Reviews For Unspeakable
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 05/14/13 15:43
Chapter: Unspeakable

Unusual subject here, I really enjoyed reading this poem which appeared to be from the perspective of the watcher as this happened, rather than each participant. So it made me think very much of Harry because he's an observer of the attack rather than the actual attacker (despite being inside Nagini at the time). I love the phrase 'sweet tainted air' which is a great foreshadowing of what is about to happen to poor Arthur.

I'd like to know why you chose the words 'diamond tail'. It's an unusual image, and I wasn't sure if you were referring to shape, shine and clarity, or hardness.

I would question the repetition of the word 'slithering' because you used in in the second and the last verse. Whilst it's a great word for a snake, I don;t think the repetition works here, although I'm scratching my head to think of something else that fits.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Thank you, Carole! I didn't even notice that I used "slithering" twice. Whoops! As for the "diamond tail," I used that description because I always thought that JKR described Nagini that way- with a diamond patterned tail. The syllables didn't fit, so I shortened it to diamond. Since diamonds are rather sharp, it can give that kind of image of a slashing tail. And also, it could be shaped that way, and be rather pretty... Although Nagini was described as having an ugly triangular head. Anyways, thank you again for your review. I'm glad you liked the poem. :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Marred Boy by Padfoot11333 1st-2nd Years
The two Marauders who were outcasts in their own homes. I am Padfoot11333...
A Seer Named Rosemary Snape by PlutoLovegood 3rd-5th Years
In 2018 Neville and Harry deliver a Hogwarts acceptance letter to Rosemary Snape...
FEATURED
whimper by psijupiter 6th-7th Years
I play to my strengths. As do we all. In the midst of the first wizarding...
Over A Mug of Tea by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
I think of her as a sister. The words rang clearly, loudly in his mind. I...
Gaps Between by lucca4 6th-7th Years
Falling in love teaches Dennis Creevey that sometimes, needing someone isn't...
To Fear the Flame by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
Neville hadn't expected his boggart to ever change. Perhaps he should have done.
Good King Ragnuk by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Ragnuk, King of the Goblins and master silversmith, forged a sword for Godric...
CATEGORIES