Reviews For Roller-Coaster
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 01/05/14 9:52
Chapter: Rise and Fall

I really like the peaks and troughs of this piece, the way you've used the metaphor (and actuality) of the roller-coaster in reference to Tonks's lovelife is very well done. The fact that she relishes each high and low makes perfect sense because, as you mention, she's an Auror and thus a part of her must love the excitement.

She's beautifully characterised here, from the little girl begging to go on the roller-coaster, to the one batting away Remus's excuses, and then the woman talking to him by the lake, now much calmer.

The only thing I would suggest is that in using the roller-coaster theme, you neglected most of book six where she's not experiencing any sort of high or thrill because she's stalled at the bottom of a dip as Remus has left. What I'm really saying here is that I'd have loved you to expand this and reference her depression at that time, signified by her inability to change her hair colour and the fact she never seemed to smile or talk to Harry.

The end is heart-breaking. Because they did fall. He left her once more, and although he came back, that must have been a fall for her. :( (I suppose iot depends how long you think he left her for though.) It's also heart-breaking because we know they died together at the Battle - I suppose that's both a high and a low as I doubt either would have been happy again without the other.

Great story ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you for your review and criticism. As this story was written two years ago, there will be no edits made.

Reviewer: canufeelthemagictonight
Date: 10/19/13 11:22
Chapter: Rise and Fall

Wow...just...wow.

Author's Response: Thanks? I'm assuming that's a good wow.

Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 04/20/13 23:18
Chapter: Rise and Fall

This story shows Remus feeling sorry for himself. He had managed some sort of a life in his students days; he had accomplished what the other students did: learning the curriculum and making some friends.

But after graduation it was hard to find work. We know that he was in the Order of the Phoenix and that he served as Professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts for one year at Hogwarts, but what else? Given his patched and shabby appearance, probably not much else.

When we see him in this story, his spirit is beaten down. And after nineteen years of battling almost insurmountable barriers, who wouldn't be discouraged? Who wouldn't fell sorry for himself? Who wouldn't use noble-sounding excuses to avoid being disappointed again? We remember how quickly he cleared out of Hogwarts in the spring of 1994 after being uncovered by Snape, without even fighting to save his position until the end of the term.

These are good lines: "I can't want things like other men. I can't live like other people."
The second sentence is true; many handicapped or disabled people don't live exactly like a completely able-bodied person.

But the first sentence is not true. We are all entitled to want, whether or not we obtain." Feelings of longing are our own possession; no one is forbidden to hope or dream. Lupin's statement that he has no right to his own feelings (ridiculous statement!) indicates his lack of self-esteem. He has internalized the negative attitudes of much of society.

The author says "He didn't [talk] for several minutes." Which of the things that Dora had said was he mulling over in his mind during those minutes? Was it really just a kiss that made the difference? Or Dora's excellent point that they were living in abnormal times that broke all the previous rules of how society functions? Her best line, in my opinion, comes right after he complains that he can't want the things that other men want or live as they do. At that point in history, no one was living as they used to do.

An excellent little story. I have seen various conceptions of what exactly persuaded Remus to seize the happiness that he had wanted all along. This one is a fine example.

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind remarks. It's been a while since I actually read this story, so I can't answer your questions right off, so feel free to speculate.

Reviewer: WeasleyMom
Date: 01/12/13 15:45
Chapter: Rise and Fall

Oh, how I love some Remus/Tonks, and this is very sweet. I like the comparison to the roller-coaster and that rise and fall that is love in anyone's life really, but yes, particularly for these two. Nice analogy, and the memory of Tonks and her father is a nice addition.

One thing I think might make the story a big stronger is simply to flesh it out a bit more, add some description into the diaglogue. I love the scene by the lake -- nicely done setting this after Bill's injury -- but the lines come very quickly and it's such serious subject matter. Remus is such a brooder and thinker, I think some pauses there for description might make the transition to his proposal feel less sudden. But that's only an idea. :)

The fic is lovely, and my favorite part is easy to choose. This line:

“It’s not about what I have to lose. It’s about what you have to lose.”

I think that is right on the money, in terms of characterizing where Remus is and how he thinks about his relationship with her. He wants it because he loves her, but he feels he would be stealing her life. I love that line!

Well done! I enjoyed reading!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review.

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 08/14/12 14:49
Chapter: Rise and Fall

Short but sweet! The roller coaster imagery was nice. The proposal seemed a bit out-of-the-blue, but that could be very well how it happened. Nice job! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thanks.

Reviewer: Theloonyhermione
Date: 08/05/12 0:02
Chapter: Rise and Fall

Oh my gosh I LOVED the beginning part, it was beautifully written!!! Great job, I would be clueless writing like that!

Author's Response: Thank you!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90 1st-2nd Years
This story weaves the tale of James and Lily from the day they met right up...
Dark Enough To See The Stars by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Scorpius is looking for answers in the constellation that bears his name. He...
The Other Prophecy by IWriteToSurvive 3rd-5th Years
Hermione Granger is in a dilemma. A dilemma she never thought could happen...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES