Reviews For Exile Vilify
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 05/16/14 5:18
Chapter: Like making chalk marks on water.

Look, I am a mother of a teenager (well, two) and I'd never object to twiglets!

That's my complaint. That's it. Everything else is perfect. this is such a brilliant and well crafted story. The suspense holds and the characters are forming nicely. I had to go back and read the first chapter because I couldn't quite remember what their connection was, but that wasn't exactly a hardship.

Um, you may have noticed that this review has no real structure to it; I'm in too much awe. So well written. I love your description because it's never superfluous and really makes me feel as if I'm actually there - especially the part when they're in their separate tents but she can hear his breaths and almost feel his grin. Gahhhh, fabuliusness!

Carole

Author's Response: I wrote that scene while we were having a conversation about twiglets on aim hahaha. As always, you are my inspiration, Carole. But really, thank you!!! This is such a lovely review, it made me smile from ear to ear. I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I mentioned to Kara when I sent it to her that I wasn't sure about the pacing and action, so thank you for reassuring me (Kara did, too. You know how fab she is). Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Julia x

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 05/13/14 13:48
Chapter: Like making chalk marks on water.

I hope they brought their groceries with them. I think the pervert and his friend got what they deserved. I'm mean like that. The "crack" is disturbing. Sounds like someone Apparated in or out of the alley.

Author's Response: I'm sure Nell grabbed the groceries especially the wine! I have to agree with you, the men deserved what they got. Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 05/13/14 12:33
Chapter: All beings are exiles as a matter of course.

That was an interesting start. And then, you put a Muggle-born in Slytherin. I'm wondering if Patrick was the boy in the scene when Nell was younger. Does her family know she's a witch? So many things to find out.

Author's Response: Thanks. Glad I've piqued your interest. That's certainly an interesting thought.

Reviewer: Oregonian
Date: 01/10/14 18:01
Chapter: All beings are exiles as a matter of course.

Hi, Julia. I am always happy to see something new by you, be it a drabble or a story, because I know it will be enjoyable.

You have chosen a thorny character as your main actor, establishing her personality from the very first sentence. It is easy to see why Nell has isolated herself from the other children on the playground in the first half of the chapter, given the verbal taunting that they torment her with, but in the second half of the chapter, when she is several years out of Hogwarts, she is still just as thorny and unfriendly, believing that most human beings are vile, and I am not sure why. Is it a protective personality shield that she put up around herself at an early age and has never learned to let go of? An attempt to wound other people first before they wound her? Her thought that she should stop being surprised at the lengths people would go to for a few extra Sickles gives us a hint that some particularly unpleasant thing has happened to her recently; perhaps we will learn about it via a flashback later. Meanwhile, I wonder why cheerful Patrick has chosen to stick with this perpetual sourpuss.

So far in the story, there’s not much plot. The section of the story dated 1982 establishes Nell’s personality and status as a Muggle-born witch, and the section dated 1997 establishes that she, like other Muggle-borns, is on the run from the Snatchers and the corrupt Ministry. The story summary doesn’t let slip much: two Muggle-borns (warning for sex) trying to survive (warning for violence). My impression from reading Deathly Hallows is that people on the run didn’t have any concrete plans (Harry, Ron, and Hermione being the exception as they hunted for Horcruxes), and that seems to be the case for Nell and Patrick also. So I wonder if the plot of the story will be what happens to them, rather than what they make happen.

Despite Carole’s earlier opinion that the idea of a Muggle-born Slytherin is preposterous, I would not say that it is too illogical to be a part of your story. Of course, if the members of Slytherin House could vote, they would never vote her into their House, but the fact is they have no vote, only the Sorting Hat has a vote, and it can be as arbitrary as it wishes.

But I agree with Carole about the gorgeous details in the first part of the chapter, the wonderful observations about the behavior of the children in the playground and the venom of the “mean girls” who torment Nell for fun. So true, even when all the children are Muggles, as we all know from our childhood memories.

Like all your work, stories or drabbles, the writing is smooth and graceful, easy to read, and leading us on to find out what happens next. Many authors whose chaptered fics I review abandon their very promising stories after writing only a few chapters, to the disappointment of all their readers, but I know we can count on you to carry us with you to the end.

Author's Response: Hi, Vicki! Sorry for taking so long to respond to this review. I love and dread getting reviews like this because it makes me feel great to receive one but also intimidated as to how to reply to such a well-thought response! Since I've recently got back into Nell's head, I finally feel adequate to reply. Yes, Nell is thorny but some people are, and I wanted to write a character who isn't particularly likeable. It irritates me that so many female characters must be amiable and optimistic to be considered likeable or worthy of being liked. Some people don't find it easy to get along with others or make friends and I think it's important to write those characters and to write them as MAIN characters too. Of course, this is only the beginning of the story. She has a lot of character development to go through! And I think she already has some likeable and relateable traits: she fiercely loves her family and wants to protect them at all costs, she also wants to save her own skin which is an entirely plausible thing to want. I don't think we can underestimate the impact loneliness and bullying can have on a child, so just because she's now an adult doesn't mean the way she was treated by her peers at primary and secondary school haven't shaped the way she continues to see the world. She has every right to think people are horrible in general - she was bullied as a Muggle and then she was sorted into a house that is not traditionally welcoming to Muggle-borns. Now she is being hunted by Death Eaters and the vile Snatchers for sport (the people who will do anything for a few extra Sickles). And, of course, as much as she hates to admit it, she's frightened. Fear makes people irritable. As for plot, I suppose you will have to keep reading to find out. There is a plot, there is a plan, there is an ending already written, and I promise to update this more regularly! Thanks so much for your review, I hope to see more from you as the story progresses! Julia x

Reviewer: Dad
Date: 09/18/13 15:11
Chapter: All beings are exiles as a matter of course.

Interesting pair if characters.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you found them interesting.

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 09/18/13 5:05
Chapter: All beings are exiles as a matter of course.

Love the story. So cute..... Okay serious stuff starts here, intermingled with very obvious fangirling glee and squee. OMH! This is great stuff. I know this is dumb, because I read a fair few of your drabbles, but I forget how well you can sustain tension and just how brilliantly you write. For instance, the description at the beginning of the story, and how effectively your words sum up not only Nell, but the relationships around her, just left me agog, agape and agaga. I could see those bitchy girls giggling about her in the park, and I could hear her fierce voice as she denied the boy's help. It was incredibly evocative, Julia. If I wore a hat, I'd doff it to you immediately.

On to the story. The idea of a Muggle-born Slytherin appears to be so prepostrous, and yet, you've made it plausible. She is very Slytherin in her defensiveness, her need to be alone, her utter belief in herself and the ambition that we glimpse in Potions, so I trulu believed - even from this small snapshot -that Nell was a Muggle-born that was also a Slytherin.

Oh, I am liking Patrick. He really does embody that somewhat innocent bluster of Gryffindor ... (I am now hoping he is a Gryffindor, although he could be a Hufflepuff and I'm now going to look utterly stupid when you reveal him to be a Ravenclaw!) Anyway, he is a great contrast to Nell because he still seems to be enjoying everything, which reminded me rather a lot of the lovely Fred and George and also Cormac (but then I'm obsessed with Cormac).

Sorry, I have wittered and gone off onto a Cormac tangent. This is so good, Julia, and I hope you get a shed load of reviews, plaudits and QSQ nominations for next year. FABULOUS STUFF! (But more Sacbior and his mascara, please)

~Crollalanza~

Author's Response: The next chapter is entirely from Scabior's POV ;) Thanks so much for the amazing review, Carole! I know OC heavy fics aren't usually that popular so I doubt there will be much interest in this fic but I am so so glad that you liked it, and we will be seeing some more familiar faces in the future. I've had Nell in my head for so long now that it's incredibly satisfying getting her out and onto the page. And I've had so much fun writing Patrick, so I'm glad you like him too. Hm... my characterisation could be a bit off if it turns out he's in Ravenclaw, no? Ha, I like that comparison between Fred and George and Cormac... I can definitely see it! Anyway, thank you!!! This review made me grin like an idiot :)

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