Great story! I expected more snatchers and fighting and things like that, but it was still good! I also expected more worry about Hermione...but it's your story and I liked it the way it was! Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. ~ Megan
As I was reading this, I was thinking that you did a great job integrating the bits of his story that Ron tells us in DH, especially that first time he is captured by the Snatchers. I do think even just a passing reference to Shell Cottage would help, though, since we know Ron went there at some point and likely spent a bit of time there. Obviously the focus of your story is different, but acknowledging canon is always a good thing. ;)
The present tense was a nice way to make it more immediate, I thought. And you did well with the first person as well. There were a few lines here or there that maybe didn't ring quite "Ron" to me, but that's a fairly subjective thing for an author/reader, because again - JKR didn't give us much to go on, and so we have to extrapolate what Ron did, and more important, how he did it and how he felt doing it. All in all, I thought you captured his desperation and regret quite well. It was a good look at his character, which is probably what this challenge is all about, lol. Good luck!
Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! I wanted to include Ron's visit to Shell Cottage in the story, but I couldn't find the reference in DH no matter how many times I looked (because I was apparently always a chapter too soon or too late), so I didn't want to include something I was pretty sure was canon but couldn't find the exact reference to. I'm glad Ron's desperation comes through; without JKR's say-so, I feel like Ron probably spent those weeks the same way Harry and Hermoine did, just living on the fringes and popping from place to place to not get caught. I wanted it to feel like a continuation of what we have in canon with so many weeks of "hurry up and wait" while on the run, but now he's doing it alone and how much he knows that the alone part is all his fault. ~Megan
In response to your response: the reference is on page 397 of chapter twenty, Xenophilius Lovegood, in the American version of the Deathly Hallows. :) but as you said, it didn't really matter!
Author's Response: That's what I'd been looking for! You would have been a godsend when I was writing this... Thanks for doing more due diligence than me and finding what I didn't. If I ever go back and seriously revise the piece, I'll definitely use this info.
Oh, poor Ron! I think you did a magnificent job, but I'm positive that Ron visited his brother Bill during this time. He told his friends later that Bill had always been decent to him, and didn't like him running away, but had helped him just the same... Other than that, I loved it!
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I too thought Ron visited Shell Cottage, but I went back through Deathly Hallows as I wrote this and couldn't find the reference where he mentioned it so I thought better safe than sorry. Glad you liked the story, Shell Cottage visit or not. :-)