Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 06/25/12 0:02
Chapter: Poem

Here is my fab review: I love poetry! Am I right in thinking that this was the ghost of Voldemort? If not, then who is it?
My favorite line was the last one- And I am eternal. How true that spirits are eternal, although what he really meant was that he would live on in infamy, always remembered. Still, it's a scary thought- to always be remembered... To think that centuries from now, some people could be learning about any one of us! And how will the books write us? History is written by the victor, and as we have witnessed in all these stories, perspective is everything!!!!!! Just a little thought that will probably haunt me for a while... :D
Great poem, by the way! It was flawless (I find most poetry to be flawless, anyways, since the words always come from a special place in people's hearts and minds). :) :) :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much. Poetry has so little love on the archives that I'm always doubly delighted to get a review, and triply when it's a lovely one like this. Yes, it's Voldemort's ghost talking and the other ghosts are the ones clamouring for revenge. History is of course written by the victor, but I also think his name will live on as a horror story to frighten people. Thank you again ~Carole~

Reviewer: the opaleye
Date: 06/23/12 14:25
Chapter: Poem

This made the short shortlist when I was judging the challenge. I have a sort of love/hate relationship with this poem because, while I love it so much, it also gave me a lot of grief when I was trying to make a judgement decision!

But in all seriousness, this poem sends shivers down my spine. I remember when that song came up on shuffle for you, I thought, wow, this could be interesting. And it was. It is. Even after re-reading it numerous times, it still gives me chills, particularly that final line. The fact that Voldemort still lives on in the minds and in the fears of the wizarding world is like a slap in the face. He's dead but they're never going to rest easy. They're never going to forget. I love that you built that all up from this random quirky title.

The structure is also really well done. I love the way you alternate between the three-line stanzas and the single lines. It's like you're punctuating each long stanza, and not only does it flow really well, it's another way to make the theme of the poem all the more effective.

I guess the only crit I could give you is that I find the fourth long stanza the weakest. Clamour/clammy sounds a bit awkward and breaks the flow somewhat. Sorry, I know it's a bit late to point this out now that it's on the archives. I can't think of another synonym for clammy that would work better in that stanza but perhaps something like 'restless'?

Other than that, though, I really love this poem to bits. The structure is fresh, the narrative fits so well with the title, the ending is superbly blunt. Keep on being fabulous, Carole.

Julia x

Author's Response: Julia, thank you very much for the review. It's great when a poem gets decent crit, so I'm very grateful. This was the song title I struggled the most with. I had something else at first which was a literal meeting for ghosts who wanted to pass on, but it got silly, so then came up with the Voldy idea. To be honest, I was surprised you were torn with this one because it's one I tried working on but was half dead so didn;t craft as much as I should have done. The clammy/clamour was deliberate but it does look clumsy (oooh, clammy/clamour/clumsy) so I think I'll take that on board and fiddle with it. I was trying to get the impression of clammy ghosts - the way Nick makes Harry feel when he glides through him, so I shall ponder a while.

Thanks again (my response is sadly inadequate. :( ) ~Croll~

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Purity of the Turf by Nagini Riddle 3rd-5th Years
"Only know you love her when you let her go...And you let her go." -Let Her...
Dark Enough To See The Stars by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Scorpius is looking for answers in the constellation that bears his name. He...
Awry by Liet Dumbledore 3rd-5th Years
At the end of sixth year, Lily hates Severus. She can never forgive him for...
FEATURED
Etched in Gold by Cirelondiel 1st-2nd Years
"It’s like a safe place, somewhere to watch the world, somewhere...
The Elder Tree by the opaleye 1st-2nd Years
It would have been no surprise to see Vernon Dursley sitting on the frosty concrete...
Perfect First by Hermiones Kneazle 1st-2nd Years
Hermione is at her first dance and on her first date, but the night for firsts...
blackbird over the dark field by psijupiter 3rd-5th Years
AU. Severus and Remus forge a damaged and damaging relationship in the aftermath...
Turn to Stone by iLuna17 1st-2nd Years
One summer's night in Hogwarts, two statues are given one night to be human.
Ashes of the Past by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Viktor carries the memory of Grindelwald's path of destruction, passed down...
What War Takes by WeasleyMom 6th-7th Years
War takes things and keeps on taking them, and the things it takes don't come...
The Observer Effect by Squibstress 6th-7th Years
Minerva is a watcher. Mostly, she watches Severus. She sees through a glass...
CATEGORIES