Very well done! The sense of fear and urgency on James' part was perfectly captured. To me, this moment in their history is when James finally shed his blind faith in Sirius, and had to act on what he knew was right. Obviously they get past it, but with your last line, it's clear what James is feeling at the time. Beautifully done, would love to see more.
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I think this, plus the Snape's Worst Memory incident are what changed James, but this incident is where he started seeing that Sirius wasn't quite as wonderful as he thought. Also, it made James think of other people - Snape and Remus - instead of himself and Sirius. Thank you so much for the review. ~Carole~
Great story! I felt for James as he was running to save Snape. I can imagine things happening just that way.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked the story ~Carole~
Carole, you always write these boys so well! I think James' birthday put me in a Marauder mood because I've been reading quite a bit lately so this was a great read.
Sirius fears nothing - not even death - whereas Peter fears far too much, and that makes him the far safer bet.
Guh that is just so right. I loved the way you contrasted all the characters here in so few words, showing the inherent differences between them. I felt myself nodding along, especially at that line. And the final line, with its allusion to the Fidelius Charm that will be James' downfall was rather poignant and sad. Great fic, Carole.
Author's Response: For some reason I've been staring at this review since you left it, Julz, and haven't been able to think of a satisfactory response except ...
Thank you so very much for reading, enjoying and for reviewing. It means a great deal that you enjoyed the story.
Carole, please continue writing these four gits and one twat. I always want more, even if this is not the typical happy ME story. You just write them so bloody well.
I don't have any crit to offer, and it'd be wrong to say I enjoyed reading this. It's a great fic, though, because it is a perfect rendition of that notorious incident.
I love your title. Says so much about James.
Also, this may have given me a plot bunny...
Author's Response: Yay, for the plot bunny. I might have to write something aftermath-ish, actually, just not sure what as Lions starts a few months after this.
Thank you for the review, it is much appreciated. I'm wondering who the 'twat' is? Merkin forfend you don't mean Dumbles!?
I wrote most of this about three years ago, so it's pretty ropey in places, but I liked the overall feel of it. And Prongsie needed his hero moment.
Thank youuuuuuuuu (and get on with that plot bunny) ~Carole~
Oh, I enjoyed that! You're just brilliant on the Marauders. I especially liked your insight that James realized that Severus was not a coward in order to go after him. I wonder why James knew about Severus' bravery (the answer to that might make another good story). May I put in a request for another few chapters in Apparently Asleep? Thanks!
Author's Response: I do like writing the Marauders, I just get distracted by Next Gen far too much. Regarding Snape's bravery, I think James just knew his enemy, and knew his curiousity because he was always following them around. (Sirius says as much in POA and Lily mentions it in The Prince's Tale)
I'm actually writing Lions of Gryffindor at the moment, and know I've been very slack with AA, but I get so easily distracted with other stories *sigh*
Thank you ~Carole~
Brill as per usual! And the last paragraph sort of helped me comprehend why James would've trusted any of those 3, despite the irony. Realistic too, even the bit where Dumbledore seems to appear out of nowhere, as you explained everything well.
Author's Response: I figured Sirius -in the end - would realise his error and now be concerned that James was also in danger which is what would spur him to go to Dumbledore.
Thank you so much for the review - Carole-
Oh, I love this! A wonder birthday celebration. I think the last line is just perfect- even foreshadows a bit. :D
Author's Response: Thank you very much. That last paragraph is generally foreshadowing, although I think it's James thinking that Peter is the safer bet that makes it more ironic.
Glad you enjoyed it. ~Carole~
That was fantastic. Seriously, did you write this today or had you prepared it earlier? You don't have to answer that, lol. I'm just so impressed and envious either way. The present tense is very effective, as is (of course) James point of view. You really nailed his reaction, it was very emotional. I also thought Sirius's reaction was perfect, as was Peter's. And Snape! Ugh, Snape! But he was dead-on with his Remus-curiousity and his Potter-resentmen and that deep hatred of Sirius we see in PoA. And then the end, when James turns to Peter and not Sirius - guh! I hate thinking that something broke them up. It's so nice to think they were best friends without any troubles, but this had to have caused a rift. It had to. They must have got over it, since Sirius was best man at his wedding and godson to Harry, but I bet it was hard for a bunch of 16-year-old kids to go through something like this. And you captured that well. And Dumbledore's one paragraph appearance leant it a gravitas that really cemented just how serious this incident must have been. So good I only might have wanted more, somehow (don't you hate it when reviewers say that? True though.) Wonderful job!!
Author's Response: Thank youuuuuu.
Yes, I just sat down and wrote it!!! Ah, Umbridge approaches 'I must not tell lies'. I wrote this about 3 years ago for the MWPP class, but expanded it last night so added around 200 words. I was trawling through all those unexpanded drabbles and so many were so so so bad, but this - I hope - captures that moment where James started to grow up and realise that Sirius wasn't always right.
I think there's a very definite fracture in their relationship at this point, but like Harry with Ron, they miss/need each other. SWM was a few months after this, and that's one reason why I see James going into that particularly nasty episode because he doesn't want to ruin things between them again.
Oh tarnation! there's a sequel about the aftermath going through my head now. ~Carole~
This is beautifully written, as always. I got this real sense of foreboding from the final line, 'But as Sirius catches his arm, James shakes him off and leans on Peter instead', was this intentionally foreshadowing future events? I'm intrigued, though I could be reading too deep.
James really got a chance to step up here, and you've managed to make a complex plot into a fic that flows perfectly, and has a simplicity that leaves you able to reflect on the power of James' (and Sirius') actions that night.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. Well, that last line wasn't exactly foreshadowing, but the one before - about Peter being the safer bet - was although heavily ironic. I do see this as one of the turning points in the Marauders' friendship. Remus, for instance, might not be quite as placatory as he usually is once he recovers. Of course they make up, but this was a serious incident, and not just a prank.
Thanks again for the review. ~Carole~