Reviews For Unspeakable
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 05/14/13 15:43
Chapter: Unspeakable

Unusual subject here, I really enjoyed reading this poem which appeared to be from the perspective of the watcher as this happened, rather than each participant. So it made me think very much of Harry because he's an observer of the attack rather than the actual attacker (despite being inside Nagini at the time). I love the phrase 'sweet tainted air' which is a great foreshadowing of what is about to happen to poor Arthur.

I'd like to know why you chose the words 'diamond tail'. It's an unusual image, and I wasn't sure if you were referring to shape, shine and clarity, or hardness.

I would question the repetition of the word 'slithering' because you used in in the second and the last verse. Whilst it's a great word for a snake, I don;t think the repetition works here, although I'm scratching my head to think of something else that fits.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you, Carole! I didn't even notice that I used "slithering" twice. Whoops! As for the "diamond tail," I used that description because I always thought that JKR described Nagini that way- with a diamond patterned tail. The syllables didn't fit, so I shortened it to diamond. Since diamonds are rather sharp, it can give that kind of image of a slashing tail. And also, it could be shaped that way, and be rather pretty... Although Nagini was described as having an ugly triangular head. Anyways, thank you again for your review. I'm glad you liked the poem. :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
Friends and Foes by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
It took Harry and his friends years to discover who killed Colin Creevey. Ginny...
Not From Others by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
She may not have been able to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Ginny refuses...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst. Nominated...
CATEGORIES