Fabulous imagery here. You make her feel so very insubstantial without every refered to her as a ghost. I particuarly like the moths wings and the idea of her as a little clump of dust - a very brief sentence that sums up their relationship and Helena's life even before she died. The combination of her wispiness and the heaviness of heart works really well. Poor Helena. :(
I did find the middle sentence (starting 'she passes unremarked' went on a little bit too long for me - I think I didn't take the time to appreciate the images because of it. I don't know if it would be better to drop a few phrases or split it in half, or perhaps I am just being nitpicky! I also found the last phrase, 'because she has never been otherwise' a tiny bit clunky, maybe in need of a little rewording?
I do love the image of a wistful thought, which is a lovely way to describe ghost in general and the grey lady in particular. I've reread it a few times now and I still find it really lovely and full of emotions and images, given it's length.
This is one of my favourite prose-poems here and elsewhere. It's short but so full. I love all the images you presented; they are vivid and so fitting for the Grey Lady's tragedy, and how you added some depth to her character with the "dust gathering in the corner of her mother's workroom" part. It throws a new light to their relationship.
Oh, Minna, I never quite appreciated this poem at the time, but reading it now, it is utterly beautiful. I love all the imagery here - so very strong - especially the dull lead heart because everything else about Helena is a 'wisp' or 'moths' wings' and yet she is burdened with sorrow.
Fantastic example of prose poetry. Well done! ~Carole~
So sad! A beautiful short poem. I loved the imagery of the moths, and also that you used her name to show her personality. Grey, grey, grey... :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :)