Reviews For Tongue-Tied
Reviewer: dmbw7052
Date: 10/21/13 17:18
Chapter: Chapter 1

Hey Maple!

I really enjoyed this story, especially since Scily is a favorite pairing of mine. Your next gen stories never fail to amaze me and this was no exception.

I think how you brought the two of them together with Quidditch was very believable, seeing how both their fathers loved playing it. Another fact I thought was great is how you describe Scorpius as being "the boy next door." It seems very realistic that Lily wouldn't exactly be friends with him, seeing as their two families have history. But they're more than just acquaintances, which you illustrate nicely.

The fast paced tone of the story fit well with the whole plot and the way you quickly went from scene to scene was good. I do think it could have been longer, especially at the end. You dealt with Lily's awkwardness at seeing Scorpius in a humorous way, which fit the light tone of the entire story.

Great job!


Reviewer: J-Holly
Date: 04/05/13 3:14
Chapter: Chapter 1

I liked the way you described how Lily felt about him, and how he asked her out.Scorpius was really nice in this story! I can tell why Lily fell for him:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! ~Maple

Reviewer: majestic_ginny
Date: 08/06/12 5:34
Chapter: Chapter 1

Maple, this was a lovely story. People usually pair Rose and Scorpius together (myself included) and I don’t really read Lily/Scorpius, but I think this one turned out to be just fine :).

The story took off splendidly, and that beginning paragraph on words really spiked my interest. It sounded to me like the narration they give in some movies, and as I read the rest of the fic this effect remained. Whenever I read any of Lily’s thoughts it was loud and clear in my head, similar to a sort of background voice giving an overview. That effect is rather hard to achieve, so I commend you for that :).

The interactions between Scorpius and Lily were particularly lovely, especially how they met - it was hilarious. There are several common tropes about how Boy Meets Girl, but the way you arranged it was quite clever and original in my opinion. I appreciated that their relation didn’t go from friends one day to Lily’s crush the next day, but developed over a course of time. The catalyst probably was that Lily thought that Scorpius would stop playing with her because Rose started dating someone; that’s when Lily started to develop her feelings, right? And I think that’s when we first get the hint that Scorpius feels something too. But I did notice that after that, Scorpius’ feelings are hardly mentioned until the end. Sure, Scorpius noticed that Lily was acting awkward around him, but I think that if we were shown a bit more body language, such as Scorpius acting slightly amused, or turning a deep shade of red at something she did would have been great. When he was asking Lily out, for example, I think he could have blushed and smiled at her. Malfoy or not, a guy is usually a bit awkward at these times (unless he’s a playboy/Sirius Black, lol).

Other than that, this was a really enjoyable read. What always struck me about Next Gen fics is how carefree everyone sounds. With no war going on in the background, the only problems the Next-Gen kids have are boys and their studies. You managed to make Lily sound lighthearted and normal, like any normal teenage girl acting around her first crush, and that is what I believe the point of the story.

Once again, awesome story, Maple! Now I’ll go on and wonder about what Harry’s gonna say :D *plotting look on face*


Author's Response: Hey Nadia! Thank you so much for your review! I actually don't know exactly when Lily started developing feelings...this must be what legit author's feel like when English students disect their work ahaha :) As for Scorpius being an emotional rock, I'll cover it by saying that Lily is just too unobservant to notice it ahahaha ;) Maple

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Apothecary and the Bane by Icarus Unbound 1st-2nd Years
The apothecary receives a visitor in the wizarding slums of London.
M.I.T.: Entente Cordiale by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
Twilit Confessions by ahattab33 3rd-5th Years
After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to...
Soul Sister by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
Ted and Andromeda have just eloped. So, they dance. A songfic featuring...
Time and Tide by minnabird 6th-7th Years
Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time...
Footprints in the Sand by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
It was a summer like any other for Danny. He worked at his parents' Bed and...
Consolation by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
For years, Remus Lupin found comfort in the arms of Rosmerta Richardson...until...
Dangerous Liaisons by eternalangel 6th-7th Years
It was a dangerous game she was playing; Dorcas Meadowes knew it, but the exhilaration...