MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 03/18/13 14:46 · For: Chapter 1
You paint such a vile picture here of a Death Eater meeting (the particular use of 'cankered blood' made me shudder) one wonders why hey joined - ha ha. I imagine Lucius being somewhat reviled, at first, and yet I can see him getting drawn in to the real darkness here. Bellatrix, of course, would be leading from the front.

The way you've mixed the very real images of eating 'feeding death', 'ravenous bellies' really do lend the poem a horrific air as you realise they are gorging themselves on death and getting a real kick out of it.

Amongst the horror here, I loved the way you snuck in the 'satin spell' image because the Death Eaters were seduced by thoughts of power and Voldy's words, so satin is a wonderfully seductive word to use in this context.

Chilling poem. ~Carole~

Name: Nagini Riddle (Signed) · Date: 07/18/12 15:25 · For: Chapter 1
I'm a Death Eater! Okay not really. :D
I of course loved it. I noticed, though, that the first two stanzas sort of rhyme, and the last two don't. What I mean is, in the first stanza, "masks" and "past" share the same vowel sound, and therefore give a sense of rhythm and rhyme. The same happens with the second stanza with "pink" and "eat." Just something I noticed. :)
I really enjoyed the spider imagery. It reminded me of the story, The Spider and the Fly, in which the spider does all he can to flatter the lady fly, and she finally gives in and he ties her up for a later meal.
Chills are running down my spine...

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 07/18/12 13:43 · For: Chapter 1
Merlin, that's dark! Eeeeep! The language is so, so...icky and squishy and just dark. And I mean that in the best of ways, because it really, really gives the poem a haunting, evil air -- which you would expect from the title, lol.
I might suggest changing the 'happily' in the last stanza though, because you just used 'Happy' earlier in the line and it kind of jumped out at me. Unless you wanted that double use, in which case...I would still suggest another word (gladly, perhaps?) because there are too many other gorgeous words and images in here to repeat a word like happy. Unless you were going for irony, in which case...I'll shut up now. LOL!! Great, great poem!
~Gina :)

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