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Reviews For Waltz of Treachery

Name: J-Holly (Signed) · Date: 03/23/13 10:03 · For: one-shot
I thought Salazar loved Helena Ravenclaw? I guess it doesn't matter when he's got no heart. It was a sad story that was somehow beautiful (I don't know how it can be beautiful when he dumped her but it just seems like that). I liked the slightest touches you made, the way you described their change of emotions. I'm adding this to my favorite story list.

Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much for the review! I think you're thinking of Helena and the Bloody Baron, but it's true, it doesn't matter when Salazar has a heart made of stone. I'm shocked and ecstatic that you liked it, and you noticed the little details. Just thank you.


Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 02/11/13 21:12 · For: one-shot
Very intense scene! I like the idea of them sparring while dancing - I think you referred to it as a fight, and it almost was. I could also totally see something secret like this happening between the Founders, so well played.
I would only suggest that you make sure you're staying in the time period so things don't jump out as too modern--bits of dialogue, even inner monologue, things like the ball and the waltz (which is probably a term not used for several hundred years after the Founder's time.) I also think Helga would have been a bit older than 20 when starting Hogwarts, and I think you could keep the nature of her character and her relationship with Salazar but still make her older and a bit more believable.
Finally-what does the last line mean?? Does it just mean Salazar left, does it mean he died, or does he kill her??
Nice job! That's so sad your claim expired!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review, Gina!

When I initially claimed the pairing, (I'll be completely honest) I had no idea what to do. So I looked to the cotillion, and since those were not around either, I decided on a ball. I think that the Founders had many dark secrets, and Helgazar is one of my favorite pairings. On the time-issues, all I can say is yeah. I didn't do my research on this fic. :/ I know a lot of people picture Helga as the oldest of the founders, but I always think she was the youngest. I wanted to make her young so that it shows that she is wise in many matters - especially running a school - but she is hopelessly naive and ignorant in others, like a certain Slytherin.

The last line does mean he left. :) Thank you so much for the wonderful review, Gina!

Name: Redwing (Signed) · Date: 02/08/13 21:38 · For: one-shot
Hmmm. I really like your dialogue. There are a few things I noticed, though. I saw some miswords: "ignorable" instead of perhaps something like "unavoidable" at the beginning, and "alluded" instead of deluded at the end, for example. I also felt that the pacing at the start was awkward, with a lot of sudden description interrupting the narrative flow and tone, while still neglecting to adequately portray the setting. Overall, however, I felt it was a solid effort. It was interesting to see Helga as the youngest of the founders, as so many choose to paint her as the oldest. Definitely a nod to your dialogue, as I said, which was a major help to your character building.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I'll readily admit this wasn't my best work, and it was my first attempt at the Founders. I'll double check the wordings, though. :) Also, on Helga's age: I have honestly always put her as the youngest of the four, with Rowena being the oldest. I don't know what it is, it's just how I picture her. I felt the need for the description at the beginning, as otherwise I felt it would have been a big white space; no one knows exactly where this is taking place. Thank you so much for your review, though!


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