I loved this so much! Exactly as imagined it in my head, and really well written :)
Oh Luna. I love her strange optimistic views, and I could only help but think that she was able to pull Dean and Ollivander and even Griphook through the tough times down in that awful cellar. A really nice poem. The way that so few words can always capture emotion is a magic within itself. ;)
Author's Response: I love Luna. And I love you!
I loved it! What really jumped out at me were the Luna bits that rhymed. For some reason, that made is so very Luna. And it changed the tone from one of despair at the beginning to one of hope at the end. I absolutely believe what you've said about Luna bringing him back from the brink and befuddling him at the same time. Lovely poem!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review, Gina! I appreciate it. Also, very pleased you liked it. :)
Ohhhh, okay, I did sort of go 'in' a little when I saw it was 307 words long because I am someone who can read a haiku and think - 'hey, that's long' - ha ha. However, this doesn't read as long because there is such a good story going on here.
The characters you've used here are written so well, and you paint such an accurate picture of life in that cell. Ollivander in despair and Luna never giving up. It's not her determination, exactly, it's just who she is. I can't imagine her ever despairing. She has no real fear of death, after all. Anyway, I loved this relationship between them, and you really caught her voice in this piece.Especially when she's listing the weird creatures in an almost interrogoratory manner, although we know it's her way of keeping up his spirits - just as she reassures Harry that things will be all right in OOTP, and again when her, Ernie and Seamus cast Patroni when he can't manage them and she's exorting him not to give up. (I think I've just realised that old Luna isn't as annoying after all - ooops)
I very much liked the structure of this. You have what appears to be free verse, and yet there are loose rhymes and para rhymes at some point and a poem that flows. Luna's liturgy that he reels off, reads like a mantra and I could tell he'd taken it all in and was using it to help him survive.
Finally ... that last stanza. Olivander's faint nod and his words to her .... just ... amazing and I gently smiled at that point. Perfect end to a fantastic poem. Well done. ~Carole~
Author's Response: I know. I kind of tend to avoid long poems as well. BUT yay for you reading it anyway :DI agree about Luna. She's just so matter-of-fact and untroubled I can't help but deeply admire her. And although I don't know how successfully I managed to write how she could have cheered up Ollivander in the Manor, this is the gist of what I feel could have happened.Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)