I haven't read much fanfic recently, and this was a fantastic story to remind me how good it can be.
I think your interpretation of Sirius is very interesting, and you address his problems with complexity. A lot of writers just write about Sirius having a problem with Lily, but in this (the way I understand it) she's just a catalyst to the unravelling of his life, and to me, the cause is really his family. I thought Sirius' hesitancy about joining the Order was very good, because so often he is interpreted as almost enjoying fighting in the Order. His relationship with Regulus here is very interesting, and especially the notion of what a brother is, and how he has tried to replace Regulus with the Marauders, but he can't ignore his brother.
I loved the repetition near the beginning about Sirius being happy for James ("really"), and the way you set it up as being cracks that gradually opened up. The writing in general was beautiful - just one comment, right near the beginning you wrote Only because Evans wants you too. - I think you probably meant 'to'?
You achieved the style of Sirius' point of view really well... it feels like we really are inside his thoughts, and the whole piece flowed and fit together beautifully. To me it seems like this story is tragic, even in the traditional sense, because in one way, Sirius really does have it all at school - popular and with three close friends, and by the end of this story he's in prison, but innocent, and going mad.
The first and last lines were fantastic and created a great connection between the beginning and the end.
So clearly I really loved this story and think you wrote it really well.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the story. It was actually inspired by the countless stories I've read where Sirius has a problem with Lily, which got me thinking about whether he really would have had a problem with her or if she would just be a proxy for everything else going wrong in his life. And thanks for pointing out the "too" "to" error, I went back and fixed it.
Wow. I'm quite speechless at the moment, sitting in front of my computer with tears in my eyes. Sirius has always been my favorite character and I have read countless Marauder stories that have helped me form a picture of a pre-Azkaban Sirius. But this one takes the cake. I've always felt that he got the worst end of the deal and this fic really captured the heartache I've imagined he went through. Amazing job and you have proven once again why you are my all-time favorite author. I bow to your brilliance. Bravo, bravo!!!
Author's Response: Thanks! I have a complicated love-hate relationship with Sirius (which makes him a lot of fun to write) but I do agree that he got a raw deal.
This has given me a bit to think about. Do I sympathise with this Sirius?
Author's Response: Thanks! It's always nice to hear I've made people think. And... do you sympathize with this Sirius?