was awful to read (in a good way). Especially in Ginny's chapter, when you describe the reaction of Molly, it was just so terribly sad, and I'll admit, I cried.
I'm so glad you made Harry cry (now I sound really mean...). I just think that he hardly cries in the books, and the moments when he does are just so much more powerful. It was such a significant moment in this chapter, and the fact that he could only do it with Ginny just affirms her importance, something which I find is often overshadowed by the trio.
Wow, I really enjoyed reading this. I went into not knowing exactly how it would be, but I thought your characterization is close to spot-on. I really liked how you had Ginny react to Fred, how actually you had all of the Weasley's written. I noticed a small technical error, I'm pretty sure the furnunculus curse and jelly legs jinx should both be capitalized.
But once again, I love your characterization, and am eager to see what you have in store for the other three :)