It was wonderful, the way you finished off like that. It sounded... beautiful. I really liked it.
I liked it very much. Oliver Wood is my favorite!!! Sean Biggerstaff has an amazing voice.
Author's Response: Thank you :) I must say, Oliver Wood is one of my favourites too! ~Maple
I love missing moments stories, Maple, and what you have here is a story packed with the types of things that could have happened when we weren;t following Harry. Hermione is great here. I love the nervousness when she first arrives at Hogwarts and the terror that she''ll get lost and the way she studied so she wouldn't feel out of place (but she still was alone :( ) I'm glad she had a friend in Oliver, who let's face it is so obsessed with Quidditch he probably needs someone talking to him about other things. (I love him really, you know that.)
And what she saw was both wonderful and absolutely terrifying. In that moment, she saw something in his eyes that she had never thought she’d see. It looked as if he wanted to kiss her.
Gahh, such unresolved tension there, but she's so young and scared and ... he wouldn;t have done it in front of everyone, but that was such a lovely moment. My favourite, I think, in the story.
I do think there were places where the dialogue took over a little. I know you were going through the books, and you did so very effectively, but sometimes I thought there was too much talking. (only a little, though)
,br> You retold the events very well. I had to check some things because I'd totally forgotten that she'd got on a broom as well when they were after the key. I'm too used to playing the PC game where it's just Harry - LOL.
nit pick“I heard that you, Ron, and Harry managed to cpture Flitwick’s key. By flying.” (capture)
Good luck in the challenge. This is a lovely story about friendship that could blossom into something more, but hasn't yet. I'm rather glad you resisted the temptation to turn it into a full romance, but still left the option for them to take up at a later date. Well done ~Carole~
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Carole. I definately think that this is one of the sotries I was most happy with, for sure. I can definately see that dialogue does become a little too dialoguy. Definately something I will work on as I continue to write. ACK! how did I not notice the capture thing?? Thanks again! Maple
Wow this was so awesome. I thouroughly enjoyed this a lot! Maple this was fantastic.
Personally, I can really connect with this because I like to think that I identify with Hermione. More importantly, my best friend and I met when I was 14 and he was 17 and he'll be graduating this year so it's kind of along the same storyline!! That made it really fun for me to read this.
Also, I really loved how you took alot of canon moments that were focused on Ron and Harry or where you didn't know what Hermione was doing at the time and put the events in there.
My only crit would be maybe to elaborate some of the events, some of them felt a little to short for me and also to maybe have soe more that didn't deal with just Quidditch, though that might be difficult and unrealistic.
Very nice!!!!!!! :)
Author's Response: Megannn! I find that so, so ironic, because the first bit really was me writing what I was feeling when my friend I met when I was 13 and he was 16 came back three years after graduating :/ Thank you for the lovely review, it made my night :) =Maple
I loved this peice. All these little details I hadn't taken much thought to, you turned into an amazing story. I really liked how you portrayed Oliver, too: Sort of like a big brother, always there for Hermione, but not as sibling-ish.
P.S. Congrats! This is the first review I've ever given :) Couldn't be happier to tell you what I think.
Author's Response: Thaks so much! You made my morning, I must say. And its funny how you can twist little canon monents, isn't it? Maple