Reviews For Mortal Thoughts
Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 04/19/13 2:50
Chapter: Mortal Thoughts

An interesting little story, a continuation of the conversation that took place by Bill's bedside in the Hospital Wing after the battle in the tower. After Harry leaves the Hospital Wing we do not know how that conversation played out, but the author assumes that Lupin went into the Great Hall to see Dumbledore's body, then returned to the vicinity of the Hospital Wing but did not re-enter. The author gives a good exposition of Lupin's sense of being alone as, one by one, everyone who was close to him dies and he is reluctant to get close to anyone again. But he does not entertain the notion of a romantic attachment with Tonks until Molly comes out into the hall to pursue the discussion that was cut off earlier by Hagrid's arrival.

Lupin reiterates his negative opinion of himself -- he is a monster, he is a risk -- which has dominated his self-image all his life (encouraged no doubt by societal attitudes and restrictive laws), but Molly encourages him to break out of this self-imposed strait jacket, and eventually he decides to follow Lily's advice " don't have to let it define you." This is a realization that all disabled or damaged people will hopefully come to, sooner or later, that they can learn to manage their disability and go on to live a rewarding life that is normal in many respects.

In this story, Remus concludes that what holds him back is, first of all, fear, an emotion which comes not from Fenris Greyback or from society, but from within himself, and which he can conquer.

The story is nicely written. It's just a little slice of time, a little bit of dialogue, but a turning point for Lupin and Tonks. My only suggestion is a word choice in the final line. The word "feelings" sounds too tentative for a 37-year-old man like Lupin. It sounds like a word a teenager would use, in speaking about his first crush. Given that these were grim times, in which Lupin and Tonks would marry, have a baby, and die within the span of a year, I would have said "love".

Author's Response: Thank you for your extensive review. I always appreciate seeing my work through someone else's eyes as it gives me a sense of perspective, and I understand the critique of the story's ending. Thanks for reading! ~ Megan

Reviewer: silverlining95
Date: 05/05/12 20:59
Chapter: Mortal Thoughts

Your insight into the characters is dead on, you managed to write Remus and Molly exactly how they were intended to be. This was perfect for me, it encapsulated Remus' self deprecating nature, and allowed him to (with Molly's prodding), actually take time to consider the realities of his love for Tonks. Far too many fics have him instantly realise his mistake and rush head on into a relationship with her, which to an extent is true, but Remus is a man of thought, every action is planned and thought out, and you allowed him this adjustment period. Beautifully written, understated romance; perfect.

Fenella x

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! I'm tickled that you enjoyed the story so much. I too feel that some stories have Remus rushing too quickly into a relationship with Tonks, but I also feel that he's been thinking about this (based on her behavior for the whole of HBP) for a long time and just needed a little motherly push. I'm glad you felt I managed Molly well as I wasn't sure if she was OOC or not.

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