Wow. That was not how I expected the story to end! Or at least, not before they went down into the chamber. Very well-written story and the characters were fantastically created, particularly Salazar himself. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you very much. This was quite a hard story to write as I don't usually write dark stories, so I very much appreciate your kind words. ~Carole~
I don't usually read Founders' stories, but you being the writer- I decided to check this out, and I'm not disappointed. Brilliantly captured.
Author's Response: Thank you! I hadn't written a Founder's era before and probably won't again, but for some reason wanted to get this written. Glad you enjoyed it. ~Carole~
This was so fab! I'm sorry I didn't review every chapter, but I was far too intrigued to pause in between. Firstly, yay to Founders slash :D I don't think I've ever come across Godric/Salazar, but I can definitely see it happening, especially after reading this fic.
And I love Aodhan. I think his name is wonderful, but more than that, his character is so very interesting and well-done. I can see how Salazar is attracted to him (he's rather sexy :P) and I think the ending was so sad for him, and it really highlighted how cruel Salazar was.
I'm probably missing things, but a couple of other aspects of the story that I loved were the creation of the Sorting Hat -- genius :D -- and the whole thing with the Basilisk. They were just excellently plotted, so well done there.
I never would have thought this was your first Founders fic, Carole, because you made it look effortless. Seriously, great story. I really enjoyed it. :)
Author's Response: Thank youuuuuuuu! I was rather pleased with the end result and may try other Founders fics in the future because although they're scary, I liked the challenge.
I did research the Sorting hat and the Basilisk as much as I could and then filled in some bits of my own. The hat, for instance, had to be able to use Legilimancy, and I figured that was quite a Slytherin type of skill (although I know Dumbles mastered it as well). The Basilisk is odd, though. It seems kind of arbitary how it's created *sigh*, but never mind. I suppose a lot of them die when they hear the cockeral's crowing.
Thank you, again. ~Carole~
I didn't expect there to be this much slash... :
Author's Response: It's Professors. It has two warnings - Sexual Situations and Slash. What did you expect? Holding hands and a gentle peck on the cheek?
WHAT A RIDE!!
Oh oh oh I was sitting on the edge of my seat the entire last chapter. Brilliant pacing and suspense. I kept going back and forth between a "Noooo!" and "Whew" and then "Uh-oh" and "Nooooo!" and finally "WHOA." I mean, it was just brilliantly played, best chapter by far.
Introducing the basilisk was a great touch, especially given the chapter title. Loved how you brought in the chamber too. I also love the idea that there was something between Salazar and Godric that contributed to their falling out almost as much as the Hat did. I just adds yet another layer to his sense of betrayal and I almost - ALMOST - feel a bit for him, if his determination to teach only purebloods weren't so revolting.
Um, what else? Just brilliantly done. I loved reading this. Glad I read it at home this time. ;) You did a great job with this era. Good luck in the challenge!
Author's Response: Thank youuuu. I wasn't sure about writing this era as I've never done it and am not particularly interested, to tell you the truth, but for some reason this story hammered away at me. I'm pleased you thought the tension held up well because I chopped around with the chapters rather a lot. Thanks again ~Carole~
Ooooo....Salazar really is nasty,isn't he... But it was kind of him to kill Aodhan while he was distracted. Aodhan was an innocent in the end, because Salazar changed him. And I sort of feel sorry for 'manipulative' Edana, losing her brother.
I think that one of the best things about your writing is the way you weave in little details to add to how believable it is. In this fic, it was Rowena and Helena travelling to Albania. The breeding of the Basilisk was good too, as it offered a different explanation. I'd always assumed that (much like Norbert) it had been brought to Hogwarts as an egg from abroad when Salazar was on his travels.
A bit sad that this is finished now, as I was getting a bit attached to your characters and the whole story in general. Please write more of this era as you are as good at it as all the others! ;)
Author's Response: OOOH, thank you. I really wasn't sure about writing this era because I hadn' before and don;t tend to read Founders era or historical, but for some reason this story wormed its way into my brain.
The Basilisk hatching: well, a Basilisk is born when a hens egg is hatched by a toad, so that's why I included that. I figured hen's eggs didn;t take that long to hatch, and this was a simple way for Salazar of breeding his revenge.
Thank you for following the fic. Greatly appreciated. ~Carole~
Hehehe... very sneaky...
I love Edana; she seemed a little bit gullible to begin with too, but as we see more of her we see that she is as powerful as Helga or Rowena. I liked that she was a Legilimens, but it didn't seem like she needed it at all, as I can picture her brother pouring his heart out to her anyway.
Salazar is certainly as cunning as is said. I wonder what he has up his sleeve...(although having read Gina's review I have a good idea...)
Author's Response: Edana is EVILLLL - actually she's not evil, but she's certainly as manipulative as Salazar. Thank you very much for the review. I have one more chapter to go, and then you will see Salazar's 'plans' Mwahahahaha ~Carole~
I thought there would be more to Edana! That was a nice twist, both her Legilimency and her plotting about the hat. So how exactly did the other three get around what Salazar contributed? It's good they did: the Hat was right about three against one, and Salazar wanting to create a school for just purebloods is utterly ridiculous. It wouldn't have lasted because pureblood wizards would have died out without marrying Muggleborns (um, I think, lol - I'm no genetic scientist)
Anyway-now you've got me wondering about and worried for Aodhan. I probably shouldn't have read this out in public (I think I've done that with your stories before and you'd think I would have learned!) but fortunately no one was looking over my shoulder and my bp was fine, lol The smut intertwined with the interrogation was really well done.
What's really neat about this is that you've given Salazar a very human reason for what we know is coming: he's been betrayed. He's seems an arrogant pra,t but anyone can relate to betrayalt. It might not excuse leaving a basilisk under the castle to gobble up Muggleborns, but it's a powerful driving force, and it's cool to see depth to these characters who we really only know as Chocolate Frog cards.
Great smutty/dramatic chapter!
Author's Response: Weeeellllll, Mmm, I wasn;t sure it was entirely clear. Salazar thought that if the brains/thoughts combined, then as he was going to say 'Only Purebloods' and also that Helga would say 'Anyone' that his mind would overcome hers - or there would be a stalemate. But ... with Occlumency being used to separate the thoughts in the hat, and the other two founders also saying they'd teach anyone, Salazar's thoughts wouldn't override them. Hope this makes sense. It did in my head - ha ha.
I'm going to nag the mods to add a 'NSFGAD' warning - which is a Not Safe For Gina At Doctors' alert especially for you. heh heh.
Thank you very much for reviewing :) ~Carole~
I did not see that coming! Well, okay, so maybe I did think Salazar was setting his sights on Aodhan, but I did not think Aodhan would end up seducing him quite like that! There is more to him, I think - which makes me wonder about Edana as well. Hm. Anyway, it was nice to see Salazar taken down a notch, so to speak. Also, I loved the stuff with the Hat, it's brilliant. So you've got all sorts of plotting going on here! But I really do want to see what Aodhan wants from Salazar, and how Godric reacts...
Author's Response: MWAhahahahahahahah- yeah, glad you were fooled by Aodhan. Hes not quite as inn-o-cent as you were first led to believe. And Edana ... well ... she's there in it ... somewhere.
Thank you very much for the review. This is all complete, bar a few tweaks, so it should be up very soon. ~Carole~
Well that was unexpected. Aodhan is not as weak and vulnerable as he seemed then...
Looking forward to the wedding scene...*dramatic scene plays out inside head*
Author's Response: No, not vulnerable at all .... Thank youuuuuuuuuu heh heh heh. ~Carole~
Good start, Carole! What really struck me was how in-time this felt. Your whole style, from the sentences to your vocabulary, changed to make it feel more like the time of the Founders. Sometimes Founders' fics feel too modern and that ruins them, but this was spot-on.
Nice twist on Rowena being a bit snobby, even if I am disappointed in my house's founder. It makes sense, though. And Helga was perfect.
It will be interesting to see where things go between Godric and Salazar. For some reason, I already hope that the girl is not hurt in the process. And who is this Aodhan? How will he figure in it? Also, how do you pronounce his name? (That one I would like an answer for, the other two are just me musing out loud, lol)
Anyway, good luck as you continue! And may you garner loads of reviews! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Helloooooo, Thank you for the review. Ohhhh, the girl, well let me seeeeeeee... Nah, won't ruin it for you. Sorry about Rowena, but I kind of think she would be snobby - based on what we know from canon she was certainly very proud and seemed to prize intelligence and her tiara more highly than her daughter.
Aodhan's name is pronounced 'Aidan' - it's the Irish/Celt spelling :)
I'm glad you like the style of this and it doesn't feel too modern. I had to rewrite at various points, taking out the mentions of ipads - I jest - ha ha - but I did have to watch the language, a little, especially references to marriage and sex - hee.
Yay, medieval slash!;)
That was a great opening, you really draw the reader in from the first sentence. I honestly don't find anything wrong with this, you seem very comfortable with this style. I really love the dynamics you portrayed between the founders and like the previous reviewer, I hope to see more of that in the next chapter-s.
I wouldn't really change anything about it, though I might have given a bit more punch to Salazar's reaction to Godric's sudden engagement. If they had been lovers, I think Salazar would perhaps be a bit more shaken/upset by the news? It's very Slytherin to go right to the scheming though, so maybe I'm just not Slytherin enough.
I'm very much looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review; it made my day. I think my unease stems from the fact that I know very little about medieval Scotland and also I am having to write virtual OCs. But the story took hold - ha ha.
Regarding Salazar's reaction to the news. I hope it becomes clearer in the next chapters, but it's not so much an attachment he feels to Godric more that he knows how to manipulate him by using sex because Godric is more repressed, having this 'chivalry and parfait knight' image to live up to. His reaction is telling because although he flees the room and stumbles on the steps, he immediately starts plotting when he sees Aodhan.
Thank you very much, again. ~Carole~
This is sounding very very interesting. I'm hooked and I want to know what happens next, but I guess I'll just have to be patient, won't I?
I really like that you've given Salazar a little bit of leeway in Helga wanting to disband the houses, and now Godric getting married. It must be quite a big blow and you can sort of see that he's going through a bit of a tough time.
The character relationships are very interesting and I hope for them to be explored further in subsequent chapters. I especially like how Rowena gave a rather diplomatic response, as it shows that the Founders were not as one-sided as they are often represented, and I think that you will portray them well in a different light.
Aodhan has also been developed well. Founder Era must be different to write, as you will almost always need to create OCs. I think that Aodhan seems a bit naive at the moment, but I reckon this will change soon, or at least if I get what Salazar is on about...
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. It means a great deal that you appreciated this story. My problem, I think with Founders, isn't so much the OC aspect but the era, language and my lack of knowledge. HA! But google is a great help.
This is from Salazar's POV, so he will see the others in a biased light, but yes, I didn;t want it to be a straight SalazarV The Others battle because I don't think the other houses are automatically GOOD, just as not all Slytherins are automatically EVIL. Um, sorry, wittering on there - ha.
The story is completed, and all chapters submitted by the challenge deadline (April 31st) so you won;t have to be too patient. Thanks again. ~Carole~