Hey! great story there. Have you been inspired by The Life and Times? It seems really similar, I spotted it as soon as I read the prologue (that's a compliment :) Anyway, I like the way you write, it seems really smooth and coherent, and captivating at the same time, if that makes sense. I really like your characterization, even the OCs. I kind of miss Emma and I miss hearing about British soccer from her ;) I am not a big fan of Remus/Sirius, if this is where you want to take it, but it's okay I'll deal with it because I really enjoy reading your story. I can't wait for James and Lily to overcome the "shouting and fighting" phase to get to a more "talking and having fun together" phase but it's good that you're taking time to develop their relationship. The salt scene was bloody hilarious by the way. And I sort of pity Doc now, he's nice. See, you even make me like characters that I want to despise for merely existing. I can't wait for the next chapter, and the next Quidditch game, I always like reading about those :) It's also great that you included Peter in the story and the group dynamic. A lot of stories just ignore him or make him really ugly, stupid and/or plain transparent. I don't remember in which chapter it was, but I liked how you mentioned that he was always around the Marauder that had more power. I wish Lily would forget about Snape (and Dearborn) and stop being judgmental at James. Although it shows that she's far from being a Mary Sue so it makes her an even more interesting character. I also really like Mary. "I'm bleeding from my vagina" + Sirius's reaction = you mad genius, you made my love for Mary increase by at least 500% right then. I wish that would have happened in real life. I would have cried laughing. I probably have other things to say about your story but that's all I can come up with right now. I can't understand why you only have 5 reviews. Maybe it's because Mugglenet is not that popular? Or people are just mad and lazy? Maybe you should try to publish you story on Fanfiction.net as well (they're not paying me to say this I swear :) you'd probably get more viewers/reviewers. If you want to, that is.
Much love from Paris -Nadège.
Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for your reviews (here and on FF.net)! I sort of regret how obviously the prologue is inspired by TLAT—it wasn't on purpose, but I'd just read it and so it sort of happened? Mostly just the she did whatever/he did whatever, though. I'm glad you like the OCs! I was a little worried because there are so many of them (and so many canon characters without real personalities in the books), but I really like them. Emma is probably my favorite—don't worry, you haven't seen the last of her ;). Remus/Sirius is...well, I'll let you figure it out. I like Doc too! I didn't want to make Lily's boyfriend evil because I mean, what are the chances he would be? Anyway, thank you so much for your reviews. I hope you like what's to come!
I really really enjoyed this.
I love how you haven't characterised Lily as the cliched 'holier than thou' prefect, but instead as someone far more human and conflicted. The mere fact that she smokes and is in such a mismatched relationship with Doc makes her seem so much more real and human. I also love the depth at which you've explored the other characters, particularly Remus, Alice and mary. Each one is so fully fleshed out that it's as if this is who they were in canon.
Also, I like how you've actually confronted the issue surrounding Sirius' betrayal of Remus. Many authors skim over this or simply assume everything would have been fine, but I agree with you in that it was not something they would have simply brushed off, particularly not James. I found the line where you described James' relationship with Sirius as like cutting off a diseased leg, and appearing healthy yet ultimately crippled particularly powerful, as it was something I've experienced in real life and you somehow put it into words, something I've never managed. In fact all of James' scenes have been overwhelmingly powerful, as his personality shines through, yet so does his sense of betrayal and wishing he could hate the best friend he still ultimately loves. The parallel here between James' relationship with Sirius and Lily's with Severus is really quite marked.
I can't wait for an update, as truly this is one of the best Marauder era fics I've read as you've totally removed all the cliches and stereotypes authors so often rely upon, and instead created a complex web of friendships that I can't wait to read more about.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! This is probably the loveliest review I've ever received. I'm just working on editing the next chapter, it should be up in a couple of weeks. I hope you like it!
Your characters are very real and less than perfect. Very interesting.
Author's Response: Thank you!
You are certainly developing some interesting characters here. I look forward to more. I think the prologue will probably make more sense after you have finished the story.
Author's Response: It probably will! Thanks for reading :) I hope you enjoy the rest
I love you as a writer and have been following your story "My Constant" since you started writing it was it four years ago? (reviews from a harrylover_silverlining_88 are from me aha)It's one of the two best marauder era stories I've ever read. I enjoyed thoroughly the prologue of this story but I'm confused as to what your plans are. Firstly, you say you will only be writing a few more chapters of My Constant but with so much in the story still left to tell (lily and james get married, harry and Neville are born, they're betrayed by peter, marly dies etc etc). so will you be ending it before all that? I really hope not because I would love love love to read your take on it. Is this sotry going to be another version of the marauder era? So confused! haha Anyway, I love your work and trust you to give your readers great material.BUt let me know what your plan is! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your lovely review! My Constant is nearly finished (I've just got to finish chapter 34 and then maybe add one chapter to tie up some loose ends), and I won't be talking about anything that happens after they leave Hogwarts. This story is another version of the Marauder Era that's a lot more focussed on interpersonal relationships and the build-up of the war than it is about how the war affects the characters (though it will definitely be there).
i must say well done. you've realy written a great prologue. i'm already looking for chapter 1.
Author's Response: Thank you! Chapter 1 is written, but I think I'm going to post the next chapter of My Constant first.