Okay, Iris, when will the next chapter be up????!!!!(: I can't wait to rea more! Keep me updated!(:
Author's Response: I'm having a little writer's block. It will be this month, I promise.
I really like the changes you made in this chapter and I can't wait to read more! I'm glad I was snooping through the reviews of some author who happened to read this because I would never have found it if I didn't...
Author's Response: Thank you. Originally, I didn't have a beta but I fixed everything up. And the next chapter will be up soon, I promise.
Iris is characterized well in this chapter. I think her relationship with Remus is very sweet. The parallels to Harry's first visit to Diagon Alley are clear, but this doesn't have the same excitement as his did. I would have liked to have seen more about Iris seeing the wanted posters, or somebody talking about Sirius, to add some tension to the story. Basically, each chapter should add some mystery to the plot.
Author's Response: I'm adding more Sirius every chapter. He'll pop up soon. And thank you for the compliments! Thanks for reviewing too!
This prologue is great because it creates some dramatic irony for the next chapter. The reader knows a lot more than Iris does. I really liked Remus's characterization, but I would have liked to learn more about Anne. I'm curious about Anne and Sirius's relationship, and Anne and James's relationship. Maybe there will be some flashbacks in later chapters? Overall, this prologue was slightly rushed in order to give the reader a lot of information, but definitely sets the foundation for Iris's story.
Author's Response: I'm working on sort of a prequel during the Marauders' last year at Hogwarts. All will be explained then. Anne will be developed a little by little every chapter. Thanks for the review!
Oh the irony of dogwood! Haha...I can only guess what Ollivander was going to say...
The dialogue between Astoria and Iris was brief, and despite me wanting a little bit more of that, it was good. The owl was a cute touch.
I'm really warming to Astoria. She doesn't like her Slytherin sister, which is 'good'. It makes me wonder if the Greengrasses are actually the snobby pure-bloods they are often portrayed as.
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you! I have finals this week, so it might be a little while. And just wait until you meet Daphne...
I am enjoying this story, looking forward to more chapters
Interesting start to this story. Look forward too more
I really like this. It's a really good prologue for wha's to come (from what I can tell from the character thread) and it gives Iris a good backstory. Remus' characterisation seems good, and Anne seems quite vivacious - I hope it's a family trait! However, I do have a few nitpicks. Firstly, growing up in a wizarding family, I don't think Anne would've read Winnie the Pooh. However, she may have read Beedle or Beatrix Bloxam (although I don't think she would've enjoyed Bloxams sickly sweet 'Toadstool Tales') (see a copy of Beedle to Bard for more info.). Secondly, I think that in the second paragraph, 'the 'fire spit out' should be 'the fire spat out' but that's just me being very very nitpicky.However, as i can't find anything else to nit-pick, i will be complimentary! :)
The naming thing is good, if slightly unoriginal, but the cottage setting is lovely. Anne's death, although a bit sad, is well written and of likely causes. you can really tell that Remus loved Anne even though Iris is Sirius' child.
This is really nice and I can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Thank you soooo much for reviewing! I've always had a thing for Pooh Bear and you'll understand a bit about the Potters after I finish writing a Marauder fic. I'm glad you liked it and the wait won't be too long.