MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: clibin009 (Signed) · Date: 05/16/16 3:16 · For: Prologue

In burberry outlet online the ralph lauren polo shade air jordan of the longchamp house, hollister clothing store in the oakley sunglasses sunshine cheap nike shoes of polo outlet the louis vuitton outlet riverbank michael kors outlet near the boats, in the coach outlet shade baseball bats of ray ban uk the ralph lauren outlet Sal-wood oakley forest, nike free run in ugg soldes the shade moncler jackets of the jordan 11 fig instyler tree is where Siddhartha cheap oakley sunglasses grew up, the hogan sito ufficiale handsome uggs on sale son of louis vuitton outlet stores the ugg Brahman, the young michaelkors-outlet-store falcon, ugg boots clearance together with iphone case his oakley sunglasses cheap friend louboutin pas cher Govinda, nike roshe son christian louboutin of a louis vuitton outlet Brahman. louboutin The tn pas cher sun tanned his jordan retro light ugg outlet shoulders canada goose by gucci shoes the herve leger banks of bottes ugg the reebok outlet river when lululemon canada bathing, michael kors outlet online performing hollister canada the nike roshe sacred gucci belts ablutions, oakley sunglasses wholesale the nike shoes sacred coach factory offerings. In cheap oakley sunglasses the mango p90x grove, ferragamo shoes shade true religion poured into nike roshe run his nike tn pas cher black eyes, when playing as ugg pas cher a michael kors outlet online sale boy, ugg boots when nike free run his abercrombie mother sang, jordan 4 when jordans the sacred karen millen uk offerings christian louboutin were canada goose jackets made, when toms shoes his father, the scholar, nike factory outlet taught him, michael kors outlet online when the wise men talked. For longchamp pas cher a long nike air max 2015 time, Siddhartha moncler jackets had michael kors bags been partaking gucci bags in oakley pas cher the doudoune moncler discussions barbour outlet of canada goose the nike free run wise men, practising red bottom shoes debate with nike air max Govinda, practising michael kors with toms outlet Govinda the art uggs of lancel reflection, fake oakleys the nike blazer pas cher service air jordan pas cher of nike air max meditation. chanel handbags He canada goose outlet already louboutin knew true religion jeans how coach outlet store online to speak the fake rolex Om silently, the word ugg uk of jordan shoes words, to new balance speak cheap oakley sunglasses it michael kors silently into himself while ray ban inhaling, jimmy choo outlet to phone cases speak cheap nfl jerseys it christian louboutin silently coach outlet out of jerseys himself while ugg outlet exhaling, with oakley vault all ugg boots the uggs concentration nike blazer of oakley vault his louis vuitton purses soul, the forehead nike air max surrounded by air max the glow ugg boots of longchamp outlet online the true religion outlet clear-thinking coach bags spirit. michael kors outlet He kate spade handbags already knew supra shoes to abercrombie feel Atman in the depths prada handbags of his vans being, barbour jackets uk indestructible, iphone cases one replica watches with the universe.

But more than all michael kors outlet the others he was oakley sunglasses loved louis vuitton by Govinda, instyler ionic styler his oakley sunglasses cheap friend, the christian louboutin uk son sac michael kors of jordan 1 a ugg boots clearance Brahman. nike trainers He loved louis vuitton outlet online Siddhartha's karen millen eye ugg boots uk and michael kors outlet sweet voice, mont blanc he loved north face uk his timberland pas cher walk michael kors outlet and vanessa bruno pas cher the scarpe hogan perfect decency nike outlet store of lululemon outlet his north face jackets movements, true religion jeans he discount oakley sunglasses loved longchamp outlet online everything air max Siddhartha polo ralph lauren outlet did and said coach factory outlet and hermes pas cher what he ray ban sunglasses loved valentino shoes most was ugg boots his babyliss pro spirit, nike trainers uk his jordan 6 transcendent, nike store fiery ugg boots thoughts, his sac burberry ardent ray ban sunglasses will, his nike free run uk high calling. oakleysunglasses1.us.com Govinda burberry knew: he michael kors bags would pandora jewelry not hermes bags become a longchamp bags common Brahman, nike roshe run not tory burch outlet online a lazy hollister clothing official hollister in ralph lauren outlet charge louis vuitton of offerings; longchamp outlet online not ugg boots clearance a oakley outlet greedy longchamp bags merchant louis vuitton bags with pandora charms magic spells; not michael kors a ray ban pas cher vain, michael kors outlet online sale vacuous speaker; ugg not a mean, lululemon outlet deceitful abercrombie priest; replica watches and mac cosmetics also michael kors outlet online sale not new balance outlet a uggs decent, air jordan retro stupid sheep in the herd of the many. uggs on sale No, cheap oakley and cheap gucci he, bottes ugg pas cher Govinda, ray ban sunglasses outlet as rolex replica watches well converse did not hollister want moncler pas cher to become one moncler outlet of coach purses those, oakley store not michael kors handbags one uggs canada of oakley sunglasses those coach outlet online tens of lululemon thousands of Brahmans. He wanted to follow Siddhartha, the beloved, michael kors the canada goose splendid. nike air max And in days louis vuitton to michael kors handbags clearance come, when swarovski jewelry Siddhartha burberry pas cher would air max become new balance shoes a hollister god, pandora uk when tiffany and co he barbour would ugg soldes join the michael kors outlet glorious, mulberry uk then moncler Govinda nike air max uk wanted to moncler outlet follow michael kors pas cher him as ugg italia his friend, his companion, his servant, converse his jordan pas cher spear-carrier, longchamp his shadow.

But sac louis vuitton pas cher he, Siddhartha, mulberry bags was louis vuitton not a source of joy true religion outlet for ray ban sunglasses himself, air jordan he michael kors outlet canada found no coach outlet delight louboutin uk in polo ralph lauren outlet himself. timberland boots Walking timberland the moncler outlet rosy moncler paths north face pas cher of the marc jacobs handbags fig ugg pas cher tree longchamp outlet garden, hogan sitting prada outlet in the bluish shade celine bags of the grove longchamp handbags of air jordan 11 contemplation, washing jordan 5 his oakley glasses limbs jordan retro 11 daily michael jordan shoes in the kate spade outlet online bath of repentance, sacrificing beats by dre in cheap oakley the dim shade north face outlet of the moncler mango uggs on sale forest, his lunette ray ban pas cher gestures pandora charms of perfect oakley vault decency, everyone's love and joy, jimmy choo shoes he longchamp still lacked north face outlet all longchamp uk joy ugg in cheap uggs his heart. michael kors outlet online sale Dreams ralph lauren and restless lululemon outlet online thoughts abercrombie came montre femme into ugg outlet his bottes ugg pas cher mind, flowing from uggs outlet the sunglasses outlet water cheap sunglasses of the river, sac louis vuitton sparkling lacoste pas cher from louis vuitton handbags the longchamp stars of giuseppe zanotti the nike outlet night, replica watches uk melting barbour from the michael kors outlet online beams louis vuitton outlet of the louboutin outlet sun, cheap oakley sunglasses dreams burberry outlet online came uggs to longchamp pas cher him and a restlessness air max 2015 of the soul, http://www.michaelkors-outlet-store.us.com/ fuming from nike air max the sacrifices, breathing forth nike factory from the verses uggs of the Rig-Veda, nike air huarache being infused into uggs outlet him, drop michael kors by drop, rolex watches for sale from the teachings louis vuitton of asics running shoes the p90x workout old Brahmans.

Siddhartha ugg australia had moncler jackets started ralph lauren to nurse vans pas cher discontent in himself, he louis vuitton had started to rolex replica feel jimmy choo that nike air force the love of moncler his father and louboutin outlet the louis vuitton uk love the north face of his rolex watch mother, and pandora jewelry also louis vuitton outlet the north face jackets love of cheap ugg boots his nike tn friend, nike huarache Govinda, wedding dresses would not bring michael kors him michael kors outlet online joy for ever juicy couture and nike air max 2015 ever, michael kors handbags would not ralph lauren nurse him, feed him, air jordans satisfy him. He had started ferragamo belts to suspect uggs outlet that his lululemon outlet canada venerable nike free run pas cher father and his north face jackets other teachers, coach outlet that the wise Brahmans burberry had already revealed to jordans for sale him the ghd hair straighteners most sac lancel and vans shoes best of their wisdom, that they had already filled longchamp his nike free expecting juicy couture outlet vessel burberry outlet with mulberry handbags their polo ralph lauren richness, and the vessel was not full, the burberry sale spirit mont blanc pens was not content, nfl jerseys the soul rolex watches was true religion jeans not michael kors outlet calm, tiffany jewelry the wedding dress heart sac hermes was canada goose outlet not satisfied. The ablutions were good, coach outlet store online but they were louis vuitton pas cher water, vans scarpe they louboutin did not moncler sito ufficiale wash off uggs outlet the sin, cheap ugg boots outlet they soccer shoes did not abercrombie and fitch uk heal the kate spade spirit's canada goose uk thirst, hermes birkin they louis vuitton did canada goose not thomas sabo uk relieve the oakley vault fear cheap jordans in hollister his louboutin heart. polo ralph lauren The polo lacoste sacrifices ugg and the sac louis vuitton invocation oakley sunglasses outlet of barbour jackets the gods new jordans were lululemon excellent”but was ray ban that all? louboutin shoes Did michael kors canada the sacrifices true religion outlet give tory burch outlet a nike sneakers happy nike air max pas cher fortune? And north face what lancel pas cher about air max the gods? swarovski crystal Was gucci handbags it really polo ralph lauren Prajapati christian louboutin who longchamp bags had created north face the retro jordans world? michael kors outlet online Was it hollister uk not polo lacoste pas cher the Atman, He, oakley sale the only one, michael kors outlet online the singular one? Were air max the gods nike roshe run uk not hollister creations, babyliss created like me louis vuitton outlet online and abercrombie and fitch you, michael kors handbags subject barbour jackets to nike air max uk time, mortal? replica watches Was asics shoes it therefore uggs good, polo ralph lauren was it right, was canada goose outlet it michael kors outlet online meaningful vans and nike roshe the p90x3 highest wedding dresses occupation to hollister make burberry outlet offerings louboutin shoes to nike roshe uk the gods? For ray ban outlet whom else vans outlet were wedding dresses uk offerings to be made, nike roshe run who else nike air max was louis vuitton to michael kors handbags be polo ralph lauren uk worshipped but north face outlet Him, mcm handbags the coach outlet store only michael kors outlet one, the sac vanessa bruno Atman? true religion jeans And where hermes handbags was burberry handbags Atman to jordan future be found, north face outlet online where jordan 3 did birkin bag He oakley sunglasses reside, where burberry did his eternal nike free uk heart beat, thomas sabo where sac longchamp pas cher else replica rolex but michael kors purses in hogan outlet one's own hollister pas cher self, air max in its bottega veneta innermost ugg part, in its air huarache indestructible abercrombie and fitch part, bottes ugg which christian louboutin outlet everyone moncler had michael kors uk in replica handbags himself? abercrombie and fitch But canada goose jackets where, mulberry outlet where was ray ban sunglasses this links of london uk self, uggs this innermost polo ralph lauren outlet online part, moncler this christian louboutin outlet ultimate longchamp outlet part? canada goose outlet It longchamp soldes was new balance not flesh chaussures louboutin and nike roshe run pas cher bone, air max pas cher it was nike huaraches neither marc jacobs thought nor vanessa bruno consciousness, thus www.michaelkors-outlet-store.us.com the swarovski wisest gucci outlet ones ghd taught. kate spade outlet So, where, where was it? converse pas cher To ray ban reach oakley sunglasses cheap this beats headphones place, ugg boots the self, myself, roshe run pas cher the new balance pas cher Atman, jordan 12 there louis vuitton handbags was another christian louboutin shoes way, which hermes belt was michaelkors-outlet-store.us.com worthwhile hermes looking oakley for? Alas, christian louboutin shoes and canada goose nobody gucci showed rolex watches this tiffany and co way, reebok shoes nobody ralph lauren outlet knew it, air jordan shoes not ralph lauren pas cher the mulberry father, and canada goose jackets not the teachers michael kors and nike free wise men, longchamp handbags not tory burch the holy air force sacrificial ralph lauren uk songs! moncler They insanity workout knew coach handbags everything, swarovski uk the converse shoes Brahmans burberry factory outlet and gucci outlet online their barbour uk holy books, they polo ralph lauren pas cher knew soccer jerseys everything, they had taken michael kors care of prada shoes everything polo ralph lauren outlet and moncler of chi flat iron more than montre homme everything, jordan xx9 the creation of nike free the world, the north face the origin of air max 2015 speech, longchamp pliage of sac longchamp food, doudoune canada goose of inhaling, of louboutin exhaling, the moncler outlet arrangement air max of the ralph lauren outlet online senses, tiffany jewelry the celine handbags acts of the lunette oakley pas cher gods, moncler uk they knew abercrombie infinitely much”but sac guess was it ghd hair valuable montre pas cher to know true religion outlet all louboutin of canada goose outlet this, not canada goose jackets knowing michael kors canada that ghd straighteners one longchamp outlet and canada goose only uggs outlet thing, the canada goose pas cher most michael kors important thing, links of london the louis vuitton canada solely nike free pas cher important guess pas cher thing?

nike air max

Name: lzm001 (Signed) · Date: 04/25/16 3:03 · For: Prologue
coach handbags
nike run
tiffany co
nike australia
TRX Workout
christian louboutin shop
pirate system
Salomon Shoes
prada bags
Lebron 13
Burberry Outlet
air jordan nike
oakley australia
Oakley Outlet
pandora bracelets
burberry australia
basketball shoes
chanel flap bag
clk benz
Kate Spade Australia
gucci online
MCM Outlet
Ralph Lauren UK
TRX Straps
yeezy shoes
asics shoe
gucci bags
michael kors outlet
kate spade uk
louis vuitton australia
louis vuitton australia
burberry outlet
louis vuitton watllets
gucci diaper bag
sunglasses on sale
nike free danmark
burberry bags on sale
louis vuitton neverfull
longchamp sale
kate spade uk
burberry online
birkin bag hermes
michael kors crossbody
michael kors handbags on sale
trx workouts
trx for sale
Hermes Outlet
hermes birkin price
Michael Kors Outlet
coach purses
jimmy choo australia
longchamp bags
coach shoes
prada messenger bag
Ralph Lauren Polo
louis vuitton bags
michael kors satchel
balenciag bag
Burberry outlet online
gucci sunglasses
louboutin shoes
timberland boots uk
mizuno wave
coach usa
ugg boots
fendi outlet
free shoes
prada crossbody bags
asics shoes
oakley sunglasses
mcm tote bag
nike free run
nike sweden
burberry outlet uk
louis vuitton monogram
nike shop us
louis vuitton artsy
ralph lauren polo
burberry uk
coach bags
air jordan retro
pandora rings
Ralph Lauren
pandora necklack
chanel bags prices
Ralph Lauren Shirts
louis vuitton zippy wallet
coach outlet store
louboutin shoes
abercrombie fitch france
free nike
louis vuitton tote bag
louis vuitton handbags on sale
Ralph Lauren Polo
michael kors black handbags
true religion uk
asics shop
nike air jordan
Chanel Outlet
canada goose outlet
longchamp le pliage large tote
louis vuitotn speedy
Burberry bags
nike shoes
louis vuitton outlet
Nike Kobe 9
trx workouts
jordan retro shoes
adidas super star
longchamp le pliage medium
trx straps
nike air jordan
market 365
michael kors purses
chanel tote
michael kors canada
MCM Bags
michael kors bags on sale
pandora jewelry
louis vuitton messenger bag
nike norway
nike jordan shoes
louis vuitton eva clutch
louis vuitton uk
prada tote
prada handbags
michael kors tote
true religion jeans
christian louboutin shoes
louis vuitton artsy
louis vuitton duffle bag
coach crossbody bags
jordan retro
sheepskin boots
hermes bag
louis vuitton
Kate Spade Australia
coach bags on sale
Ralph Lauren
burberry britain
hermes outlet
Coach outlet online
hermes uk
burberry london
louis vuitton wallet for women
Prada Outlet
abercrombie and fitch
michael kors factory outlet
nike danmark
TRX Workouts
gucci belt
yeezy boost 350
prada handbags sale
louis vuitton damier
gucci clutch
coach carter
Ralph Lauren UK
burberry outlet online
Nike Hyperdunk 2015
ugg boots
nike all
Pandora bracelet
popular sunglasses
prada outlet
Oakley holbrook sunglasses
hugo boss uk
prada shoes
abssice 360
led lights
michael kors hamilton tote
prada handbags
trx suspension
louis vuitton purses
louis vuitton perfect
burberry outlet
michael kors tote
burberry australia
gucci online
TRX Bands
gucci handbags
nike air max
cheap gucci belts
Michael Kors Outlet
ugg boots
nike shopping
Mens Sunglasses
michael kors outlet store
louis vuitton bags
ugg australia
TRX Exercises
Longchamp Outlet
louis vuitton outlet
cheap louis vuitton purses
Ray Ban Outlet
KD 8 shoes
abercrombie and fitch
louis vuitton bags
asics running shoes
ugg boots ireland
yeezy boost 350
nike air
michael kors purses
coach purses on sale
nike online
michael kors black purse
prada bags
coach outlet
michael kors clutch
gucci bags
burberry wallet
michael kors hobo bag
ugg boots
louboutin heels
chanel australia
salomon shoes
hugo boss uk
primark online uk
tiffany co
mizuno shoes
louis vuitton online
abercrombie fitch nederland
trx exercise
michael kors australia
kate spade
coach online
louis vuitton belt
10 dollars
louis vuitton neverfull mm
abercrombie outlet online
nike jordan
michael kors purses outlet
nike show
abercrombie and fitch outlet
trx suspension
Ray Ban wayfarer sunglasses
asics gel kayano
asics shoes
louis vuitton belts
hermes belt
louis vuitotn speedy
prada loafers
michael kors handbags
louis vuitotn speedy
hermes birkin uk
oakley sunglasses
mcm bags
hugo boss
ugg boots uk
longchamp tote
nike air shoes
gucci handbags
louis vuitton diaper bag
pandora charms
christian louboutin shoes
nike shoes
nike air
ray-ban sunglasses
abercrombie milano
oakley sunglasses
change points uk
ugg uk
prada purses
titan watches
ray-ban sunglasses
gucci backpack
cheap michael kors purses
longchamp bag
louis vuitton shoulder bag
coach outlet
gucci shoes
christian louboutin online
longchamp backpack
coach australia
coach australia
cheap michael kors handbags
ugg boots
burberry outlet online
ray-ban sunglasses
burberry outlet
outlet michael kors
Michael Kors Watches
michael kors canada
nike free run sko2
Polo Ralph Lauren
Cheap Ray Ban
mizuno shop
louis vuitton uk
louis vuitton uk
Burberry online
lebron james shoes
ugg boots for women
michael kors australia
paul smith uk
louis vuitton uk
air jordan shoes
TRX Training
louis vuitton outlet
black uggs
michael kors outlet
Polo Ralph Lauren
michael kors tote bags
coach sunglasses
louis vuitton shoes men
hermes purses
yeezy boost 350
pandora ring
pandora bracelet
nike year
Pandora Charm

Name: majestic_ginny (Signed) · Date: 02/15/13 2:03 · For: Prologue
I’ve wanted to read this for quite a while now, and I’ve finally managed the time to go through this. I’m glad I did, Jamie, because so far this is wonderful.

I loved how your first chapter started directly with a mission. It sets up the pace directly from the beginning, without unnecessary information about anything else. Your first line itself managed to establish a scene, and we know what to visualise all throughout regarding the weather. It also manages to build up suspense from the start, as the reader starts to wonder what on earth Neville’s doing in such conditions. It makes me want to read the rest of the chapter.

The use of short or medium paragraphs was a good idea, for it stops the story from becoming monotonous or dull. I’m personally not a fan of giant paragraphs, so I’m glad your ones were concise and to the point. The descriptions you’ve added are very vivid and help the reader to imagine what goes on. “Terrifyingly dangerous folly” is an interesting phrase, and it sums up their mission quite nicely! Furthermore, “dull roar” and “low growl” create a very daunting, horror-movie-type scenario that tends to make one more eager to read the story. I also liked your use of “powerful lupine form”. It was a very short yet accurate portrayal of a werewolf. Your descriptions, I’d say, is one of the strong points in all of your stories that make me want to read them over and over again, for visualization is an important aspect of a good story.

The plot you’ve started with is really exciting, too. We don’t usually see Neville around werewolves much, and the situation you’ve put them in is rather horrible. Taking out a pack of wolves alone can be quite… perilous, especially for only two Aurors. I felt really bad when Ballinger died -- poor man. I’m glad you didn’t draw out his death long enough, however, because the simple phrase “suddenly very dead body” leaves a much stronger impact on the reader due to its simple blatancy. I did like how Neville worked the rescue out, though. Taking two children at a time was a better idea than trying to lug five of them together. I did like his characterisation as well, for it is completely in sync with the Neville in Deathly Hallows -- trying to save whomever he can. It reminds me of that moment when he refused to cast a Cruciatus curse on the people who got detentions. Poor Neville, he did end up getting bitten in the end :(. I wonder what’s going to happen to him now.

Moving on, I like your introduction of the new Apparition rule: “He couldn't Apparate from within a magically expanded space, not if he wanted to keep all his organs where they were supposed to be.” Frankly, it does make sense, because since the area is physically expanded against the laws of traditional physics, Neville would be having to Apparate to a place with a different space-time continuum. Apparating between two different types of space may be a bad idea. You always have this knack for technicality in your stories, whether it is official documents or science, and this is one thing I enjoy about your writing :).

Now, I wonder why he’s going off to Hermione. This is something I have to see, so I’m off to read the next chapter now. Good job on this one! Can’t wait to see where this goes.


Name: saknicole (Signed) · Date: 01/31/13 19:49 · For: Necessary Conversations
I'm really falling in love with this story! The relationship between Hermione and Neville is so sweet. I can't wait to read more!

Name: Crazy about Draco Malfoy (Signed) · Date: 09/09/12 13:07 · For: Prologue
Wow fantastic story I love the way its portrays Ron and Hermione

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 09/08/12 3:20 · For: Necessary Conversations
All right then! Lots of stuff happening here. First off, is Neville a sleaze? Abusive? No. He's still Neville. But he does seem manipulative to me. Is he aware of being manipulative? I don't know. I doubt it. But he seems to be overreacting to Ron thinking he would sleep with Hermione. To me, Ron has more than every right to be the one who is angry and hurt, but Neville claims that prize instead and tries to make both of them feel guilty. Now, my guess would be that it's quite the defensive reaction on his part - he does like Hermione, he does want to kiss her - so he takes even greater offense at someone else thinking it. That makes sense to me, anyway - hope I'm not a thousand miles off, lol.

The bit about suggesting Ron and Hermione get counseling seemed off though. It seemed a more deliberate attempt at putting doubt in Ron and Hermione's marriage so he could have Hermione. Plus I wasn't sure why he really thought that, although I could have forgotten. Just because Ron thought Hermione was sleeping with Neville - most logical conclusion ever as far as I'm concerned - doesn't mean they need major counseling. And Hermione had to tell her husband what she was really doing, simple as that, he has to understand. But I know Neville is scared of people finding out, I do. I imagine that's a huge part of it as well. Which is why I think those bum reviews you've had aren't maybe reading close enough to see the layers that contribute to the character's motivations. And I think too that a person's life experience will really influence the way they read something like this. I know it is for me, especially these last two chapters. That said, whatever people say should still be said with thoughtful respect and not ignorant virulence. And since I can clearly see that you are doling out the clues that give us the reasons for the character's actions - learning R/H's backstory on the pregnancy and marriage, for example - I think readers need to remember the story is not finished.

Okay, so two more things.

I thought this was brilliant: "You'll do stupid shit, and I'll get angry. And then I'll do stupid shit, and you'll get angry. Then we'll apologise and forgive and everything will be okay again for a while. That's how it works." Yes yes yes. But you may have readers who don't see it that way because they view relationships differently. I loved those lines and thought it was perfectly Ron. :)

That said...I'm worried about Hermione having those thoughts at the end. I can't say I'll be happy if she acts on them. I think it's one of those things that may strike a chord with some people. I just can't relate to her in this situation so I can't really empathize yet. Obviously I can't relate to Neville as a werewolf either, so it gets even more tricky, lol. But that said, perhaps it's not your goal or your job to get me to relate or empathize or anything like that. Perhaps you are telling a story and leaving it up to the reader to bring their own experience to how they interpret and relate to it. And you do tell it well. I always enjoy reading your words. The page goes by so quickly, without a single nitpick over style or silly grammatical errors. It flows. It's confident. So don't let the negative reviews get you down: if there is something you can take from them to improve (without compromising the story you want to tell!), then take it. Otherwise leave the baggage behind. You've got a long journey ahead of you as a writer (don't you LOVE my metaphor! LOL)

That should do it. Hope that was a good balance. Happy to chat more, as always. *hugs*
~Gina :)

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 09/08/12 2:26 · For: Justified
The scrabble was a nice touch. How did Neville get so good at it? Especially good enough to beat Hermione? LOL That was well done, with Neville accepting things a bit more. But the real kicker here was Ron and Hermione. OF COURSE he would think she was seeing Neville. Merlin, how could he not. Maybe it's just my perspective, but I thought that was really the only way to play it. And Ron reacted really well, all things considered. It's a hard, hard thing to deal with, just the very thought of a spouse seeing someone else. Here's the thing, though: Hermione made a mistake and she knew it. I know I could never ever do what she did in helping Neville and NOT tell my husband. But she did so she has to deal with the consequences now. I thought it was very realistic. And the thing is, you are giving us little pieces, here and there, about why it's happened this way so I can believe it. Do i think Hermione was a bit stupid? Yes. But people make mistakes and so can she, especially with what you give us in the next chapter. So I'm off to review that next.
Oh, and Neville is not a sleaze. No idea where that came from. I thought it was a good chapter!
~Gina :)

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 05/27/12 1:13 · For: A New Skill Set
Oh, that is a super cool twist - the new skill set. This Evan kid is both tragic and worrying - the 'yet' makes me nervous, as does the fact that he knows what Neville is. The whole thing about his going alpha male even in human form was very cool. And of course Hermione was very lovely and level-headed about it. So of course Neville is going to end up under the shower trying to pound those feelings away. Poor guy. I think he needs to use some sort of Transfiguration Charm and go to a Werewolves Anonymous meeting and meet a lady wolf. Like, for real. Please give him some happiness /says the writer who also beats the snot out of her characters most of the time.
Enjoyed it! ~Gina :)

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 05/25/12 2:15 · For: Moonrise
Oh wow, that was so, so well done. It was just the right balance, really, of the macabre and the tragic and Hermione's usual bit of distance. I still think you're doing so great with both of their characters, but it was lovely to see some of their history mentioned here.
I think using Hermione's POV was the perfect way to go, because we got to experience her terror and helpnessless first, but still with such a great empathy for Neville. Merlin, you have really made me think of just how horrible it must have been for Remus (I do love the Marauders, as you might know, lol) Your research here was amazing, as usual.
I really liked the hint at the end of Hermione telling Ron, because I'd really like to see that. She's already lied and feels guilty and even though it's all for a good reason, it's still lying. I can't begin to imagine Ron's reaction, though, so I look forward to that...if you are planning it, of course. ;)
Hermione's right. Neville can do this. He'll survive, because you make him so brilliant. Good luck as you continue!
~Gina :)

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 05/04/12 19:48 · For: Honesty
I read this at lunch and now that I am at a proper cafe with wi-fi I can leave a review.
First of all, I liked it. Your writing is very tight and terrifically in character. I know you said you struggled with Ron, but I think you got both his good bits and his annoying bits down pretty well here. There is still a part of me that is thinking "Hermione! Just tell him!" I mean, she could even put him under a spell it he tells anyone, lol. But then his insensitivity to Neville's losing a partner clearly demonstrates that Ron probably couldn't deal. So it's going to get tricky for Hermione I think and I see all sorts of awkward situations that make me cringe when I'm watching a TV show and I just want the characters to be honest and figure out what is going on. LOL
Second of all, good luck with the transformation. You'll have a bit of pity on Neville, yeah? ;)
~Gina :)

Name: Padfoot11333 (Signed) · Date: 05/04/12 0:46 · For: Honesty
I like this chapter because it has a birthday and a wink.


Lily xxx

Author's Response: Wink.

Name: shewolf2000 (Signed) · Date: 05/03/12 13:54 · For: Honesty
I'm not usually into non-canon pairings, but I'm very much into Neville, very much into werewolves, and very much into your fic! I checked it out on a whim and now I find myself happily awaiting the next chapter. I especially like what you did with Hermione, adapting her to her changing roles as a wife and mother but still keeping her so very...Hermione :) Post chapter 4 soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! It always means a lot to me when I've "converted" someone who normally wouldn't read a non-canon pairing, and I hope to make it believable for you. Chapter 4 is on its way, worry not, and thank you so much for the review! :)

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 05/01/12 2:35 · For: Not Exactly a Lie
You've done a fantastic job of explaining why Neville would want to keep it secret - from his job to his name and inheritance. That was well done. And Hermione is SO perfectly Hermione! Really, the way she reacted and thought through everything - esp. with the free clinic - was also well done. She's in character and yet grown up. And the scene with Ron was very sweet. :)
I'm sure I'll say it a lot, but poor Neville. I hope you do at least one nice thing for him, lol!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you! You know me, I try to make things as plausible and as close to character as I can, and I always like to hear when I'm doing it well.
And yes, poor Neville. I should bake him a cake.

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 04/30/12 0:01 · For: Prologue
Great start! It's very exciting, very realistic. Also very grim, the idea that werewolves took these children. I'm so glad Neville was able to save them. And I loved the Locus charm, that was super cool.
I'm curious why he's gone to Hermione and not opted for treatment elsewhere, so I'll read the next chapter soon.
I see lots of pain for Neville, though. You do like to put him through the ringer, don't you? ;)
And yet - I so totally understand, lol!
~Gina :)

You must login (register) to review.