MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
06/12/12 2:21 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
I thought this was beautifully done, and I love that it fits in with other stories you've done (and other OCs you've created). I thought your portrayal of Peter was beautiful because you made him human in a way so many others struggle with. I enjoyed, but was saddened by, your Remus; I'm sure he was upset about his condition, but I'd never really considered him bitter before. Overall, it was a lovely piece of work.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm glad you enjoyed it! The more I write, the more I keep borrowing my OCs and linking everything together. 'Tis fun (and easier, lol) I'm glad you liked Peter (if like is the right word?) because when i finished his part I was like "Whoa." And yes, imagining Remus as bitter is sad, but I see him reconciling it quickly. And relapsing - he had a hard life. Poor guy. Thanks again for the review! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/29/12 1:55 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
Not sure if I've commented before on any of your stories, been a fan of yours for a while, just haven't commented. I just want to say I loved this story! I feel that you got everything spot on! Wow! is all I can say. The emotions, friendships, and everything else. I truly believe that you were correct on all four marauders and what they would have seen! Thank You for your wonderful stories! =)
Author's Response: You are quite welcome, but thank you for the lovely review! Wow, you're so kind! I'm so glad you've enjoyed my stories and really appreciate that you stopped to comment on this one. I'm really happy that you liked how I approached this one with the Marauders, since they can be so different for people. It was tricky at times but I'm pretty happy with how it's turned out and been received. Thanks again!! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/28/12 5:35 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
This was really good! :D I loved what each of them saw, but I felt really sad for Remus. I'm glad, though, that he finally got over it. As for Wormtail... I feel it reflected his inner thoughts completely, and maybe this was the catalyst that sped up his conversion to the dark side.
Name: Equinox Chick
It was a good idea to keep Peter for the last, because we start with optimism and then finally on reaching Peter the mood suddenly changes and leaves a stronger impact. Had Peter been in the middle, there would have been a sudden change in tone midway and that would have been confusing.
I really like how Sirius didn't run and tell all his friends immediately, and that they were only told when they really needed it. It shows that he's maturing up. I also loved that the Map didn't want to accept the Room of Requirement; pretty convincing, indeed! It always seemed rather odd to me that none of them found out the Room of Requirement during their Hogwarts days, so yes, this pretty much solves that mystery.
So yes, once again, awesome job! I couldn't think of a better way to write this story myself. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Nadia! I really appreciate you stopping to read this and leaving such a nice review. I especially appreciate the comment about leaving Peter for last. You make an excellent point. I didn't even think of moving him, the story always progressed this way--but I really thought having his at the end was such a downer! But it couldn't have gone any other way--like you said, the change in tone would have been jarring. As for the Marauders and the RoR--just because JKR didn't tell us one way or the other doesn't mean they didn't find it. It's not on the map but it could be Unplottable, especially since it's so often different. So who knows--maybe they found it, maybe not. It just worked perfectly for hosting the Mirror here. Thanks again for the review!! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/27/12 8:51 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
writing as I read ... do not expect coherence.
Sirius: Oh yes, I can just see this downward spiral. I love the way you've made him worse after he's left home, than before. And I was thinking 'why?' (not disputing, genuinely interested) and then he sees Regulus in the mirror - who is so like him in scorning affection - and it all makes sense. he's desperate for the loving family but can't see he's got it.
Remus: *deep breath*
Okay, nit picks ... FALLLLLLLL??????!!!!!
more seriously, I don;t think you can use the Come and Go room because Sirius didn;t know about it. When Harry asks him if he knows where the DA can meet, he can't think of anywhere, so I suspect him having intimate knowledge of the room isn't likely, or Remus, either. (sorry, I am a canon picky biyotch at times.)
Back to story - OOOOH, poor Remus. This, I have to say, is exactly what I imagined for him. What I think is brilliant here is that Sirius seems not to have worked this out. Despite growing up, he still has no real idea about Moony and his torment. I think it took Azkaban and the years apart fro him to appreciate his friend. Great, great insight, Gina.
james: Perfection! You've managed to turn the cliche about his persistence into a real story. A decent story and one that makes me want to read and reread. (Quite why I am surprised when you're the J/L queen, I have no idea) I LOVE THE CHAIR ANALOGY. And Remus is brilliant here. Thank you for not leaving him completely shattered by his vision, but letting him move on - however painfully.
Peter: Chilling. Brilliant. Very, very good. What is particularly impressive here is that you gave us all the reasons why peter is a Gryffindor when James is encouraging him, and then showed why he turns. OH MYYYY! Gina this was excellent.
Okay, I shall end now. I didn;t really have any ideas of my own about what they'd see (although, as I said the Remus one had sprung to mind) but these seem bang on. This is a very good story, (despite my nitpick about the room) and a strong contender for the challenge. Well done!
Author's Response: Yay, you liked it! Thank youuuuu! I'm so relieved you enjoyed it. I was worried about some of it. James was, strangely enough, the hardest, because he likely had the most stable life of them all, so what would he want? I went with Lily, though I do see that changing as they begin fighting, and especially after they go into hiding. But here it was her, only with depth of feeling and meaning and knowing it was for real, if that makes sense. I'm glad it wasn't fluffy cliché, lol. And I'm glad Sirius worked out because DAMN I hate that bit about the WW/SWM. I will forever think she wrote that BACKWARDS!! And I will CRY FOR JOY when DH is reprinted someday with those memories rearranged, lol. Anyway, you hit the nail on the head: "He's desperate for the loving family but can't see he's got it." That was exactly what I was going for! Remus is sad, always so sad. I just saw him at a point where he needed to let it out, and Sirius tries to help but the Mirror is not really want Remus needed at that moment. It couldn't work for him like it did for Sirius. I think you are exactly right in that the years apart, and particularly Sirius's time in Azkaban, would have given him better insight into his friend's suffering. But of course Remus doesn't need years to become wiser, I think his affliction already leant him that. And then Peter. Oh, thank you for those words. I was so, so worried about that one. It just seemed so dark! But how could they have been friends with him--trusted him with their lives!!--if there wasn't more to him? And thus, more to his breakdown and turn? He could be truly tragic, if done right. Doesn't mean we have to like him or feel sorry for him, but I'd like to think there was something more to Peter Pettigrew for his friends to trust him, and I'm glad this worked. So glad.
Now, I've changed my season from 'fall' to 'autumn' just so you don't have any more fits. But as for the RoR not working, I do have to disagree. I did tweak a line or two to make it less obvious that Sirius knew what it was and what it did. With those tweaks (and even without to some degree) I find it more than plausible that when Harry asked him for a place to meet, he simply didn't come up with it in time. They were having a quick, don't-get-caught conversation, after all. Or perhaps he didn't remember. Or he just didn't associate it with being someplace a group of students could train. He did say he would think on it before they were caught in the fire, but perhaps Dobby suggested it to Harry before Sirius could. Just because we didn't get it in two pages of OotP does not mean he didn't know about it at all. It may be stretching it, but I do think we sometimes have that license for things, especially when it comes to the Marauders. Well, except that damn WW/SWM fiasco. Rawr to that. Anyway! I hope my thinking on that makes sense now and you can enjoy the story even more, lol! I'm so glad you came to read this, I really appreciate the beautiful review! Thanks again! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/26/12 22:38 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
This is absolutely gorgeous. It truly made me weep, knowing what was to happen in the future (Sirius's desire to be reunited with Regulus and knowing that Regulus would change sides too late was gut-wrenching.) I think you captured all four ot them perfectly.
Name: Nagini Riddle
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm not sure there is any evidence for Sirius holding out a bit of hope for Regulus, or even feeling bad about what happened, but I have always liked to think it was the case and have used it in a few stories. Thank you so much for reading this one, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, even though sometimes writing young Marauders--knowing what's going to happen--is rather sad. Thanks again! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/25/12 23:29 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
How very interesting! What surprised me the most was that James strongly desired Lily enough to cancel out all other desires. But I think it would be interesting to see if the image would change once he got Lily...
You captured the emotions very well! Nice job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! What a great idea, to explore how their desires changed. In my head, Remus's vision would certainly change--I thought about writing it as an epilogue. I think Sirius's vision would be quite different after Azkaban, that's for sure. As for James...I think that after finally getting together with Lily, it might only change as their lives grew more dangerous. Then perhaps he'd have a more solid desire for safety for Lily and Harry. Great thought! Thanks again! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/25/12 15:59 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
As soon as I saw your author name and 'Marauders' I knew I had to read, and glad I did :) I think you really have a great handle on each of the Marauders. I particularly liked Sirius's section, it just seemed so rightly Sirius, the way his anger built up and the way that he saw his parents so out of the picture, but still had that small hope that Regulus might still be there for him. And Remus's line about how James can get a date with Lily, but Remus would always be a werewolf, so bitter and well-said, and so sad. Poor Remus. And poor Peter as well... Great job with this piece!
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Annie! I'm glad you stopped to read it and that you were not disappointed. And I am SO glad you liked Sirius's section, because what I had originally planned for him didn't work out (stupid DH canon doublecheck *grumble*) so I was worried it might not pull together - his feelings, his actions, and tying his vision in the mirror to it. I agree about Remus, I felt rather bad for his bit, but what else might he see? Companionship, perhaps, especially later on, but at that moment, I think that's what he'd see and how he'd react--and I think he'd come to terms with it. And in some ways, I'll agree with the poor Peter as well. I do think it might have been hard being him...to a point. Then I have no sympathy for the traitor. Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/25/12 15:36 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
I've never really thought about what the Marauders might see in the Mirror of Erised, but I think you wrote it perfectly. I think all of the characters' desires make sense, however I think you did the best with Peter's. Sometimes Peter can be a bit of a challenge to write for me, however I think you did an excellent job with his personalilty. I also like how it not only showed what he desired, but to what measures he would go to achieve it.
Name: The Clockwork Angel
I like Remus's reaction to what he saw as well. Obviously Sirius wanted to help him, but the mirror couldn't give him any hope.
"You can get a date with Lily, Prongs. I'll always be a werewolf."
Sometimes I just want to hug Remus. :(
Another thing I really liked in you story was Lily comforting Sirius. I like to think that she might have cheered him up if none of his friends could.
I also noticed that none of them showed another person twice. Sirius showed Remus, Remus showed James, and James showed Peter. I think it makes sense for them to find the mirror at different times and from differenr people. After all, the Marauders didn't always she everything together.
Great story, I enjoyed it!
That last sentence gave me shivers, by the way. ;D
Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews lately (I still have one or two to respond to, I think...) I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. I had not really thought about it much either, but jumped at the chance to give it a go over on the forums. I'm glad they all make sense to you, because everyone sees these characters slightly differently and I don't want to stray too far from the bits JKR gave us. Peter's part was perhaps one of the easier ones, to be honest. I agree about Remus - so, so sad. But how could it go any other way? I was rather surprised at the Lily/Sirius bit, but I've liked the idea of them being rather close thanks to James. And I hope those shivers were a good sort of shiver. I toyed with the idea of some sort of epilogue and ending on a more positive note, but I really couldn't. Ah well! Thanks again, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)
(Signed) · Date:
05/25/12 13:18 · For: I show not your face but your heart's desire.
Very good story! I can see that you have put a lot of work into this and I will say that your work pays off. After reading this, it becomes easier to understand Wormtail's betrayal and a reason why James and Lily finally ended up together. Overall, very thoughtful story and congrats for your hard work!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm especially glad you found Peter's part interesting, because I sometimes hate thinking they were friends with someone who betrayed them, so there must have been a reason, and there should be some depth to it. Hopefully this got at that a bit. I really appreciate the amazing first review, thank you! ~Gina :)