Reviews For Grey
Reviewer: psijupiter
Date: 10/22/13 14:51
Chapter: Poem

Fabulous imagery here. You make her feel so very insubstantial without every refered to her as a ghost. I particuarly like the moths wings and the idea of her as a little clump of dust - a very brief sentence that sums up their relationship and Helena's life even before she died. The combination of her wispiness and the heaviness of heart works really well. Poor Helena. :(

I did find the middle sentence (starting 'she passes unremarked' went on a little bit too long for me - I think I didn't take the time to appreciate the images because of it. I don't know if it would be better to drop a few phrases or split it in half, or perhaps I am just being nitpicky! I also found the last phrase, 'because she has never been otherwise' a tiny bit clunky, maybe in need of a little rewording?

I do love the image of a wistful thought, which is a lovely way to describe ghost in general and the grey lady in particular. I've reread it a few times now and I still find it really lovely and full of emotions and images, given it's length.

Reviewer: hestiajones
Date: 03/17/13 10:19
Chapter: Poem

Minnaa!

This is one of my favourite prose-poems here and elsewhere. It's short but so full. I love all the images you presented; they are vivid and so fitting for the Grey Lady's tragedy, and how you added some depth to her character with the "dust gathering in the corner of her mother's workroom" part. It throws a new light to their relationship.

~ Natalie

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 11/22/12 17:11
Chapter: Poem

Oh, Minna, I never quite appreciated this poem at the time, but reading it now, it is utterly beautiful. I love all the imagery here - so very strong - especially the dull lead heart because everything else about Helena is a 'wisp' or 'moths' wings' and yet she is burdened with sorrow.

Fantastic example of prose poetry. Well done! ~Carole~

Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 06/21/12 19:53
Chapter: Poem

So sad! A beautiful short poem. I loved the imagery of the moths, and also that you used her name to show her personality. Grey, grey, grey... :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
Somebody Like You by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
After tea leaves predict romance for Snape, he makes a sardonic wish on...
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst.
CATEGORIES