This fic almost had me in tears... especially that last line He has nothing to do with us. I think as well as getting inside Frank's head in this, you show really well how awful it is for Neville to see them and them not to recognise him - probably more poignantly than had you written it from Neville's perspective.
I like what Frank can actually recognise about Neville - that he's only recently a man and that he's seen far too much - and yet he has no idea who this is. I also liked his memory of Alice and the connection you gave the two of them.
Also the detail about the food and how he can't eat it was really thoughtful and adds to the characterisation.
The way he can't remember specific words is really well done - it interrupts the story in a good way and really shows what it's like for him - it reminds me of someone with Alzheimer's, which I think is interesting, because Frank and Alice's illness often reminds me of that - there's something really terrible about losing your mind, as opposed to a more physical illness.
Anyway sorry this was a bit rushed, but I loved the story, and you really pulled this off.
~Katrina
Wow. That was beautiful. Such a sad reality to imagine... bur you imagine it perfectly, I think.
Author's Response: Thank you. I really appreciate you leaving such a lovely review--I'm flattered. Thanks--Alex
Very sad and bleak. I feel so sorry for Frank and Alice and Neville. You write very well.
Author's Response: Alice and Frank's story is sad and bleak--I'm pleased you think I've portrayed that well. Thank you for your compliments, and thanks for reading and reviewing. Alex
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I loved this when I first read it and I love it even more now. I love reading stuff about Frank and Alice because I love getting inside their heads and this was just a lovely lovely lovely lovely example of that.
(And it was somewhat written for ME! Alex, I love you!)
I was planning on telling you my favorite part but I realised that I just can't decide. I love this line:
I try to say it again, yearning with my eyes, to let her know that I don’t know her name, but I know something happened between us.
I love the palpability between Frank and Alice throughout this whole thing and I think this line is just a beautiful description of all that.
I like how it was soo short but you still managed to tell an entire story (psshhh who am I talking about writing short things…) in just over a thousand words.
I love the poetic style that you’ve written this in maybe most of all. You have so much imagery and even though usually runon sentences would be kind of a turnoff, I think they really accentuate the story here.
Beautiful. I love it.
Lily xxx
Author's Response: Hello LIly!! I was hoping you'd drop by, even though the Alice/Frank-ness was kind of removed. This is how I originally wrote it, and I felt the ending in your lovenote was kind of forced. I'm glad you like it this way as well. And <3 to you wanting to tell me your favourite part, but not being able to choose. And even though I removed some of the Lovenotey aspect, you still found the relationship between Frank and Alice palpable.
This is my shortest story, so I'm delighted that you thought it was dense, and that the poetic style and run-on sentences worked well as a reflection of Frank's thoughts. Stories of Frank and Alice tend to have their thoughts broken (and do so excellently) and I wanted to see how it would work like this. Thank you again for such a lovely review-Alex.
Very well written. I could swear this is what goes on in their heads.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review, and for thinking it's a realistic portrayal of how Frank thinks. Thank you--Alex
