Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 01/06/14 19:06
Chapter: The Lament of the Darkest Servant

Hi, Envy. I see that your poem is one of those based on a very clever rearrangement of whole lines, to create new meanings from previously-stated thoughts, and ingeniously ending up where it started from. (You can tell that I have never had the courage to try to write one myself.)

I was intrigued by your title, The Lament Of The Darkest Servant. I even checked the dictionary to see if there perhaps was another definition of the word “lament” other than the well-known one of “sorrowful statement”, but there was not, so I went back to the poem looking for indications that Bellatrix felt any sadness or dissatisfaction with her role in the Dark Lord’s service.

Perhaps line two of verse three holds a clue. To paraphrase it: Her rage and her knowing bathe all who seek what she fears. This is the only clue that there is something she fears, something about which she is not totally happy. (Line four says that she takes His poison, which might sound unappealing, but apparently she does so gladly, so that can’t be the thing she is lamenting about.)

Most of this poem practically explodes with her negative energy, even madness, showing the great power for evil that she embodied. Your language is certainly vivid, so much so that the reader scarcely notices that the lines are being repeated. Although the point of view seems to be that of the poor unfortunate people who behold her, we get such a look into her heart that we can scarcely stand to see any more.

Well done.

Reviewer: 1000timesingoldenink
Date: 10/13/12 1:59
Chapter: The Lament of the Darkest Servant

Creepy, evil...very Bellatrix. The repetition makes it seem like a kind of a mantra.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Argus Filch by BrokenPromise 1st-2nd Years
Written for the Anniversary Challenge v3 over on the boards - a double dactyl...
The Prisoner by weasley-malfoy-aficionado 3rd-5th Years
A prisoner of Azkaban reflects on what is and what could have been. Little...
Harry Potter and the Sinister Plot by weasley-malfoy-aficionado 3rd-5th Years
Patrolling the streets of Hogsmeade one snowy day Ron encounters an unexpected...
FEATURED
Come Home by WrenWinterSong 1st-2nd Years
Three year old Teddy Lupin ponders the photographs on the living room side table.
But You Haven't Lost Me Yet by Dawnie 6th-7th Years
The war with Voldemort comes and goes, and James and Lily find themselves struggling...
broken brights by Padfoot11333 1st-2nd Years
Harry's breath catches when he thinks of Ginny. I am not JK Rowling and...
CATEGORIES