MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
05/19/12 0:38 · For:
Hey, that's fascinating! First of all, pairing Godric with Helga is a nice change, and then having it be a secret affair is even more twisty. I can totally see the influence of Lancelot/Guinivere, but it totally works here too. You captured their helplessness and desperation really well. Do you see this as a reason Salazar might have left? It's really quite interesting to look at it that way. I liked it very much, great job! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/14/12 8:41 · For:
Gah! I'd almost finished writing a review for this and then I managed to push the back button. I'll try to remember most of what I'd written.
Wow, Alex, that was just beautiful. The only only criticism I have is that I wish it was longer, but on the other hand, that might be a compliment. I actually think the length is one of this story's main strengths. You manage to say so much in so few words, which I think is the most admirable ability in a writer. And the point a story about two lover's last time together would be kind of lost if it was a 10k-word-monster-of-a-fic.
The style suits you so well. The lyrical prose feels almost like poetry. I really love how you connect every moment to something physical. Don't know if that makes any sense but what I'm referring to is, for example; "She’d said, “Your wife,” as she helped pull his shirt over his head." You use that kind of writing a lost and it's beautiful.
I don't know what more to say.
I absolutely LOVE this;
"The darkness meant she was more aware of the sound of Godric’s deep, heavy breathing, more aware of his earthy warm scent. So different to Salazar, with whom she sometimes felt the need to place her hand on his chest to check he was still alive, his breathing was that quiet, and he always smelt of the exotic oils he had shipped all the way from Arabia."
It sets everything up perfectly and it's use so evocative. I can feel, just like Helga does, how different the two of them are.
This is, in my opinion, one of the best pieces of writing of yours I've read.