Reviews For Christmas Alone
Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 02/19/12 8:07
Chapter: Chapter 1

Hi, Julie!

I remember this poem when it was brand new, and I've decided to pay you a visit and discuss it a little bit. The mousy-brown, sad Tonks is an interesting subject, one I'm surprised hasn't been broached in fanfic or poetry much before. There was just such a potent sense of melancholy in HBP when Tonks summons her Patronus and it was not 'hers'. It was probably the first emotion I'd felt toward Tonks in the whole series to that point, so basing poetry off of it is like an instant connection for me to that melancholy Tonks.

The format you used is interesting, with the three-lined, shorter verse, followed by the four-lined one. There are a couple things I found a bit puzzling about it, however. In the beginning, there seems to be a rhyme scheme, but after a few stanzas, it sort of trickles away. I think the rhyming *might* have been unintentional, but I would be interested in your input about it. Also, the formula seems to stumble a bit toward the end in places where the stanza format doesn't alternate in its regular fashion. A steady form probably would've helped the poem out a bit in terms of flow and visual aesthetics.

Anyway, on to more fun things! The phrase 'Is there anything lonelier than Christmas when you don't want anyone else there?' is so potent for me, because Christmas seems like a holiday that a boisterous person like Tonks would love, but her feelings for Remus and his refusal to act on them are taking that away from her. In my head, it's very much like someone stealing a child's lollipop. It makes me a bit cross with Remus, but having written him lately, I can't stay mad at him (especially after what I did :/ ).

A diary is such a Remus gift. I have him pegged as a diary-keeper, so it fits in my head as something he might try to do to help Tonks without risking comforting her in person.

Overall, this is a nice poem with a few things that could be tweaked to make it a great poem. I liked this when I modded it, and I still do now. Thanks for listening, and well done. I look forward to further poems from you. :)

~Jess

Author's Response: Thank you. I wasn't thinking in terms of poetry when I wrote it to tell the truth. I was just putting it down and at the end it was just more poetry than anything else. I'll look into tweaking it when I'm less busy. I'm really glad you enjoyed the subject. Julie

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Argus Filch by BrokenPromise 1st-2nd Years
Written for the Anniversary Challenge v3 over on the boards - a double dactyl...
The Prisoner by weasley-malfoy-aficionado 3rd-5th Years
A prisoner of Azkaban reflects on what is and what could have been. Little...
Harry Potter and the Sinister Plot by weasley-malfoy-aficionado 3rd-5th Years
Patrolling the streets of Hogsmeade one snowy day Ron encounters an unexpected...
FEATURED
Come Home by WrenWinterSong 1st-2nd Years
Three year old Teddy Lupin ponders the photographs on the living room side table.
But You Haven't Lost Me Yet by Dawnie 6th-7th Years
The war with Voldemort comes and goes, and James and Lily find themselves struggling...
broken brights by Padfoot11333 1st-2nd Years
Harry's breath catches when he thinks of Ginny. I am not JK Rowling and...
CATEGORIES