Reviews For Christmas Alone
Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 02/19/12 8:07
Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi, Julie!

I remember this poem when it was brand new, and I've decided to pay you a visit and discuss it a little bit. The mousy-brown, sad Tonks is an interesting subject, one I'm surprised hasn't been broached in fanfic or poetry much before. There was just such a potent sense of melancholy in HBP when Tonks summons her Patronus and it was not 'hers'. It was probably the first emotion I'd felt toward Tonks in the whole series to that point, so basing poetry off of it is like an instant connection for me to that melancholy Tonks.

The format you used is interesting, with the three-lined, shorter verse, followed by the four-lined one. There are a couple things I found a bit puzzling about it, however. In the beginning, there seems to be a rhyme scheme, but after a few stanzas, it sort of trickles away. I think the rhyming *might* have been unintentional, but I would be interested in your input about it. Also, the formula seems to stumble a bit toward the end in places where the stanza format doesn't alternate in its regular fashion. A steady form probably would've helped the poem out a bit in terms of flow and visual aesthetics.

Anyway, on to more fun things! The phrase 'Is there anything lonelier than Christmas when you don't want anyone else there?' is so potent for me, because Christmas seems like a holiday that a boisterous person like Tonks would love, but her feelings for Remus and his refusal to act on them are taking that away from her. In my head, it's very much like someone stealing a child's lollipop. It makes me a bit cross with Remus, but having written him lately, I can't stay mad at him (especially after what I did :/ ).

A diary is such a Remus gift. I have him pegged as a diary-keeper, so it fits in my head as something he might try to do to help Tonks without risking comforting her in person.

Overall, this is a nice poem with a few things that could be tweaked to make it a great poem. I liked this when I modded it, and I still do now. Thanks for listening, and well done. I look forward to further poems from you. :)

~Jess

Author's Response: Thank you. I wasn't thinking in terms of poetry when I wrote it to tell the truth. I was just putting it down and at the end it was just more poetry than anything else. I'll look into tweaking it when I'm less busy. I'm really glad you enjoyed the subject. Julie

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
Somebody Like You by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
After tea leaves predict romance for Snape, he makes a sardonic wish on...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst.
CATEGORIES