MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
10/04/14 21:24 · For:
So I shall leave you a review, since you've asked so nicely...
It's very nice. Not too hard to understand, since we know the characters, but did I miss there being any sort of conclusion to the story? It is very nice, I like it, and I'd like to see Remus and Tonks having their romance. This would be a good first chapter to a longer fic.
I find it just a little confusing that it's just some dialog, without my (I may be being dim) being able to figure out if something has actually happened or not...
(Signed) · Date:
10/11/12 4:43 · For:
Ooh, Soraya, this was so much fun to read! Even without any sort of descriptions or anything else, this story is good enough to stand on its own, for the dialogues are brilliant and express all the actions done without the actual words. It’s perfectly coherent even without the dialogue tags, and not once does it become tedious or boring. Your formatting worked very well for me =).
I love the inclusion of the juggling prompt here. I think the literal use of the prompt fit the story far better than any metaphor or imagery would, for this made it more fun and more ‘Sirius’-like. It’s something that I can see him doing any day.
Speaking of Sirius, I do love his characterization! You’ve managed to capture his essence perfectly with your witty portrayal of him, and Remus, too was brilliant. I was sure Sirius must have had such discussions with Remus to try and get him settled. You showed that he was prepared to use any angle to get Remus to admit his feelings -- for example, his use of the line “My cousin not good-looking enough for you?” is a good depiction of his obstinacy. I really appreciated his thoughts for his friend in this story, and it goes to show that he’s not always an insensitive prat (though he’s not really good at showing it).
While I read Remus I could feel that same insecurity inside him that we are so used to seeing, and I did feel sorry for him that even though he loved Tonks he couldn’t do anything about it. You managed to portray him as practical and also with a low self-confidence by the use of dialogues like ”… Tonks would be good for me, yes, but I wouldn’t be any good for her.” and his reference to how much older he was than her. You made me want to yell at him for being such a worry-wart.
“That was bloody terrible, Moony. If you want to take the piss out of my name, at least make a good joke out of it. Anyway, forget that. Tonks fancies you.” Hehe, this made me giggle. The pun on Sirius’ name has always been a rather annoying cliché, and yet you’ve brought it across as something hilarious. It also illustrates Remus’ inability to make jokes, and it’s far more believable that he’d crack this just to divert Sirius’ attention instead of someone like James doing it.
All along, the tone was light-hearted and though I was exasperated at Remus, I still loved every bit of the story. The last line however, got me wondering. It was rather sad, really, that even though Sirius said that he had forever to practice, he really didn’t have any time, did he? It made me think “If he just knew...” It left a very strong impact on the reader and that was, I think, a very good place to finish off.
Overall, this was a very wonderful piece of work, and I promise I’ll get around to reviewing more of your fantastic pieces. =D
Author's Response: Nadiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Thank you for the fabulous review. Really, I have no proper excuse for replying to this so late, other than the fact that I have been uber busy with school. Sorry sorry sorry.
I am so glad you liked this! I kind of felt like I had to shoehorn in the juggling prompt, so it's great that you thought I did a good job with that, especially given there was no narrative, only dialogue, something I've never really tried before, so it's lovely to know it (hopefully) worked. :D
I am so glad you liked Sirius's and Remus's characterisations. They are far from easy characters, but I wanted to show two different sides to at least Sirius and, if I could, Remus. And I think Remus's insecurity is something I very much understand, so it's great to know you liked his characterisation.
And I always have a soft spot for Sirius/serious jokes, lol, so I try to shoehorn them in wherever I can :P And yeah, it was a cliche, but it's a nice cliche, if you know what I mean, and I can so see the Marauders taking the piss out of Sirius's name like that.
I realise the ending is a bit darker than you'd expect given how light-hearted the rest of the story is, but there was a reason Sirius was so tired of being cooped up in Grimmauld Plac and therefore became a bit of an alcoholic as a result.
I am so glad you liked this, Nadia! It's certainly not one of my best stories, but I do have an odd fondness for it :P Once again, thank you a million times over for the fabulous review, and please forgive me for not responding for so long D:
(Signed) · Date:
07/27/12 12:20 · For:
Soraya - you may call this fluff or silliness, but it does take certain skill to write a dialogue only story (it's certainly something I can't see myself attempting... I really can't get dialogue very well) - and it's clear the whole way through what's happening and who's talking, which means you've written and characterised it well.
I loved all the references to Sirius being drunk and how, even though it's really about Remus and Tonks, he ties them together and just seems to be there all the time... I hadn't really thought about Sirius as their connection before, rather that they would have just met at the Order, but it's rather interesting.
I liked the friendship you showed between Sirius and Remus - the silly jokes etc, and the way they get involved in each other's lives... also Remus was very in character with all the "she's too good for me" stuff.
Anyway, sorry this isn't a particularly long/good review, but I did very much enjoy this fic :).
Author's Response: KATRINAAAA
Yay, you're back to review me again! I really do not deserve all this loveliness from you, seriously. (No pun intended, lol.) It was very much just a bit of silliness that went on for too long, but I'm delighted that you enjoyed it. Dialogue is a lot of fun. I adore writing banter between people, especially the Marauders, so this came easier for me than, say, my Albus/Rose, which I'm sure ate a bit of my soul (that was how much I angsted about it, lol). I think it was a bit confusing at one point, when Remus and Tonks and Sirius were all in the same room together, but it's lovely to know that you thought it was characterised well :)
Haha, yes, I always intended Sirius to be the one to set up Remus and Tonks. Plus it's fun to write Sirius taking the mick out of Remus about Tonks XD And yayyyyy to you liking their silly jokes! I'm assuming you're referring to the Sirius/Serious jokes, lolol, which I so blame Gina for :P
The idea of this story actually came from the UK Being Human (I have no idea whether or not you watch it, but if you don't, you should -- it's so fab). One character realised that his housemate fancied him and was talking about it with his best friend, and his best friend was just like "Did you seriously not pick up on any of this" and the guy was so insistent that he wasn't right for this woman because of... various things :) Kinda hard to explain it without spoiling things, but there you go :)
Anyway, it's lovely to see you back on my author page again :) This was an excellent review, and I thank you very very much for enjoying it.
(Signed) · Date:
07/21/12 1:08 · For:
Two of my favorite characters in a chat! Love it. Sirius is adorable!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! Sirius and Remus are definitely *my* favourite boys, lol, and writing banter between them was lots of fun. I'm glad you liked it, and yes, Sirius is adorable <3
(Signed) · Date:
07/19/12 19:41 · For:
I loved it! Okay, so I was a bit confused at times since there were three people involved, but that was minor. It just made me think, lol. I never really thought of Remus/Tonks while Sirius was still alive and what Sirius might have thought. I loved his reaction - and Remus's was spot on. Oh, poor Remus! The humour between them was lovely, and the end was great. This was quite nice. Good job!! ~Gina :)
Name: Equinox Chick
Author's Response: Thank youuuuuuuu
Haha, yes, that bit was confusing when Tonks came back in. But I didn't know what to do -- have Sirius go to the loo or something? LOL. This was written mainly for a laugh more than anything, and I didn't expect it to go on for quite so long, lol. I thought it was too silly, but my beta liked it, so I decided I might as well submit it and not bin it, haha.
I'm glad you liked Remus's reaction -- I was worried it was a bit OTT/OOC, but he *is* a bit annoying about it all, lol. And YAY to you liking the humour -- it's very unlike me to write such light, airy things, and I'm rather inexperienced at it now :P And I'm glad you liked the ending -- it was more because of the prompt than anything, and because I didn't want to make it seem like I was shoehorning it in (though I obviously was :) ). Anyway, thank you for the review -- it made my day :)
(Signed) · Date:
07/17/12 20:39 · For:
Hahahahahahahha - this is delightful! I love Sirius here, he's so happy which makes me happy because I hate to think of him gloomy all the time (which is how most people portray him) I think he'd have had some fun as well. Remus here is so lovely - suitably uptight but also patently interested in Tonks but just can't say anything.
And - hee hee - I loved the Sirius joke.
Made me smile and gille - Thank you!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: You didn't hate it? Yayyyyyy. This was just a bit of silliness, really, but I thought I'd dedicate it to you because you like Sirius and Remus/Tonks and your Marauder banter always is lovely. Sirius is drunk!happy, lolol, though of course, at this point, he had spent a lot more time with Harry which would obviously make him happier :) And I'm glad you liked Remus. This whole thing was actually inspired by a scene in Being Human (I don't think you watch it, though) -- basically, a vampire who was trying to go clean and stop killing people realised that his ghost housemate fancied him, and he didn't think he was good enough for her because he was, essentially, a monster. I was rewatching that scene and it made me giggle a lot, hence why I wrote it. /long explanation
YAYYYY to you liking the Sirius/serious joke! I always think I overdo it/make it too in-your-face, so I'm glad you liked it :) Thank youuuuuuu for the review!
(Signed) · Date:
07/17/12 20:22 · For:
This was so cute! I loved how Remus was in denial and Sirius was trying to twist the conversation. But the last line was actually very sad, even if it was over something as silly as juggling.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review ;) I'm glad you liked it. Remus was definitely in denial, lol. This was just a bit of silliness (hence the juggling, but it's more because of the prompt than anything), so it's nice to know there was a bit of seriousness (I am so addicted to Sirius/serious jokes) at the end. That was kind of the intention: for it to be light and fluffy but also having a slightly darker tone to it. Ta again!