I'm Rachel. I love love love Harry Potter. I have randomly been writing fan fiction since Deathly Hallows came out, but didn't really start for real until this year. My favorite ship is Lily/James, but I love the relationship between Sirius and Remus- not in a romantic way, but the friendship between them.
Currently working on a chaptered Marauder fic as well as a series of letters between Sirius and Remus.
My friend told me I had to read this story and she was right! This is now one of my favorite Marauder era fictions. Keep it up, and please update soon (though I'm sure University keeps you very busy)
I loved this. It was very well written. The bit about the way Ted could transform seemed a bit Twilightish, like the way Jacob and clan could transform, but it made sense. Nice job!
Very cute. My only question is how old is Victoire supposed to be? She's at least a sixth year in the epilogue, though more likely a seventh year. Was she there to look after the kids since she was the older cousin? Otherwise well written, though how did Rose meet Rupert? Did she go to the Muggle school?
Very sweet. I think it is realistic Harry would use the stone so Teddy could see his parents. Harry was the only person who understood what Teddy has gone through his entire life. Harry was always stronger when he got those brief glimpses of his parents and it helped him understand things better after. He needed to hear them say they were proud and that they loved him instead of having other people tell him.
I think you did a spectacular job of portraying Teddy's emotions and the dialogue with Remus and Tonks was spot on. They sounded parent like but still the characters we loved from the books. Great job!
So, I find this a very interesting story. I have a few problems with it, but they did not prevent me from enjoying it. So I guess "problems" isn't the right word. But here are my thoughts, most of which you can do nothing about considering how far you are into the story, but I would love to hear what your thinking was.
-It seems a little forced for it to be Dudley's granddaughter. I mean it did require two teenage pregnancies so his granddaughter was at school at the same time as the next-generation kids. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but like I said it just seems forced. Obviously there is nothing you can do now, but it is just something to think about with future stories.
-Would Vernon and Petunia have let Dudley and his daughter live with them? We know they loved their son, but they loved their reputation more.
-Like everyone has said, would Dudley become a mini-Vernon. I liked the part about the owls, I could see that happening, but I thought he might be a bit more accepting of magic. Might still get nervous around Hagrid though if they ever meet again...
-So good things now! Dandelion is a great character and I can't wait to see how you develop her. This is a very original story and I really enjoyed reading it. Sorry for this being long, but I do have one more thing. I recall J.K Rowling saying that Dudley would never have a magical kid because Vernon's DNA would stamp out any magical Evans DNA. However, we don't know who Dandelion's father is- so it would be interesting if it was a wizard and she was actually half-blood. I don't know how that would even fit in or how she would find out, but it would be interesting.
a very well written story, however i do highly doubt Tom Riddle would have had a girlfriend. He had no real friends, so a girlfriend just seems not to fit. But otherwise a very good and interesting story.
Yes! I'm so happy it's up! I love one-shots that are just the narrators thoughts, so when i read this earlier I loved it. I see you reworked the bit about the patronus shape, it makes much more sense now. I love it!
Join the crowd for some wintery fun with a Quidditch-ized version of the Christmas classic song, 'Sleigh Ride'.
Merry Christmas to everyone at MuggleNet Fan Fiction!
Yes! This is perfect! The words fit almost perfectly with the tune, there are only a few parts where I either have to say the word slowly or quickly to make it fit. Otherwise I love it!
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Honestly, after listening to this song a dozen times, I can divulge that the parts to which you're referring, the dodgy bits, were the same parts in the original lyrics that didn't seem to fit in with the song, either. I just hoped for the best and this is what came out, hehe.
Thanks for reading and reviewing. Have a good night/day/daypart in which you currently dwell!
I love this, I think this a creative way to show Ginny and Harry post-Hogwarts. I honestly at this point only have praise for the story, the characterizations are great and I love seeing Harry, Ginny and the kids interacting with muggles and from a muggle perspective. Just great, can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Next: more Polly; more confusing comments by James, and a barbeque! How very mundane (apart from Polly, of course). -N-
I saw this and thought it could be interesting, since I've actually been starting to feel some tension between James and Sirius recently. I like how it felt like it could be possible, since it didn't change any James/Lily stuff. The point that it started because they were alone so often stuck out to me because I've been toying with the idea myself. While I was thinking maybe just a few kisses, I really liked where you took it. The characterizations were great, and it made me love Sirius even more.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and even better, found it actually possible. I wanted it to fit in with both canon and character and writing this has sort of made me a bit of a James/Sirius person now. I could see it and could see it being very hard and sad for them. Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)
Wow! I found this in the Puff review circle and thought to myself, I always love what Carole writes and I really should try genres other than Marauder. It was worth it! I'm not usually someone who reads trio era because I find that many people have trouble with characterizations and there is a lot less wiggle room, so it is stiff. However, this was not the case with your story. I liked that they were characters everyone recognizes and even had minor roles in the books, but not major enough that you couldn't have some fun with their characters. It was beautifully written. Everything flowed together really well, none of the events of the story seemed out of place or random.
I'm supposed to suggest something to improve on, so the one thing I felt was slightly lacking is the guilt Parvati had about Lavender. The piece you had was really strong, but it seemed like it was dropped rather quickly. However, it did make sense in the timing and because it was a one-shot I understand why the guilt was not brought back up. Overall I really loved this story, and in many ways would have liked this to develop into a chaptered fic because there were so many great things to explore. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I sort of agree with you about the guilt, but in my canon, Lavender has someone else with her (You'll need to read Lavender, blur - A Gryffindor true to find out - hee hee) so doesn't need Parvati at that moment. The girls' relationship and Parvati, Seamus and Deans' relationship is explored even more in a mystery I've just completed called 'The Foolhardy Boys and Parvati, too.' I might write some more about them, but time is my biggest issue.
Thank you again for the review. It's much appreciated. ~Carole~
That was a sweet and simple story. I think you got a lot of the characterizations right, though I actually don't know if Ron would have left his family so easily. They had just lost Fred and they were together for the first time in months. However, despite that one little bit, it was beautiful. I loved the simplicity, and how each returned to their proper place after such a horrible year/event. Well written!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I see your point about Ron, but I was hoping to emphasize that he was a bit sick of his mum's endless hug ;) Anyway, glad you enjoyed and thanks again!