Reviews For A Kiss in Kumasi
Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 04/13/13 1:08
Chapter: Chapter 1

I just had to write a comment on your story because my daughter has lived all her adult life in various African countries, and the colorful details of your story remind me of what I have heard from her. The question of "self-injection" has been debated in this forum, pro and con, but there is no doubt in my mind that some of our richest and most realistic tales result from our mining our own experiences.

Given that the pronouncing and receiving of curses is an active aspect of many cultures in Africa and elsewhere (my daughter had an interesting experience in Cote d'Ivoire), it doesn't take much tweaking of the story to make it fit into the Potter universe. The magical bureaucracy in Ghana can be a reflection of the secular bureaucracy in Ghana.

In your story the curse was genuine and the curse-breaking ritual had a genuine effect, but in real life the lines between real and fake magic are blurry. Do the curses and cures actually work, in real life, simply because the victim believes so strongly in them? You answer this question within the realm of your story by having them work at a distance; Sarah Bones suffers the effects of the curse without knowing about the curse and gains the benefit of the cure without knowing about the curse-lifting ritual.

And I loved your little detail about the pathogenic organisms in the water becoming spell-resistant. That's such a clever take-off of the problem of pathogens becoming resistant to the drugs we use against them.

What worked least well for me in your story was the boyfriend-girlfriend complication between Susan and Kofi in the time leading up to the curse-lifting ritual. I can understand injecting some tension right before the climax by introducing some element that threatened to derail the ceremony (and Sarah's cure) at the last minute, but I would have chosen something other than a romantic entanglement. I see their relationship as strictly business, a friend helping a friend; if it was supposed to be something more, that could have been developed more, though for the purpose of the story it did not need to be anything more.

All in all, an interesting and enjoyable story, full of rich cultural detail. It brought back memories of my visit with my daughter when she was in Madagascar.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Unexploded Bombs by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Dudley Dursley has just experienced the death of his elderly father Vernon from...
Ginny's Big Decision by dg04 1st-2nd Years
After Dumbledore's Funeral, Harry tells Ginny that they can't be together anymore...
Little Lions by SexY_LydZ 6th-7th Years
On a stormy October evening, a letter, a late night trip to the library and...
FEATURED
Going Against Salazar's Grain by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
"Sometimes," said Dumbledore, "we sort too soon." Originally writtten for...
Whispers in the Night by lucca4 6th-7th Years
"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell." It's a secret, and it haunts...
Fear and Loathing in Florida (Mostly Loathing) by minnabird 3rd-5th Years
Scabior and Greyback had to escape the Aurors somehow - they just hadn't expected...
Just Before Healing by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
With Hannah, things always go to yellow.
In Bloom by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
It figures that he ignores the other side of roses. Thorns fit to draw blood...
Magical by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ginny and her brothers sneak down the stairs to look at presents, but instead...
CATEGORIES