Reviews For I Know
Reviewer: The owl
Date: 05/29/13 8:49
Chapter: I Know

Hey Gina!

I think I read this when you first posted it, but in the six months between then and now, I'd forgotten the exact details of your plot. In rereading, I felt its full impact once again, and that really is quite some impact. From the very opening, this seemed like it would be a dark, hard-hitting fic. The present tense, the instant mention of the darkness, and then the sudden drama of the enigmatic fist all set the tone. However, even that didn't entirely prepare me for how powerful this fic would be emotionally.

We both love James and Lily, so I suppose a James/Sirius fic by you only really could end unhappily. Right through the story, your prose conveyed this strongly. The prominent colours I noticed were red and black -- the Firewhisky and anger and the way James seemed to be in the dark about Sirius's feelings, and that moment of blindness without his glasses: it all added to the angry, tense mood. And then there were all of your different descriptions of their emotions. I particularly liked the image of Sirius with “eyes downcast as he takes a deep breath”. Well, liked isn't exactly right, but for me it really conveyed how serious (sorry!) this was for Sirius, as it seemed so unusual for him.

The only thing I was unsure of, in technical terms, was whose perspective this was supposed to be from. The majority of it seemed to be in James's head, which worked really well for me because it added to the tension of not knowing what Sirius was thinking or why he was so angry. However, there were one or two sentences which seemed to jump into Sirius's point of view, the main one being, “Sirius steps closer, all signs of sadness gone, a sudden strange confidence swirling around him instead.” I felt like it brought me out of the story a little, because all of a sudden I was wondering why I was in Sirius's head. The description itself was fab, and I love the alliterative “s” sounds. Perhaps if you had written a more significant, clearly structured section from Sirius's perspective it would have fitted in a little more smoothly.

I should probably confess now that I cried when I reached the end of this for all the right reasons. You convinced me so completely of the strength of their friendship and of Sirius's feelings for James, and I'm not sure who I wanted to comfort the most. James I pitied because he had done nothing wrong -- everything right, in fact -- and yet he still ended up in this horrible position and could do nothing to spare his best friend the pain he knew so well himself. His realisation and admission that no part of him wanted Sirius to kiss him again was absolutely the final straw for me. I could tell how hard he was trying to fix this for Sirius, but there was no way around it and it made for painful reading.

And then Sirius. The strength of his feelings were unavoidable from the start. Why else would he have punched James? He was a little bit scary when he was drunk, I thought. If anything, I was surprised at how well James handled that, but then I suppose he had got used to it, to a degree. The sudden changes in his behaviour and emotions -- anger to sadness to seduction to ever deeper sadness -- was very powerful. It felt like, through it all, he still didn't want to hurt James, but he was hurting so much himself that it was unavoidable. It's not a situation that can be fixed easily, even with magic, and even though I know that, I was still desperate for something to make this all better.

Despite being overwhelmed with feelings for James and Sirius, I still managed to notice some really nice plotty details in this. Of course, it was an emotion-heavy fic, so there wasn't a huge amount happening in the plot, but it didn't need that. No, what I mean are little details like the use of the Marauders Map. I could understand why James wouldn't tell his friends about Lily straight away -- anything to avoid jeopardising the relationship -- but it's something that Sirius would doubtless notice. That he had to find out through the map just added a whole extra layer of pain, I think.

And then there was the parallel of how they both tried to comfort each other. It was absolutely key to the story, I thought, and had a lot of power. The way that they're in the exact same position, foreheads together, holding hands, when they repeat that title line, emphasised that they really do mean it. Who else could truly know? That repetition, the realisation of the parallel, their parallel sorrow, really hit home for me and made for a very strong ending. It was an inspired structure, and it helped to submerge me in the story too, I think, because that moment of truly understanding the title intensified my connection with the characters.

Well done on this. It's rather different to most of what I've read from you, but it works really, really well.

~Sophie

Reviewer: dreamsnape
Date: 01/21/13 1:20
Chapter: I Know

I liked this story. It was true to the characters, and seemed like it could have happened. I felt sorry for both of them.

Author's Response: Ooh, thank you! That is a high compliment indeed, as so many of these types of pairings are really pushing the 'what if' strategy. In this situation I feel sorry for them too. Thanks so much for reading, I really appreciate the nice review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx
Date: 10/17/12 22:59
Chapter: I Know

YAYYYYYYY JIRIUS! :D

Gina, I LOVED this! (Not that that’s any surprise, lol.) It’s rather different from your James/Lily, which is the last thing of yours I read, and I think there’s something so much more beautifully angsty about this story which is made even more heartbreaking because I know they don’t end happily, at least not on Sirius’s part. :(

Drunk!Sirius is a bit scary, ngl. And yet it is completely in character for him, I think, given he was so depressed in OOTP and likely bordering on becoming an alcoholic, too, which makes me rather sad. :( But that’s what makes this fic so powerful -- the fact that James being with Lily could set him off like that just proves that he really was in love with James all along, and I refuse to believe otherwise at least in my own head canon. :D

Awwww he gets so jealous! Poor Sirius. And he even admits he’s trying to be happy for James but can’t and that just makes it so much sadder. And then he tries not to say anything, and I can’t help but want to scream at James to just understand already, lol.

I wish James returned Sirius’s feelings! They are so hot together -- but I see why they didn’t end up together. After all, James loves Lily, and I think the way you set it up is so, so IC of James -- and, of course, you know James inside out, so I’m glad things played out the way they did, even if Sirius ended up worst off.

Oh, typical of Sirius to blame the drink. Sigh. AND THEN JAMES SAYS I LOVE YOU TO SIRIUS AND OH I AM JUST FLAILING SO HARD SQUEEEEE.

You are Siriusly amazingly fantabulous, Gina. I am so glad to call you a friend, and I really do not deserve such fabness from you, honestly. I heart you!

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: So glad you liked it, dear! It was a thrill to write! Remember when we were chatting and you mentioned your SPEW prompts? I may or may not have stalked those a bit. I had this drabble and when I saw James/Sirius and saw unrequited I was like OH OH OH! And it just literally wrote itself. But, to put it in perspective, I also beta-ed Jamie's piece, wrote Sirius's boggart, and that battle you did for me. Hence the angssssssst! But, it could have gone like this - like you said, in this story, I tried to keep in iC and have it make sense in the end. Poor Sirius. Can you imagine? Bit like that moment in Monochrome between him and Remus *sigh* However, I must agree on the hot thing because MERLIN can I picture this, lol! Anyway, that's rambly enough. A tremendous thank you for the review and yet another HAPPY BIRTHDAY! So glad you liked it, you deserve it! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: HumanHorcrux
Date: 10/17/12 22:10
Chapter: I Know

My mind has been blown. Yet another wonderful story, a great piece of writing, but James and Sirius? I'm still trying to digest it. I guess I'm guilty of being a complete L — J shipper, but wow. :D

I must say that if you don't think that it would happen, yet you can write something like that so convincingly, it's just more proof of what a fantastic writer you are. :D

I love the setting, it's kinda ominous, and you can almost hear the slow, creepy music playing in the background. You make it seem perfectly plausible, which makes me scramble to catch up with what has just happened. Good job, and Happy Birthday to Soraya. :D :D :D

Author's Response: Wow, I don't feel like I very often blow people's minds, so I'll take that as a high compliment! Thank you! As you've read a fair few of my stories, you know I am the biggest J/L fan possible, so it always sort of amazes me that I can pull off something like this. It's actually the second time I've written James/Sirius - the first time they were actually together! And I've written James/Remus too! Eep! LOL! I guess I just like trying to make it a tiny bit plausible within the scope of James/Lily. Glad I succeeded here, it was a very visceral scene for me to write, but fun. Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews, they are so very much appreciated!! ~Gina :)

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