Penname: xxbabewithbrainsxx [Contact]
Real name: Soraya
Member Since: 06/22/09
Website: soraya786.livejournal.com
Beta-reader: Yes
Status: Administrator
Bio:
Hi there! I’m Soraya. I’m seventeen years old and am a proud Muslim British Bangladeshi. I live in East London and have loved reading and writing from a young age. I’m rather obsessed with Harry Potter (aren’t we all?), tea (not a surprise considering I’m a Brit) and good grammar. Recently, I've also got into the Supernatural fandom. After watching the first episode, I had already fallen head over heels in love with Sam Winchester, so it's no surprise that I am now a huge SPN fangirl as well as a Potterhead.

My writing has changed quite a bit over the years, and I think you'll probably notice that, the further down my author page you go, the more the quality seems to drop :P I started posting stories on here at the age of fourteen, and at nearly eighteen, I can see how much my writing has improved since those Dark Ages. So, for that reason, I would advise you stick to the more recent stuff, if you choose to read anything of mine.

My Stories

Just so you know, these are posted firstly according to what kind of pairing, if any, is in the story, and then in chronological order in accordance to my own canon, not necessarily the order in which they were posted.

Canon Pairings

Checkmate (James/Lily)

My first chaptered fic. It’s terribly written, but I still have a place in my heart for it because of how much fun it was to write. This story has now been deleted on MNFF, but if you really, really want to read it, you can still find it on FF.net and HPFF. (I advise you don't, though :P)

Second Childishness and Mere Oblivion (James/Lily)

Written for Round One (Major Characters) of Madam Pomfrey’s Character Clinic Triathlon, this one-shot is about James and Lily’s relationship getting rockier and rockier after they left Hogwarts, especially when Lily is faced with the trials of being a wife and motherhood. A little smutty.

My Love is Always Here (James/Lily)

This was a belated birthday present for the wonderful Gina/Gmariam, aka the queen of James/Lily. This is mostly about Lily dealing with becoming a mother for the first time and the problems (as well as the joys) that come with that.

There's an Answer (Remus/Tonks)

Written for Sophie/The owl for SPEW Summer Swap IV. Tonks is sent on an interesting baby Auror assignment to do with werewolves. Remus and a dangerous Muggle are thrown into the mix, with interesting results.

Left Behind (Remus/Tonks)

An expanded version of one of my LoveNotes, written for SPEW. It's a missing moment set between OOTP and HBP, where in my head canon Remus and Tonks have been together, in secret, for a few weeks already and Remus is then told to go on his werewolf mission. Slightly smutty.

One and Only (Remus/Tonks)

Written for the lovely Alex/Ithinkrabis2people in the Ravenclaw Christmas Drabble Exchange. This is a missing moment set just after Tonks’s outburst to Remus in the hospital wing at the end of HBP.

Out of My Life (Harry/Ginny)

My only AU (kind of). I tweaked a small part of canon in this -- basically, Harry actually said goodbye to Ginny properly when he broke up with her. Very angsty, and this is only up for sentimental reasons, as I wrote it during The Dark Ages (aka when I was fourteen).

A Different Kind of Magic (Harry/Ginny)

Written for the You’re Having My Baby challenge at SIYE. Ginny finds out she’s pregnant, but Harry receives the news before her and therefore has to tell his wife. This was my first ever story at MNFF. It was written when I was thirteen, and it definitely shows.

A Different Kind of Magic 2: Parenthood (Harry/Ginny)

A sequel, obviously, to A Different Kind of Magic. Ginny goes into labour, and both Harry and Ginny realise what it means to be parents. Again, this was written from Back in the Days.

Same-Sex Pairings

The Caustic Ticking of the Clock (Rowena/Helga)

Written for the Great Hall Cotillion, this story is my only Founders story so far, and it’s about Rowena and Helga’s secret relationship. I am proud of this one, which doesn’t usually happen :)

Catching Fire (James/Sirius)

This was written for SPEW 007. My prompt was “Embers”, and it’s set just after Remus’s second transformation with the Marauders. James is badly injured, and he and Sirius realise, inadvertently, that they might just have feelings for each other. I like the pairing but still think the story needs work. One day I will go back and edit.

Flicker and Fail (Katie/Leanne)

This was written forSecret SPEW, and my recipient was the absolutely fabulous Alex/welshdevondragon. It’s my take on Leanne and Katie’s relationship from way before they were even at Hogwarts as well as what eventually happens to Katie in HBP, when she was cursed.

Next Generation

Skinny Love (Louis/Lily)

Written for the 2013 Great Hall Cotillion. Set during Teddy and Victoire's wedding, Louis helps Lily come to terms with her bulimia. This one was pretty difficult to write.

Blood and Roses (Scorpius/Rose, Scorpius/Dominique, Dominique/OC)

Written for the Great Hall Mysterious Maychallenge, this was my first Next Generation fic about Scorpius, mostly, and the trials he faces after his daughter is murdered.

Broken Glass (Louis/Lily)

This is the story of when Loulily really began. After the deaths of his immediate family, Louis is finding it hard to cope, even six months later. Lily somehow helps. It’s a little smutty. I’m proud of this one, too :)

The Highway of Regret (Scorpius/Lily, Scorpius/Rose, Louis/Lily)

Also written for the Great Hall Cotillion. It’s my one and only Scily. This is all about secret relationships and mistakes people make. Lily’s angry at Louis, and Scorpius has just broken up with Rose; when Lily gets drunk in the pub, things... happen. :P

I Will Lay Down My Heart (Albus/Rose, Scorpius/Rose)

Written for Round Two (Minor Characters) of Madam Pomfrey’s Character Clinic Triathlon. Albus has been in love with Rose for years, but what happened with them when they were younger has put a dent in their relationship. It doesn’t help that Rose is actually in love with Scorpius, either. This is smutty too.

One More Night (Albus/Rose, Rose/Scorpius)

Companion piece to I Will Lay Down My Heart. This goes into more detail about Rose and Albus's changing relationship as well as the aftermath of the events in said companion story. Probably the smuttiest thing on my page. :D Written for the Great Hall Cotillion 2013.

Glass (Louis/Lily)

This was written for the Great Hall-iday challenge for the Operation: Mistletoe prompt, and this was where my love for Loulily began.

Poetry

Excruciatingly Painful

This is about how five men in Potterverse dealt with remorse in different ways.

Always

This poem is about how Remus feels about Sirius (not slashy, btw).

Regret

Written for the Magic in Music challenge over inPoetry, Anyone? This was set to the track “Obliviate” in DH1 and is about Hermione modifying her parents’ memories.

Farewell

Written for the Goodbyechallenge in Poetry, Anyone? This was about saying goodbye, and how difficult it could be.

After All This Time

Written for the Deathly Hallows challenge inPoetry, Anyone?. I ship unrequited Snape/Lily, and this is probably the only time Snape will be on my author page, lol.

Hush, Dominique

Written for the MC Kreacher challenge inPoetry, Anyone? This was written from the POV of Bill Weasley after his wife’s death.

Miscellaneous

Bruises

Written for the Great Bannermakers’ Hallchallenge. The banner I picked had Merope Gaunt on it, and it’s probably my darkest story; it’s definitely the only one to have a dubious consent warning. It’s about, as you might guess, the abuse Merope suffered from her father and brother.

In Care (Marlene/OC)

Marlene McKinnon, as a care kid, eventually falls in love with another care kid, Jamal Olawumi. But he's a Muggle, and keeping her world secret proves difficult. This is definitely a story I would like to revisit and tidy up.

Just Across the Bar (Sirius/Rosmerta)

Sirius is just about of age, but obviously Rosmerta has misgivings about having feelings for Sirius, who is still a student. Written for the 2013 Great Hall Cotillion and also smutty.

Butterbeer Bottles

Written for SPEW 007. My prompt was “Juggling”, and it’s just a silly piece of dialogue-only banter between Remus and Sirius. Sirius realises Remus likes Tonks, and he tries to persuade Remus to act on his feelings.

Hanging by a Thread (Katie/Oliver)

Written for the lovely Jess/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor for Secret SPEW VII. Katie is grieving and drowning her sorrows in alcohol and Oliver is trying his best to save Muggles, while trying also to bury feelings for Katie that he thought he had long since forgotten about. There is also, surprise surprise, some smut in this.


And that’s it! Along with being a moderator, I’m also a member of SPEWand SBBC. I hope to see you around on the forums; feel free to contact me via PM or review if you have any questions or comments about my stories!
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Reviews by xxbabewithbrainsxx
 

Sir Oscar O'Reilly by MagEd
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 63]

Summary: Assigned to work on a project together, James Potter and Lily Evans find themselves getting to know one another through a silly game James has devised. A light, fluffy, slightly cliche one-shot. "Don’t look at me like that! I’m going to behave today." *one-shot*

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 8411 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/18/08 Updated: 10/28/08


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 12/24/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That made me laugh so much! Now...off to the library to find this film, Ten Things I Hate About You. :D

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thanks! You've never seen Ten Things I hate About You? You're going to love it! :)

 

Apparently Asleep by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 297]

Summary: Nymphadora Tonks lives under a shadow. Both her cousin and her aunt are in Azkaban believed to be in league with Voldemort. She knows Bellatrix deserves to be there- but Sirius?
Remus Lupin is an outsider. He’d once had three good friends- now two are dead and the third has been locked up for murder and betrayal.
They had met once before, when she was a child, but as Tonks grows up they find themselves thrown together- far too closely for Remus’ comfort. He’s always yearned for a normal life but knows that is impossible. Can Tonks convince him that he deserves happiness?

Nominated for a 2009 QSQ award in the Best canon Romance category. Thank you.

Categories: Remus/Tonks Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity

Word count: 121429 Chapters: 21 Completed: No
Published:
10/20/08 Updated: 03/18/11


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 03/18/11 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21 - Work, Rest and Play

Carole! Why do I have to wait so long for updates?? This is my favourite ever Remus/Tonks fic and the waits between chapters is unbearable, so please, I'm begging you to update as fast as you can because I really enjoyed the chapter, and even though it's always worth the wait, sometimes it can be pretty agonising, so...yeah.

I liked Tonks's take on what happens in GoF. The action was very well written. I think I've said before about how I liked the Bill/Tonks and it makes Ron's suspicion of Molly's motives in HBP seem not so far-fetched, while sticking to Remus/Tonks. Remus was written beautifully; and the change in how he referred to Sirius (as Sirius rather than Black) was also something that JKR did in PoA -- I don't know if this was intentional or not, but I liked that Mary pointed it out.

I think she's getting a bit suspicious now -- which, of course, is a good thing. I'm looking forward to when Remus meets Tonks again. Finally, I loved the end part, when Tonks says, “Poor Mum, she wanted a girl so badly, and ended up with this odd Metamorphmagus who would rather climb trees than play with dolls.” I think that's quite true -- even though Tonks has pink hair, she's never been a girly-girl, and I can picture her as more of a tomboy. :D And it was so sweet when Tonks looked at the moon and told Bill that she's already lost Remus. I hope her heart's going to be singing for Remus again soon!

Please, please, please update ASAP. I know...RL can get in the way at times, but I just love this story so much and am dying to know what's going to happen next!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Aww, Soraya, it's not RL real;y, it's all the other fics I'm writing, plus the OF, and then the challenges I keep getting into.But I know a three month wait isn't good. Anyway, thank you very much for the review. I did intentionally have Remus refer to Sirius by his first name. It's something I noticed as well in POA that even Harry calls him Black then it changes to Sirius. Thanks again ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 06/25/10 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18 - Double Bluff

Oh my God! You had me scared there! Serves Tonks right, though, she shouldn't have did something so risky. I always wondered how Kingsley found out about Sirius, but I never thought that the whole Animagi thing would come from him! Great chapter overall, and I loved the pretence kept up by Remus and Tonks when they were trying to cover for each other. Kinda funny in a cute way.

Hope you update the next chapter soon! How much longer is it going to be? (For me, the longer the better!)

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thank you. Hmm, not sure how long it will be. I know where it will end and have that half written in my head. It's the journey to get there - ha ha. Thanks agaIN ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 03/21/10 Title: Chapter 16: Chapter 16 - Old Dogs and New Tricks

Brilliant! I was never a great fan of R/T, but this story made me change my mind! Can't wait for the next update!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'll try and get a new chapter out soon. ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 04/24/10 Title: Chapter 17: Chapter 17 - Interrogation

Hmm...interesting. So what happens now? Is this the moment when Kingsley finds out that Sirius is innocent? Can't wait for the next update!

Author's Response: Nor can I ...LOL. Thanks for the review.

 
Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 12/12/10 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20 - It's not only Bludgers that cause pain.

That was totally worth the wait. I really like the way your stories all link together like that. Mary and Remus have always been together in my mind too, in school that is. And I like the implied Tonks/Bill, it ties in with what Ron said in a way.

I hope Mary and Remus break up soon over something really big. That would really make my day. And I bet Remus is going to walk in on Tonks and Bill together or something, that would be really funny. I can't wait for the next chapter!!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Awww, poor Mary. She's lovely really. Not sure all your dreams will come true, but you never know. Thank you for being understanding aboput the wait. Sometimes RL just gets too much. ~Carole~

 

Summary: Typical James, always trying to save the day; atypical Lily, letting her feelings get the best of her. My take on how in the world they ended up together.

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 4368 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/13/09 Updated: 03/14/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 05/13/10 Title: Chapter 1: Another year, another...fight?

I liked this story, a lot. But I still think that Pettigrew should have been part of the story - he did play an important role in James and Lily's life so loathsome charactor that he is, he should've been in the story.

~Soraya~

Author's Response: In the first draft of this fic I DID have Pettigrew, but I couldn't write him. He was completely OOC and it was easier to just drop him completely :P

 

Summary: Past Featured StoryWhen Lavender Brown returns to Hogwarts for her seventh year, she knows things will be hard. Professor Dumbledore’s death has scared everybody, and with her Muggle-born mother in hiding, she makes a promise to her father to stay safe.

But to stay safe she must ignore her instincts and turn her back on her friends.

This is a Lavender Brown/Blaise Zabini story, but also concerns that last year at Hogwarts when the Trio were a'hunting Horcruxes.

Thank you to Laura (bookofsecrets) and Terri (mudbloodproud) for beta'ing the first chapter, Alyssa (Harry4lif) for the second and Emma (Amortentia x) for taking over the reins. And Natalie for the last chapter.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I doubt that surprises anyone.

This story won the 2010 QSQ for Best Chaptered Non-Canon Romance. Thank you to everyone who nominated, appreciated and judged.

ATTENTION: Because of prissy glitch on the archive, stories with a rating about 3rd-5th cannot be read. I have lowered the rating to enable access, but the content remains the same. This is a PROFESSORS rated fic. Read at your own discretion - the sexual situations warning is there for a reason.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 47427 Chapters: 9 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/23/09 Updated: 05/25/10


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 07/01/11 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 - Before I Sleep

Hi Carole! Okay, so you know I normally veer far, far away from Professors rated fics. But you mentioned in a review response once that you ship Lavender with Blaise, so I really wanted to read this.

I've fallen in love with rarepairs, and this is no exception. I'm glad you didn't make it completely fluffy-smutty. I mean it was smutty but it had a plot too, and a really interesting one at that. It was really romantic, with the backdrop of the war still there and imminent. Characterisation was spot on and even though in my Potterverse Blaise Zabini is very, very different, I still have fallen in love with your Blaise Zabini, LOL.

I read this pretty much in one go. Well, two goes, really -- three chapters yesterday and the rest today. I really enjoyed the story and hope you continue with this pairing because it's definitely your niche and I can see you worked hard on it and love the pairing loads. Well done!!!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thank you very much, Soraya. I can't write fluff that well, but I like pairings so that's why I write this way. I also wanted the theme of this story to be about forbidden things. Lavender and Blaise's relationship was passionate and daring and sexy and utterly reckless because of the times they were living in. I hoped to show that there was more to this that just sex, and I can see you appreciated that there was a story as well, so thank you so much for that. My version of Blaise, I hope, still fits with the canon we know from the books. He's aloof, not afraid of Malfoy and is ultimately rather selfish. He is also an enigma so I see lots of different versions of him that could equally fit. The only ones I don't like are where he's some kind of laughing gigolo. LOL.

Thanks again ~Carole~

 

Just Another Girl by jenny b
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 18]

Summary:

Scorpius: the boy who has dated almost every girl in the school.

Rose: the girl who despises him for it.

Scorpius: the boy who never could resist a challenge.

Rose: the girl who wasn’t quite as immune to him as she thought.


Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 2486 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/11/09 Updated: 04/18/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 06/09/10 Title: Chapter 1: Just Another Girl

This is a great one-shot. Well done!

~Soraya~

 

I Am by Cheshlin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: A parent sits and thinks about a young child.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 125 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/09 Updated: 05/01/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 11/06/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Is it...Molly and Ginny Weasley?? That's what comes to my mind. Lovely poem, once again. It makes me think of me and my mum sometimes :D

~Soraya~

Author's Response: I was actually writing about me and my daughter, but thought it could fit with any mom/daughter combo in the Potter books. :) Molly and Ginny work, as would Hermione/Rose, Andromeda/Tonks, ect. :) I'm glad that you enjoyed this poem also. Cyns

 

Summary: Severus Snape has always regretted calling Lily Evans a Mudblood - so much so, that he is reluctant to even let go of the memory. It's a painful memory; depicted in slow motion and complete with raw feelings. But it's all he has left to remember the fiery red head girl who stole his heart and never gave it back.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 208 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/22/09 Updated: 05/01/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 08/09/10 Title: Chapter 1: All Because Of A Stupid Name

That was really good for your first ever HP poem! It was well written and it told their story incredibly well.

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for another one of your lovely reviews, Soraya! It's much appreciated :)

--Emma

 

I Still Remember by jenny b
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: As kids, they were best friends. Practically inseperable, climbing trees every day at the Potters. It was always them. Teddy and Victoire.

But things change. And so do people. They grow up, move on. Make new friends, and forget all about lazy summers spent sitting in treetops. For a while.

But it doesn't take much to bring the memories back. And Teddy is determined to do just that.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1897 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/02/09 Updated: 05/09/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 07/09/11 Title: Chapter 1: I Still Remember

Since you’re leaving SPEW, Jen, I thought it fitting to leave you a review, as a goodbye present. *sobs*

I am a canon girl through and through, so I was delighted to find a Teddy/Victoire story on your page. I, like most other fans, have always wanted to know how Teddy and Victoire got together, after hearing about James II jabbering about it to Harry and Ginny. Needless to say, I absolutely adored your take on it. I loved the prompt, climbing trees, and how you used that prompt to write something very sweet and believable and romantic. I loved how the story began and ended (pretty much) with the tree, and how much time you covered in what is, in actual fact, a rather short oneshot.

I thought the story flowed incredibly well; at no point was it choppy and it never dragged. You moved on from when Teddy was young through to his (and Victoire’s) Hogwarts years, and then to post-Hogwarts, and I loved how you lingered on certain moments of those years. It wasn’t rushed and the conversation at the end, with Teddy and Victoire, was very sweet, yet real as well. It made me happy to know that a story can be sweet and realistic — it’s quite a rare occurrence in fanfiction.

As always, your style is simply flawless. I couldn’t stop any grammar or spelling errors, although something to think about is the use of the word “graduated”. I’m Britpicking here — in Britain, you only graduate when you’ve left university. It was probably the only thing that I thought could use changing, purely for accuracy, but it in no way detracted the fabulousness of this story, rest assured.

Another thing I loved about the style was that it was simplistic and easy to read — and I especially loved the ending. I can definitely imagine Albus spying on them, as well, and I thought his characterisation was spot on, as was Teddy’s and Victoire’s. Teddy had his own character, as opposed to being the cardboard cut-out of Remus or Tonks, and I really liked that. Albus’s, ‘Kiss her!’ was simply adorable, and smelled suspiciously of George — I bet he inherited that from him.

The plot, like the style, was simple, but very effective. I can really see how Teddy and Victoire might have promised each other and been reassured by the fact that they could see each other every day, and actually just have drifted apart. You told the story marvellously, and I loved how you described the way their separation began and developed into complete ignorance of each other, especially in this line:

At first they would stop and say hello. Then that drifted into smiles and nods, until finally there was just ignorance.

To finish, I’d just like to say that if this was included in DH before the epilogue, I would be more satisfied with the book, because you took a pairing that we didn't know much about and told a compelling story which I adored. Thank you for writing such a lovely story. I shall miss you, Jen, but at least we still have LJ.

*squishes*

 

Your Eyes by Nitwit Blubber Oddment Tweak x
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Ariana Dumbledore was a blessing in disguise.
Her father went to Azkaban because of her.
Her mother died because of her.
Her brother's future was post-poned because of her.
But her other brother loved because of her.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 352 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/10/09 Updated: 05/24/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 08/09/10 Title: Chapter 1: Your Eyes

That was so sad! MY eyes are blurring with tears right now. That has got to be one of the best HP poems I've ever read, and I've read quite a few. I don't blame you at all for liking this one. It was absolutely brilliant and I hope you keep on writing poems and stories. It was really really deep and it made me think. Well done, keep it up and don't stop writing!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: WOW. Thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews you've left on my fics :)

I'm glad you enjoyed this one, even if you did tear up a bit ;)

--Emma

 

Oblivion by Nitwit Blubber Oddment Tweak x
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: Past Featured StoryAlice Longbottom lives in a terrifying world; a world surrounded by darkness and unknowingness. Occasionally, these rare moments occur where the fog is lifted and everything just makes sense. At least, until she is once again thrust into devastating oblivion.

Can now be found on Audiofictions - Episode 126!

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders

Word count: 1965 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/25/09 Updated: 06/02/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 09/10/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hello, Emma!

You said in your author’s notes that this was your first time writing a tear-jerker. After reading your poems, particularly Your Eyes, I have come to the conclusion that the tear-jerker bit of it has become your signature. You have a very distinctive style in writing, and it really stands out to me, particularly in this story.

As well as the powerful language you use — I’ll get to that in a minute — I thought the style of this piece (in this first person/second person style that I still haven’t figured out what the fancy term for it is) was really effective. I have recently read a lot of brilliant pieces in this style, and this is another one. It really brought out how personal the story was, from Alice’s POV. You pulled off her voice flawlessly, and you conveyed Alice’s emotions throughout so, so well. I thought it fitting that Alice would be addressing her son; in fact, if I didn't know that this was fanfiction, I would have been thoroughly convinced that this was canon. In canon, the issue of Neville’s parents isn’t explored as much as I would have liked, but then, since it’s Harry’s story, that’s what fanfiction is for :)

I was completely blown away with how frighteningly accurately you manage to get into Alice’s head. The words you used were simple, as they should be, and yet you described Neville so well. What I loved about this the most was that this was just one scene, one snippet of Alice Longbottom’s life, and that’s what made it so heart-wrenching and beautiful. The scenario that you presented — Neville visiting Alice and giving her the Droobles — was one that I was familiar with, and one you made Neville and Alice familiar with as well. I particularly liked the part when Alice mentions she remembers how the gum tastes. The use of present tense here really helped get me into the moment, you know? A very good choice, and one that made this piece even more poignantly written.

The whole premise of the story — that Alice could sometimes remember things and was not completely insane — is one that I think was very well-executed. It was also very real; my pet peeve is when a sensitive issue like a mental disorder is mishandled, but you did so very well. The way Alice was unable to understand why Neville was behaving a certain way, and how she didn't even recognise her own husband... it was so tragic, yet so perfectly written. I really liked how you described Frank, and how Alice seemed to understand that Neville and Frank were related. It’s the simplicity of your writing that I think is what makes it so brilliant; there’s a real raw feel to it that I love.

Your use of dialogue was very well-placed and sounded natural, as well. Neville was perfectly in character; so often in canon, he is seen as clumsy, but here, his caring nature is really brought out, and my heart really did go out to him after reading this. Particularly when Alice seems to recognise that Neville is indeed her son... I really was close to tears by this point, it was so touching. And Neville’s characterisation was spot on because in the books, he always became serious and the hopelessness in his personality was shown at its fullest at those points. You built on that so well, and I could see why Neville was so desperate to be with his mum. The ending was so emotional as well. The repetition of “I love you” worked so well, and you conveyed Neville’s words heartfelt words brilliantly.

All in all, Emma, an excellent piece. I really need to start reading/reviewing more of your work, because I really loved this story and I think you definitely did the Longbottom family justice. Well done.

~Soraya~

 

A Truth Universally Acknowledged by luinrina
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
~ Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Narcissa Malfoy wishes for her son to marry, but Draco is not content with her decision. Though, when a young woman enters his life in an unusual way, he finds himself wondering if he feels more than just the need to possess her.



This stories is the prequel to A Christmas to Remember, but can be read alone.



Categories: Draco/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 6123 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/30/09 Updated: 05/30/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 12/28/10 Title: Chapter 1: It couldnt be any more beautiful

I really liked this. It was an interesting insight as to how Draco and Astoria got together. Nice one!

~Soraya~

 

The Prophecy Complete by Gmariam
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Sure on this shining night,
The winds of change have taken flight.

A short poem about the night of the final battle, based on the line "Sure on this shining night" from Permit Me Voyage by James Agee.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 147 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/08/09 Updated: 06/08/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 01/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: The Prophecy Complete

The pace, rhythm and flow are all excellent here. The rhyming works very well and I love the rhyme scheme, which I don't think I've ever come across before--but maybe I'm just ignorant! Anyway, I thought this poem described what happened to Harry on the day of the Battle very well. Nice one!

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, Soraya! I'm glad you liked this poem. I wish I could remember how I came up with the rhyme scheme. I'm sure I read other poems like this - I've written another with the same, but haven't posted it. This poem was inspired by some music, but the original text is completely different. Anyway, it was challenging trying to stick with this layout, so I'm glad it worked! Thanks again for reading, I really appreciate the lovely review!! ~Gina :)

 

Moments by ahattab33
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 29]

Summary:

Have you ever thought about those moments that really defined your life? The ones that were pivotal, life-altering? They can be as obvious as your wedding day, as defining as the birth of your child...or as small as a moment in time, as subtle as a glance between one person and another.

The greatest moments of our lives can sometimes be the shortest and simplest of them all.

A missing moment from the Half-Blood Prince and part of the "Moments" series.



Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1469 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/30/09 Updated: 07/04/09


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 08/03/10 Title: Chapter 1: Moments

I thought it was a really good story. I usually hate 2nd person, but this story and another one on a different website, SIYE, proved me wrong. I loved the POV and the playfulness and the restriction. Overall, a really good one-shot. :)

~Soraya~

Author's Response: The playfulness but fleetingness was what I was going for, so I'm glad that came across. Thank you so much for the read, and for the review! ~Amanda

 

I'll Pick You Up by MagEd
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 362]

Summary: Past Featured Story“Guilt brings people together. It’s a takes one to know one type thing.”

James Potter has always been a spoiled, arrogant, lazy show-off. When he enters his final year at Hogwarts School, he’s Head Boy . . . and he’s still a spoiled, arrogant, lazy, show-off. But because of that terrible summer, he’s also guilt-ridden.

Lily Evans has always been a self-righteous, impatient, temperamental know-it-all. When she begins her last year at Hogwarts, she’s Head Girl . . . and still a self-righteous, impatient, temperamental know-it-all. But the first night back — and the murder that takes the entire school by surprise — leave her guilt-ridden as well.

With the darkness that’s surrounding the Wizarding world slowly seeping, at long last, onto the grounds of Hogwarts and into the lives of James Potter and Lily Evans, what comes next?

*Completed*

Categories: James/Lily Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Sexual Situations

Word count: 138022 Chapters: 22 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/07/09 Updated: 09/04/10


Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 06/04/10 Title: Chapter 16: You Climbed Up Here to Fall Apart

LOL..."I kind of love you too" was definitely my favourite line. It was a good thing that you didn't cut it off at the "bloody cardigan" bit - I hate cliffhangers. Besides which, I do think that the cardigan is Jilly's because the girls can get into the boys' dorms, so any of them could easily have put the cardy there. Update soon, please...

~Soraya~

Author's Response: I had a lot of fun writing that -- I'm glad you liked it :) And that definitely would have been an awful cliffhanger -- I'm way to attached to them. Thanks for the review!

 
Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 05/29/10 Title: Chapter 15: They Found the Note Down in Your Car

I've spent about two weeks reading this when I can in my spare time, and boy has it been worth it! I like how Lily already knew that Remus was a werewolf - I'm not surprised really, I always thought that she would know. This story seems just as good as Someone to watch over me. Can't wait for the next update!

By the way, is it still going to be 20-22 chapters, or longer?

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it just as much as Someone To Watch Over Me :) And, yes, it does just seem right that Lily already knew Remus was a werewolf. ;) The next chapter should be up soon! And yes, it looks if, at this point anyway, it's still going to be 20 to 22 chapters long (probably 22, MAYBE 23).

 
Reviewer: xxbabewithbrainsxx Signed
Date: 09/14/10 Title: Chapter 22: Epilogue

*Sniff* That was one of the best stories I've ever read on MNFF. I lost my internet for four whole weeks so I've been deprived of much fanfiction during that time. But now, it's back.

The three epilogues were great. I guess you felt that there was so much to tie up at the end and you certainly wrote it very well. I love the way you included Cassie at the very end.

My favourite part of this story was when Lily was asking James about Remus being a werewolf. The fact that she was angry at him for risking his life...well, yeah, I guess that touched my heart. My favourite line, without a doubt, is "I kind of love you too". And my favourite characters are Lily, for her fierceness and effortless intelligence, James for his cockiness and how thoughtful he was and Remus, simply for being Remus. I think that this story would've been a brilliant prequel to Harry Potter. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought that JKR wrote it, that's how good it was.

I really hope that you don't stop writing multichapter James/Lily stories. They're so spectacularly written and engaging that I really want to read another one. But, if your life's that busy, I guess I'll just have to read the one/two-shots instead.

OK, I think this review is getting a bit long now! Before I finish, I just want to say that I really liked your characterisation of Marlie and Lenore and Grace. They were great OCs and I almost feel like they're my friends too.

And that's it. I shall stop wasting your time now. Honestly, though, you're a great crime writer and I can't wait for anything else that you write.

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Thank you so much! That's such high praise to call it a favourite :) I definitely did feel there was a lot that had to be addressed before I could call it truly finished, hence the gigantic epilogue -- I'm glad you liked it :) And I'm so glad you liked how Lily and James were written! And, oh, the OCs -- they're always a risky business, so it's a relief to know you liked them! And, honestly, another idea for a Lily/James multi-chapter story is taking shape in the back of my head (although I'm trying to ignore it) . . . *sigh* . . .

 
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