I really liked the fourth line of each stanza. It gave the poem a strong sense of structure and continuity and even drama. One thing that jumped out at me, though, was that the last four stanzas all started with 'The.' The first three started well, with variety, but the 'the's became a bit repetitive in a piece that didn't seem to need repetition like that. Your vocabulary is too strong and imaginative to use 'the' so frequently. :) In typing all that, I just realized that there are seven stanzas - did you pick that number on purpose? :) Good ending. It really was a living death for him, wasn't it?
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Why thank you! ;) I didn't even realize they started with "the." I will see to it that I fix that. As for seven stanzas- happy coincidence. Hehe! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. I did my best to give it structure even though it was a free verse poem. Thanks again for your review. ~Nagini