Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 03/18/13 14:46
Chapter: Chapter 1

You paint such a vile picture here of a Death Eater meeting (the particular use of 'cankered blood' made me shudder) one wonders why hey joined - ha ha. I imagine Lucius being somewhat reviled, at first, and yet I can see him getting drawn in to the real darkness here. Bellatrix, of course, would be leading from the front.

The way you've mixed the very real images of eating 'feeding death', 'ravenous bellies' really do lend the poem a horrific air as you realise they are gorging themselves on death and getting a real kick out of it.

Amongst the horror here, I loved the way you snuck in the 'satin spell' image because the Death Eaters were seduced by thoughts of power and Voldy's words, so satin is a wonderfully seductive word to use in this context.

Chilling poem. ~Carole~

Reviewer: Nagini Riddle
Date: 07/18/12 15:25
Chapter: Chapter 1

I'm a Death Eater! Okay not really. :D
I of course loved it. I noticed, though, that the first two stanzas sort of rhyme, and the last two don't. What I mean is, in the first stanza, "masks" and "past" share the same vowel sound, and therefore give a sense of rhythm and rhyme. The same happens with the second stanza with "pink" and "eat." Just something I noticed. :)
I really enjoyed the spider imagery. It reminded me of the story, The Spider and the Fly, in which the spider does all he can to flatter the lady fly, and she finally gives in and he ties her up for a later meal.
Chills are running down my spine...

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 07/18/12 13:43
Chapter: Chapter 1

Merlin, that's dark! Eeeeep! The language is so, so...icky and squishy and just dark. And I mean that in the best of ways, because it really, really gives the poem a haunting, evil air -- which you would expect from the title, lol.
I might suggest changing the 'happily' in the last stanza though, because you just used 'Happy' earlier in the line and it kind of jumped out at me. Unless you wanted that double use, in which case...I would still suggest another word (gladly, perhaps?) because there are too many other gorgeous words and images in here to repeat a word like happy. Unless you were going for irony, in which case...I'll shut up now. LOL!! Great, great poem!
~Gina :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Chocolate Frog by L A Moody 3rd-5th Years
Amid the desolation of Diagon Alley, a tiny ray of hope lay buried. Nothing...
I Suspect Nargles by foolondahill17 3rd-5th Years
“No one’s ever kissed me before…. What is one to do now?” An extensive...
The Life and Times of Linnea Potter by Cantatrix 1st-2nd Years
Linnea Potter has lived under the tyranny of her relatives for the better part...
FEATURED
Glass over the Flame by the opaleye 3rd-5th Years
Harry, Hermione, and the moments in between. He doesn’t say that this...
Tom Riddle and the Chamber of Secrets by CanisMajor 3rd-5th Years
What really happened the last time someone let the Basilisk out? Harry Potter...
Red Squirrel/Sun Rises by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
+ He wouldn't celebrate his birthday, but his son had other ideas. + This was...
Sybill Trelawney and the Unexpected Gift by Squibstress 3rd-5th Years
Sybill Trelawney learns to live with her Inner Eye, cooking sherry, and Minerva...
Pat-a-Cake by foolondahill17 1st-2nd Years
Molly Weasley II, called Pat, and twenty-one lot and little-known facts. Or...
Wood by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
Marcus Flint, the infamous Super Seventh Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch...
CATEGORIES