I really like this. It helps show everyone else's motivations, the people who were left behind in what was left of Hogwarts, gives us a look at one of the turning points. The characters are well written, true to how they should be
LOVE IT!!!!!!!! Wonderful backstory/addition to Book 7. You captured the ugliness of Hogwarts under the Carrows' influence. Good job!
This was fantastic, I really enjoyed it. I genuinely felt like it’s a bit of a missing moment from JK’s books; it was characterised well, and the events played out realistically.
First thing I’m going to comment on is the ending: I love that you’ve ended on such an intriguing piece of dialogue. It both made me think there should be more to come, but also it linked into the books, since we kind of know what happens next.
My favourite thing about this story is the house unity surrounding the Gryffindors. It really felt like they were a team, how they rallied around Neville, and that is so characteristic of the house they were put in. They’re more or less Gryffindors because each is a brave individual -- that really came across in their actions, especially since they could’ve all been punished for taking him back to the Common Room. I also like that Neville is the only one brave enough to outright stand up to Carrow: it took me back to Harry/Umbridge in OTP, and established Neville’s position as the new leader of Dumbledore’s Army by being the one to speak out.
I like the use of imagery throughout this piece. There’s a nice balance between lots of imagery when he’s being tortured, and when you’re building up the scene, and then dialogue when he’s talking at the end. It separates each passage nicely, and emphasises what Neville is going through.
Thanks for the great read!
This is amazing! I love your stories and I think that you portray Neville very well. Keep up the great work!
I really love this! The start of the DA's resistance is such a frequently done subject, but this is a really strong, evocative rendition. I particularly liked your descriptions of the effects of the Cruciatus curse - I almost felt that I was in pain myself!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your characterization was just perfect! I loved this story, and i especially loved that Neville called it his badge. It's true that in war, we end up getting scars and bruises that show our bravery. I'm proud of Neville! And I'm proud of you!
Ooh, this was wonderful. :) I wrote a Neville-centric submission myself for this challenge, and it's really very interesting to see how many different ways you can write a single character--I loved your interpretation! This is Neville in a way which we saw him very little through canon, since only a tiny part of Book 7 was set in Hogwarts/among the DA members. I'm very impressed at your ability to extrapolate from so little into a story this captivating, with this strong a character.
The first time Crucio was cast, I was expecting a Frank and Alice reference by Neville, and I felt a little lost, I'll admit when one did not appear. But sure enough--and perfectly in-character--there the reminder popped up in the second Crucio, very appropriate. I also really loved the plot development caused by a second Crucio. In my mind, standing up twice, after experiencing the pain the first time, that's truer bravery--you know what's in store for you at that point, and you do it anyway. This plot really just yanks those Gryffindor qualities right out of Neville; it was pretty perfect.
The only issue I had as a reader was within my own head. As I was reading the classroom scene, I kept thinking back to Neville's absolute terror of Snape in the Potions classroom. Perhaps this is just my own personal problem, but I would have loved some insight into the thoughts going through Neville's head about Carrow/this situation. How has he gone from quivering, timid boy to brave, determined man? My question is not, "Where and when did that happen?" (clearly, it happened right here in this one-shot), but more so, "How?" I could formulate my own answer--obviously 6th year Potions with a hated Snape is very different from a classroom with Carrow for a thousand reasons, but I'd love to see your interpretation of what catalyst caused Neville to grow in such a dramatic way.
Anyway, this was a wonderful submission. The plot was exactly planned to, as I said earlier, yank the Gryffindor qualities out of Neville, and I very much enjoyed your interpretation of his character. :) Without further ado, write on!
OH MY GOD!!! THAT WAS SO GOOD!!! I NEVER WANTED IT TO END!!! IT WAS SO INTENSE AND VERY WELL WRITTEN!!! MY FAVORITE PART WAS WHAT NEVILLE SAID IN THE LAST PARAGRAPH!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE OF WHAT YOU HAVE!!!
That was great! For some reason, I have read very few stories about the ones at Hogwarts during book seven, and I have almost no thoughts of my own. Now I have this to set the bar. I can totally see Neville doing this--well, JKR so much as says he did--and you wrote it very well. Tying it to Dumbledore's Army at the end was quite good, and I loved seeing the other characters. Seamus's line - "It wasn't a compliment" - was perfect. Neville really figured it out seventh year, didn't he? Loved it! Good luck!