Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx
Date: 03/04/12 0:42
Chapter: What Comes Before Death

Hello, Helena :) I really think it's so unjust when well-written, original stories are ignored on the Most Recent list. So here's a semi-coherent review (partly because it's 12.30am and I'm kind of sleepy...) and sorry if there are any typos.

The story of Helena and the Bloody Baron has always intrigued me, so this was a really interesting read, and an excellent attempt to fill in a DH missing moment. I loved your characterisation of both Charles and Helena, and how you created that chemistry right from the very beginning.

I especially liked how you kind of redeemed the Bloody Baron for me. As in, he's painted in a rather bad light in the books, and you made me feel really sorry for him and kind of understand his actions. That in itself is an achievement -- well done there.

Something I think I'll have to pull you up on is that, occasionally, the paragraphs looked rather long, and it did wreak my head a little looking at quite large chunks of writing on the page, so I suggest you cut some of them down. It's more for aesthetic reasons than anything, tbh.

When I wrote my Founders story (in case you're interested, it's a Helga/Rowena called The Caustic Ticking of the Clock /shameless self-promotion), I had a lot of timeline errors that both my beta and my mod had to point out to me. You didn't have any that I could see; well done on that too.

I loved the ending. I think it summed up Charles's feelings perfectly, and it was decidedly rather bloody. (On that note, perhaps bump up the rating to 6th-7th years? It was pretty intense, but it is your choice, I know.) Soooo, excellent story, Helena (what a coincidence, lol) and good luck in the challenge!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thanks Soraya! I did always find Helena Ravenclaw very interesting (ok, partly because of the name!) and this challenge was the perfect opportunity for me to explore her story. I also really like looking at things from different perspectives, and the Bloody Baron almost wrote himself for me, which was pretty fascinating! Thanks for the heads up about the paragraphs - duly noted! And also for the rating. I think I got so caught up in the writing, and because I always knew it would end that way, it didn't seem as bad for me, but it's good to know your reaction! But thanks for the great review, it was really appreciated!! (Think I'll go and read your Helga/Rowena now..)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Unexploded Bombs by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Dudley Dursley has just experienced the death of his elderly father Vernon from...
Ginny's Big Decision by dg04 1st-2nd Years
After Dumbledore's Funeral, Harry tells Ginny that they can't be together anymore...
Little Lions by SexY_LydZ 6th-7th Years
On a stormy October evening, a letter, a late night trip to the library and...
FEATURED
Going Against Salazar's Grain by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
"Sometimes," said Dumbledore, "we sort too soon." Originally writtten for...
Whispers in the Night by lucca4 6th-7th Years
"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell." It's a secret, and it haunts...
Fear and Loathing in Florida (Mostly Loathing) by minnabird 3rd-5th Years
Scabior and Greyback had to escape the Aurors somehow - they just hadn't expected...
Just Before Healing by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
With Hannah, things always go to yellow.
In Bloom by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
It figures that he ignores the other side of roses. Thorns fit to draw blood...
Magical by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ginny and her brothers sneak down the stairs to look at presents, but instead...
CATEGORIES