I am a recent member of the Harry Potter fandom, but I have always had a passion for the written word, and I hope to fulfill it here. I live in a relatively boring corner of Idaho, and I like Kokanee and a good book!
So, I suppose you're wondering what's up with my username. Even if you're not, this is how that happened. No, I was not aspiring to be a Gryffindor. I can't think of any house to which I would belong less than Gryffindor, in fact. It was a moment of clarity that I got while I was battling with myself about whether I should want to be Sorted into Gryffindor to be like Harry or to be Sorted elsewhere and follow my own path. I thought it to be much like the contemplative scene in Hamlet when he weighed taking his own life. I'm not trying to be melodramatic. That's simply is what popped into my head when I was trying to sign up to leave a review. :D
Any questions or comments about my work? Please shoot me an email at: email@example.com — I'd love to hear from you!
Summary: Albus Potter is lost: guilt and grief have driven him to a desperate search for the Deathly Hallows, and Harry must confront his son before it is too late. Their confrontation, however, ends in disaster as Albus disappears with two of the Hallows.
As he continues his search for the Resurrection Stone, Albus remembers the shadowy road that lead him to his confrontation with his father – and must face both his brother and the tragic loss that has driven him so far down dark paths.
Albus must journey deep within to conquer the darkness that surrounds him. Will he find what he seeks? Or will Albus be lost to his loved ones forever? This story is now complete.
Captivating story, to be sure. It will be a relief to get further into the story, because I don't think I could possibly feel any more bad for the Potter family if I tried. I almost cried when Albus drank that potion and when he attacked Harry.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I really appreciate you reading this story and leaving a review. I feel bad for the Potters too. My husband thinks I set out to write sad stories but this story has morphed completely since I started it. I hope you enjoy the rest, thank you again for reading it! ~Gina :)
Summary: The year is 1945 and Albus Dumbledore has been asked by the Aurors to identify the body of a student of his who has died under suspicious circumstances, but this student was no ordinary student. Tom Riddle was extraordinary. As Albus begins to search for Riddle’s murderer, he begins to understand the true depth of Riddle’s involvement in the Dark Arts and why it was he was murdered. The murderer may be closer to Albus than even he suspects.
Thanks to Butterbeer Drinker for being a wonderful guide and encouraging me to finish this gauntlet when I was about to quit!
I am eternalangel of Ravenclaw and this is my submission to the seventh round of the gauntlet.
An absolutely fascinating tale! It was descriptive and laden with potent imagery, and every word had meaning to the story, which is so important in a two-shot.
The thought of Harry getting to live his life sans-Voldemort is heartening, and Dumbledore living longer is comforting.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for this review. I heartily appreciate it and I'm glad that you enjoyed it so much!
When times get rough, vigilance may be the only thing that you have left to fall back on.
As an Auror, Kingsley Shacklebolt has seen many horrors, but few compare to this. When he discovers the body of a trusted friend and colleague, Kingsley must unravel the mystery before it’s too late. Surrounded by deceit and losing all faith in a corrupt Ministry, Kingsley must move quickly in order to stop another murder from taking place; a murder that would destroy all he ever fought for.
Time is short as Kingsley rushes into a confrontation that will that challenge everything he ever believed in.This is Gonz of Hufflepuff writing for the Gauntlet Round 7.
What a powerful story! It was a perfect representation of what discrimination drives social outcasts to do in the name of equality, even if it is a 'if I cannot be your equal, then you shall be mine' principle.
Absolutely well done!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review. Your comments are very true. When left with no way out people lash out in good and bad ways. Jo showed us Muggle-borns who joined the fight against Voldmort, but someone disillusioned could go another way
When Rose Weasley finds her best friend dead, she risks her job and forms an unlikely alliance to track down the murderer...
An entry to the Gauntlet Round 7 by Cirelondiel of Hufflepuff.
Wow, what a completely riveting cliffhanger! Absolutely brilliant, with a clean, concise style, and a solid plot.
Me likey, lol.
Summary: It has been two and a half years since Fred died and George Weasley still feels the pain of loss. So when Ginny and Hermione turn up at the shop to ask him to fill in for a sick Ron at the Quidditch Winter Ball his initial response is a definite no! But Hermione’s plight, for some reason, moves him and he reluctantly agrees to partner his soon to be sister-in-law to the ball. With new robes and some dazzling dance steps, he little realises that this could be the night his life changes for the better.
Awwww! This story is just so relentlessly cute! I love it, and it's nice to see a feel-good story for George after losing his twin.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Yeah, George deserves a bit of happiness, doesn't he? ~Carole~
Summary: A little yellow poem you might construe as you desire.
Knock knock! Hello there! We're discussing this poem in the Susan Bones Book Club, and I loved it so much, on top of discussing it, I wanted to review it for you, as well!
The imagery in this poem is so poignant with the yellow overtones. Using colour to illustrate meaning and feeling is one of the highest and oldest forms of art there is, and so many people don't see it in writing. :)
The way you use something as mundane and regular as breakfast and make it into a cherished memory, at least to me, suggests that she (Ginny, if I understood your review responses correctly) had other memories and thoughts that she wanted to cover up. Also, her desire to make it six o'clock just a little longer adds to my interpretation of that, as well.
It's funny that you have Harry singing and whistling, because I've always painted him as having musical talent that no one ever noticed. It just lends yet another thing to the pile of awesome that you have put into this poem.
Okay, now for the next part - speculation. We've been talking about what it was that makes Ginny and Harry want to pretend that everything is okay. Is it empty nest syndrome, or did something happen with one of their children? From the subtle hints, I'm guessing that they're both getting up there in years, so it could very well be the former, but there is an aura of grief that I wouldn't associate with empty nest syndrome so much as thinking about something bad that had happened. You said that you had an event in mind, so I guess I'm asking you what it was in a very roundabout way, lol. Personally, I voted for estrangement from one of the children - probably Albus. He's my shoo-in for being troubled.
I hope you don't mind the speculation, but I really am dying to know. :D
Cheers and happy writing!
Summary: Draco gets sorted into Hufflepuff, very much to his dismay.
Yay, I finally got around to reading this, and I'm so glad I did. I have to admit, I was laughing like a madwoman through most of it, and I can appreciate how hard it was to make this idea work, but you did beautifully.
"I'll hex your bollocks off" made me choke on my beverage. I'm still laughing at that one, as well as Draco's run-in with Luna. It's odd how her bluntness and cheer truth can disarm anyone, even someone as ordered in the mind as Draco.
This is definitely not the kind of review I wanted to leave (I can do better), but I hope you remember this fic every once in a while and smile at yourself for writing it, because I know ten years from now, I'll look back, think of that one line, and laugh my butt off.
::passes a fresh mug of Ebil Juice::
Cheers and happy writing!
Author's Response: Thanks Jess. It took a lot of thinking on how to make it work. But I'm glad it did. =] ::takes Ebil Juice and chugs it::
Summary: Harry had always been a person of few words. Ginny had always been the talkative one.
That much is obvious.
From Harry and Ginny's POV
Is that so incomprehensible? That a seventeen year old is fighting to beat the darkest man in the world, not for glory, not out of vengeance, but for, well, his best mate’s little sister?
It seemed that I should be the only one that was allowed to run to him for comfort, for reassurance. It didn’t seem fair that I had to share Harry Potter with the world.
Beautiful work! It was so wrought with raw emotions, so that anyone could appreciate the deep emotional trauma brought upon Harry and Ginny because of the war. Very clean, concise format and vocabulary.
Lovely story...I love a good make-up after a spectacular break-up!
Oh, by all means, write more, because Rose and Scorpius have so many deliciously ridiculous potential problems and pitfalls that would definitely make for good literary fodder. They're almost as unlikely/perfect as Hermione and Ron.
Summary: What do you when you're a Dark Lord who can't kill anyone? Ever since his last Avada Kedavra went so horribly wrong, Voldemort just can't bring himself to sling another one. In his long journey back to emotional health, Voldemort must battle post-traumatic stress disorder, learn about religion, and, finally, realize that love really does conquer all. Just not exactly the kind of love Dumbledore had in mind...
What a wonderfully ridiculous tale! I enjoyed it thoroughly. :-D
It was like a wizard tale. The clever Slytherin helps a hag who later repays the debt. Except that Rose Weasley wasn't a hag, and Scorpius didn't expect to call in the favour.
*Winner of the 2010 Next Generation QSQ award*
I said I was reading this again, and it brought back fond memories of why I fell in love with fan fiction. :)
I really like how well you structured the characters, not making any of them 'perfect'. Many characterisations of Rose paint her as being a know-it-all like Hermione, who wasn't bad at anything, save for less than perfect marks in DADA. The fact that she sucks at Potions makes me like her more and identify with her, as I was complete bollocks at chemistry.
Scorpius as you've portrayed him is... interesting. I've never met anyone with that level of photographic memory before, but I've heard of it. To say that he stumbled upon it would be disingenuous, because one common misconception is that Draco was stupid. He certainly was not, though he did act like it. I really like the fact that Scorpius could be given a gift, plus the Slytherin tendency to keep it to himself.
The chemistry between Rose and Scorpius is phenomenal. they both seem to pick up on so many little things about the other, but you brouight them together without changing who they were. They simply made new discoveries and re-analysed what they each knew about themselves.
The story of Phineas Filch is interesting. While I don't think anything could get me to read a story about it, the idea of Filch and Madam Pince 'coming together' (I get a little queasy thinking about it) leaves me to wonder how it happened. I'm sure you have it all in your head (my sympathies), but if you ever wrote a story and simply alluded to it, I would definitely be interested in knowing more about it.
The way you portray the Potter cousins makes me smile. They are, by and far, some of my all time favourite characters, and some renditions of them make me cringe. Yours, however, make sense. They are enough like Harry and Ginny, but just different enough to be themselves, and though I already told you that I adore your Albus, I'll say it again. Very well done.
I really, really like what you did with Hugo. He is the stunning portrait of a Ron clone, but eventually, due to his mother's influence, no doubt, he softens toward Scorpius and helps when he got Nifflered (can't think of what else to call it). He's just the right amount of jerk and just the right amount of brother.
Your Ron and Hermione are perfect. The way Hermione shared the mind-scarring tale of how Hugo's bun was put in the oven was a great example of that. When she gets nervous, the Hermione in the books would tend to ramble facts and so forth to keep her nerves from fraying. It's just so hilarious when I read it because I think we all felt that way when our parents would reference anything to do with any icky sticky that may have occurred. *shudder*
Lucius was a total win for you. He was just the right proportion of Malfoy, grandfather, aristocrat, and bastard. It was obvious that he cared about Scorpius's future, but he was just blinded enough by prejudice to not realise that his grandson was wildly intelligent and fully capable of taking care of his own stuff. Plus, not wanting to be a certified bigot helped in my assessment of Scorpius's intelligence, but that's just me. :)
Your Astoria is vastly different from the one that lives in my head. Though this is by no means a bad thing, as the one in my head happens to be a raging racist harpy, it's just so interesting to see how others see Draco's life after leaving school and the Death Eaters behind turned out. Personally, I am all for a reformed Draco, but that's because I painted him that way in my own story.
And your Draco is different from what I expected. I always thought that, after the war, Draco would lose that awe he had of his father, since all the horrible things that had happened to the Malfoys during Voldemort's occupation of their home was his fault. Your Draco seems sort of... intimidated by Lucius. While I can't be certain about whether there is a right or wrong Draco out there from Jo, I do think that both of our different interpretations are possible. Draco never really did show any spine, so yours is, in truth, the better one. :)
The comic book collection. That was a beautiful detail of yours. It lends a tone of, 'Hey, he may be gorgeous, but he's a nerd just like me.' Which I assure you I adore. The fact that he is kind and patient with the children is very telling of how Draco and Astoria raised him. He wasn't coddled or spoiled or cruel.
The Slytherin supporting cast is interesting. I would be interested in knowing who their parents are. Edgar, undoubtedly, is Greg Goyle's boy, but who is his mother? I sort of had an epiphany that it was Pansy, since first, that's who I married her to in my story, and second, because you described Orna once as pug-faced. Since he fancied Orna, I figured that she was like his mother. Most men don't like to admit it, but generally, they end up marrying a girl a lot like his mother. As for Nott and Willoughby, I would be interested in their parentage as well. Perhaps you could make a family tree of some sort as a supplement to your little universe.
Felix is an interesting idea. Training a Niffler would take an immense amount of patience, which makes me certain that Draco is an awesome father. Nobody would train a little destructo-bot like a Niffler without really caring that it was done properly. That's another detail about both Draco and Scorpius that I appreciate.
As for the Grangers, I really like the way you made them. Granddad Granger is just eccentric enough without being a total whackjob, and Nana Granger is just the right amount of sweet and doting, but ever the dentist, she plies the grandkids and company with sugar free snacks. The obsession with dentist crime novels was just too funny for words. Though I'm sure they're out there, I can't believe that Granddad Granger actually went out of his way to find them and amass such an... odd collection.
And last but not least, Harry. I freaking heart Harry so much, and I'm so happy that you made him the way you did. I tend to make the poor bloke miserable and tortured, but you made him content and not being chased by maniacs. I guess, in my mind, I need to know he's all right, or it just may rob me of sleep. He's caring and forgiving, since he's willing to assist Scorpius when it was obvious that the boy was looking for a way out of his family's pure-blooded xenophobia. Draco didn't have the stones to stand up to Lucius, but Scorpius did. I think Harry, and even Ron, respected him for that. I noticed the change in Ron's attitude toward Scorpius after Harry probably explained the Knights of Walpurgis thing.
I do have one small gripe, which I didn't notice (or know) the first time I read the story. Lorcan and Lysander are canonically mentioned to be twins, but you have one as a first-year and one as a fifth-year. Did you do that intentionally, or was it a little 'well, crap' moment? I had a few 'well, crap' moments in a good number of my fics that it took about three or four reads to realise that I'd done it, or even people pointing it out to me. I was just wondering whether it was intentional or not. Either way, it didn't bother me overly much, but now that I've tattooed my brain with canon, it was just something that jumped out at me.
Also, in the very first chapter (and I fail for not copy/pasting which line it was), you spell Phineas's last name as 'Finch' instead of 'Filch'. It was correct everywhere else, but it was just a typo that Word would have never picked up, a beta could easily overlook, and generally something that could go unnoticed quite a lot. I just figured you'd want to to know.
All in all, this is still an excellent story and high on my list of favourites. I look forward to reading the sequel, especially with the original fresh in my mind. You're a beautiful writer and storyteller, and I felt that my last review fell flat and that I wanted to properly convey what I like about the story and what I think when I read it.
Now that I have left a novel-length review, I shall bid you adieu, after which you shall think kindly of me instead of lamenting my terrible rhyme. I really loved reading your stuff, and again, I look forward to the future with your Rose and Scorpius.
Cheers and happy writing!
PS - Say hello to Courage for me. :D
Sometimes, there's a review so awesome, it's impossible to reply right away, because if you did, all you'd be able to type is WOW.
You're a SPEW member, so you might have seen that the "April Discussion" in the SPEW forum (over on the Beta Forums for anyone reading who doesn't know SPEW is a group dedicated to leaving positive, constructive reviews) is What Makes A Good Review? When I answer that, I'm going to include a link to this review, because I think it's a stellar example and worthy of a Reviewer of the Month award.
I think that's a vital quality of a good review. You read the story to enjoy it, and at the same time you notice the aspects that make it enjoyable. Characterization. Details. Dialogue. Plot. You give specific examples and explain why they struck you in a certain way. Feedback like that is a gift to writers. Instructors tell you "Write to be understood," and I believe writers want to do that in a deeper way than having readers comprehend their clear, simple language. There's a need for the story to resonate, for the characters to make an impact, and the protagonist to be identified with, and understood.
The concrit, too, is well done, sandwiched in between constructive praise. ;) I used the family tree Jo drew, which doesn't have birth dates, and took artistic license to make them different ages. By the time I realized they were twins, it was too late to do more than tell each reader who noticed, "Yes, I missed that, thank you for overlooking it." The Finch/Filch typo, though, wasn't in this story (I don't mention Phineas until chapter 3). It was in the "Lost" sequel's first chap. Someone on another site pointed it out, I quickly edited on MNFF as well, counting myself lucky no one had noticed, LOL.
I don't believe it's possible for a review to fall flat unless it's given in mean spirit. Even a simple update soon achieves its intent to encourage and put a smile on a writer's face. It's only negativity that fails to achieve its effect, because you can't keep a true writer from writing.
Thank you Jess for encouraging me to write better (and update soon, heh). I mean it about the forum thread, I may just post this reply. :D
PS - I said hi to Courage for you and gave him the hug I wish I could pass along to you!
This chapter is absolutely precious. Nothing sexier than a guy that's good with kids...and wandless magic, lol.
Author's Response: How did I miss your review! I agree, a guy that's good with kids and can work magic with and without his wand is a wizard above Galleons. :D
I read this one a few weeks ago, right after it was finished. I can't BELIEVE I forgot to review. This was my first fan fic, and it was stellar. I absolutely love this story and everything about it.
The change in Draco was as interesting as the lack of change in Lucius. That man is truly a bastard, lol. Even Harry turned out to be what I'd expect. The characters were rich and well-defined, as was the plot.
I look forward to more of your excellent work in the future, and maybe when I grow a proverbial girl-pair and write a story of my own, I can perhaps match up to your quality.
You're reviewing now, that's what counts! It's like a present after Christmas when the post-holiday blues kick in and you've put away the decorations. Yay! A present! :D
I always said Snape couldn't turn out to be evil because if he was then Jo was teaching kids that people never change and no one deserves a second chance. That would be horrible! I wasn't a fan of Draco crying to Myrtle, but it DID show that he's emotional, and he definitely lacks killer instinct, so why couldn't the war give him an attitude adjustment? Especially since Jo had him marry someone other than Pansy.Thank you for looking forward to another fic! You should definitely write a story. The world needs more of them. Forget about anyone else's work when you do, though. You have a unique voice and a unique take on the Potterverse to share. Just remember that readers can't read what you don't write! Get to work. :)
Summary: Hermione has lost everything – until she finds someone who understands, whose companionship transcends her faith in everything she has ever known. Songfic to ‘Hysteria’ by Muse.
Okay, so I intended to leave a brilliant review for this, which outlined just how much I really like this story. Unfortunately, the captain of my brain ship fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into a traffic light... meaning that I really can't come up with anything coherent (let alone SPEW-worthy). So I shall just ramble, fangirl, and whatnot, and you shall humour me, for you just rock like that.
I dislike Dramione for three reasons: One, the characterisation is usually abominable, improbably, and plain stupid. Two, the plot devices are typically contrived, staid, overused, and again - improbable. Three, I prefer Harmony and Draco/Anyone else but Astoria/Ginny/Hermione. However, you have broken the mold, my friend. This fic carries none of these hot-button foibles, even to the point when I actually like the pairing as you've written them.
I really like the fact that you included Draco, but you didn't overwhelm the story with both characters. It was mainly from Hermione's POV, which was fitting, because she is the one facing the moral quandary in this story - at least, she does more than Draco. I read all the reviews for this before I read the story, so everyone has pretty much said everything that I wanted to say. I could copy/paste Nikki's review, and it would sum up my thoughts fairly well. About the swearing thing, I tend to lean more toward Hermione not being big on the f-bomb. Draco - oh, hellz yeah. I picture him to be a mean ol' potty mouth, but in DH, Hermione thought 'Merlin's pants' was a real epithet. That disposes me to think that 'fuck' is probably out of her realm, even as scarred and empty her soul is in this fic. I don't suggest changing it, because it does fit if one looks past what we know of Hermione in a 'happily ever after' situation, but that's hard to do when we've been brainwashed by canon into thinking that nothing but rainbows and kittens could abound from Voldemort's death.
Harry offing himself doesn't bother me in the least. While I personally wouldn't kill him (as he is my favourite major canon character), I understand why you did what you did any how you did it. I would actually be interested to see a story that showed Harry's downward spiral through your perspective. If it's already written... yes, I am too lazy to troll your author page, but I will someday (which will probably be this week, since I'm down to two more SPEW reviews to do in a relatively short amount of time).
One part in particular didn't quite ring true for me, though.
There’s nothing to fix, Hermione. You’re Harry’s. And Ron’s.
To me, Draco will always call Harry and Ron 'Potter' and 'Weasley.' It's not horrible or annoying, but it's the only small, small blemish on your pristine characterisation of Draco.
The ending paragraph of this is pure awesomeness. She's taking that one last taste of Draco before giving him up, but as she does, she realises that she had been lying to herself when she tried to say that it was only physical and she didn't truly care that he was leaving. He was, though, her last tie to reality, to control, if you will. He was keeping her together when she would have fallen apart after Harry died. Her lifeline had been cut.
Well, that's all of my rambling for now. Perhaps, when I want to read this again, I will leave a real review, but until then... sleep beckons.
Fare thee well, and I shall see the in SBBC sooner rather than later. Take care and happy writing!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the review, Jess! You may not think it's SPEW-worthy, but I'm easy to please - anything more than a paragraph tends to awe me. ;) Thank you so much for your con-crit! I'm still on the fence about Hermione swearing but one of these days I'm bound to be pushed over in one direction or the other! Oh, I see what you mean about Draco's line - I was thinking too deeply in Hermione's characterisation throughout this fic and I didn't even give that a second thought, but he probably would say 'Potter' and 'Weasley'. I'm glad you condone Harry's suicide - I love him too, and I hate killing him off! ANd I also tend to prefer Harry/Hermione, so I'm quiet glad you enjoyed this, even when it isn't your usual ship of choice!
Summary: Keedie Dante has experienced many amazing things during her time at Hogwarts, including the hushed up drama that was the Chamber of Secrets. However, with two overachieving friends and a headmaster who does not even know she exists, Keedie feels that perhaps her seventh year will not be too spectacular. However, Dumbeldore sees her potential as a writer and enrols her in a simple writing course. Here, she meets the mysterious and terrifying Tom Riddle and they instantly get under one another's skin. She is drawn to his dark determination towards some unknown goal and he is fascinated by her, in every way. However, Tom's friends do not approve of Keedie and her unconventional ways and Keedie has many people trying to keep her away from the dark young man as well. Something inside tells Keedie that she can make him better, but even he assures her that this is an impossible task. But she's not one to give up easily...
"He is a dark one, Keedie. Try not to let him consume you entirely."
This story has the characters Albus Dumbledore, Armando Dippet, Moaning Myrtle, Rubeus Hagrid, Aaron Dante, Harry Potter, Ebony Abbott, Minerva McGonagall, Melena Creevey, Ollivander, Gregor Holmwood, Horace Slughorn and, of course, Tom Riddle and Keedie Dante...enjoy!
Winner of "Best Romance Between Other Characters" and nominated for "Best Female OC" in the 2009 Quicksilver Quill Awards
Wow, the Epilogue was everything I expected and more. It was wonderful, and it's nice to know that Keedie wasn't completely forgotten in the end.
I hope some one-shots are coming in regards to a few things. First, did Tom become that horrible screaming baby thing that Harry saw at King's Cross? Did he go to Wizard Hell, or wherever evil men went? Did he indeed feel remorse? Did he spend eternity in the afterlife with his beloved? Did McGonogall tell Harry after the battle about Keedie?
I have a thousand questions and a thousand possible answers floating around in my head, much like after I read Deathly Hallows. Even if you don't do one-shots about some of these, I still have my overly-active imagination to keep me company after a good, old-fashioned tearfest thinking about these star-crossed lovers. Looking forward to your further works!!!
Author's Response: Thanks! There may be a one-shot about the events in the afterlife for the protaganists. As for Harry finding out about Keeds, I am planning a post-Hogwarts story where a student tries to find out who she was. So it's not really goodbye. Thanks for R&R ing :D
Wow...just wow. I'm not sure I know what to say. I cried, dammit, i CRIED when Tom did. I'm not sure if it was because of what happened or what I know it made him become. It made me sick in the heart to think of pain that great.
However, it also made me disappointed (not in your tale, dear, it was fantastic!), disappointed in Tom, who with all his brilliance, with all his heartbreak brought about by the ever-mysterious essence of love, still couldn't see it for what it was after that, and it destroyed him.
I have to say, the manner in which the story is told, and the passion with which it was written, I wish it was a book I could buy so I could curl up with it and read over and over. I've already read through all the chapters twice, and I can see several more times in my future, in a place of honor amongst JKR's work itself, amongst the hallows of the Harry Potter compendium.
Author's Response: I'm speechless after such a lovely review. Bravo yourself for making my day!! Please do re-read....I don't know what to say. Thanks so much...the epilogue should be up pretty soon. Thanks again :)
Well, having come this far in the tale, two sleepless nights later, I find myself anxiously awaiting the next chapter. I'm sure I can't bear to wait and see what else happens. It's an awkward thing, feeling anxiety and dread on behalf of the ever-evil Riddle. Tis truly a well-spun tale.
Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing. So glad you liked it. Two chapters to go :D
Just checking in again! I've already read this story three times total. Still amazing, still poignant, and still my favorite MNFF so far. I've decided to write one of my own.
You STILL rock!
Author's Response: As do you, for your lovely reviews. The earlier chapters could use a little loving actually.... :D
This won’t be a really long review, since Leanne and Nikki pretty much said everything in their reviews that I would have. That doesn’t mean that I can’t extol its virtues, however. A healthy dose of ‘squee’ never hurt anyone. :-D
First off, I really love this fic. It’s dark, a little creepy, and had just the right flavour of covert romance. In other words, this is a great late night read! What drew me in was the image of Charity sitting alone in the woods. Immediately, that screams to me that something terrible is going to happen.
Both Nikki and Leanne mentioned the adjective overload in some spots, and while I do agree a bit, just a couple trims here and there would fix it right up. Personally, I’m fine with the way it is, but some readers find a bunch of adjectives distracting. Anyway, on to the next subject.
I should really not be so fascinated by blood and gore, but I can’t lie… I really am. ^.^ I remember getting chills as I read this, thinking to myself that surely, this thing stalking the night wasn’t going to tear this poor bloke to shreds. But it sure did.
I do have a question burning in my mind. Why on earth was she out in the freaking Forbidden Forest with no shoes on? That bothered me to the point that I wanted to reach into the monitor and slap her a couple times. Was it a conscious decision on your part to make her shoeless, or did it just happen that way?
The relationship between Charity and Clandestine is very passionate when I see the way that she feels when he touches her. And when she describes that ‘secretive spice’, it confirms that it has ascended to ‘that’ level. For a teacher to risk his job and his reputation, not to mention his freedom if she’s young enough to get him sent to prison, for this love affair, it had to have been pretty intense.
If I may conjecture? It was said that the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was cursed after Professor Merrythought retired. Is Clandestine one of those who fell under the curse of that position? Though it would have been more violent than the other position-vacating occurrences. I just thought that it could be a matter of interest.
Your use of onomatopoeia to describe the stalking beast was great. If it was quiet in here instead of just dark, I probably would have been looking over my shoulder all the rest of the night. It was simply fantastic to feel like I was running in the forest along with our professor. Each snap of the twig, each ominous growl, gave me goosebumps.
As it was mentioned, Dumbledore in this is a total win. He’s a man that knows what everyone is doing, and the fact that he called Charity by her given name instead of Miss Burbage (I’m assuming that this is who it is) says that he knew about her and Clandestine. Since he was the Headmaster, if he disapproved, he could put them both in a whole world of trouble, but he didn’t. That speaks of Dumbledore to me. Very well done.
The encounter with the beast at the end was extremely awesome. She heard it coming, and I could just see it in my head, this woman/child backing away in fear from the thing that killed her lover. Your description and flow really made it so much more powerful, and I can’t even explain how awesome it is to feel like I’ve been pulled into this fic.
When it transformed into the headless woman, I said to my self, “No freaking way! This is awesome!” It was like… gah, I fail at being able to convey just how incredible/scary/horrible and in general spectacular that sequence was. I really like that it ended where it did, since it left an air of mystery as to what the headless woman was going to do to Charity – if anything – and whether the headless woman/beast had even seen Charity spot her. My head was spinning with questions, but they were the right kind of questions – the kind that let me conjecture on my own, and I really like that.
If I may conjecture again… is this black dog this a Grim? The Lexicon says that seeing one ‘portends’ death. Even though the timeline of this says that we don’t see her in the books for another 40 years after this (again, assuming that this is Charity Burbage), give or take, we know how she died, and it was nearly as horrible as how Clandestine died. Am I reading too much into this, or did you intend to make this reference?
Anyway, I really like this fic, and it should really be included on the next Halloween audiofic podcast. It’s got just the right feel for it.
That’s enough from me, so take care, happy writing, and I shall see you around SPEW!
Author's Response: The shoes, don't know why I did that. This is one of those stories that I just sat down and wrote, and all sorts of things find their way into those, LOL. On the Grim, I think the prompt was just that, but I did some research outside of JKR's potrayal and found the story about the headless woman. Thank you for your review! xx
Summary: On Christmas Day of Teddy Lupin's seventh year at Hogwarts, his godfather gives him a present he will never forget - the chance to meet his parents.
Awww! This was such a tear-jerker. I just wanted to hug Teddy after the stone's connections were broken, and the way you described the character interactions were so poignant and riveting, it made my heart hurt.
I'm so happy I read this, it made my day!