On all other sites (livejournal, fanfiction.net) my penname is monroeslittle :)
Very sweet, good job. We can always use a little more Harry/Ginny romance within the books :)
Another story by you! Bored, I was scanning through the recent stories and when I saw your penname attached to a new story, I was so excited! Wonderful writing, as per usual, and the plot looks as though it's going to be very interesting. I'm already spinning possibilities in my mind, and I can't wait to see what you will write.
Author's Response: Thanks! I hope I can live up to your expectations. It\'s always a warm-fuzzy experience when an author hears that somebody started reading a story because they saw the author\'s name on it, so I thank you for that. :-)
Wow, I was looking for a quick one-shot to read in a few spare minutes, and I certainly found a good one! Any way to show Ginny more in the books is wonderful, and this was very well written. The brief exchanges between Hermione and Ron were very cute and kept the fic in-tune with the book. And of course I loved Ginny's thoughts concerning Harry . . . Ginny always loved Harry :) I hope you do well in the challenge!
When I first started reading this, I thought it would be your sweet but typical story of Harry fighting his feelings over Ginny before finally giving in for one reason or another. However, you certainly threw me off! The idea of Lily and James and everyone watching over him and deciding to intervene is fun, and I can't wait to read more and find out what happens next. Very well written, too.
Author's Response: Hi Maggie, Thanks so much for reading and leaving such a nice review. Coming from an author of your caliber, it\'s much appreciated! My goal was to bring a different slant to Harry\'s conundrum, and I hoped bringing the dearly departed into play would achieve that. Chapter 2, which should be up soon, really gets them involved. Thanks again for the kind words, Jim
I've just read the whole story over at SIYE, and let me tell you what I'm sure you've already heard from other fans -- it was brilliant! Generally I'm not big on fate and destiny, but Ginny and Harry were clearly made for each other (James and Lily too!) and you did a really good job of capturing that.
As I think I told you in my last review, I really like the idea of James, Lily, Sirius and Dumbledore all watching Harry and helping him realize what a git he was being when he broke up with Ginny. It really was a good, original idea. I also liked it when you referred to them as "Harry's three parents and mentor" -- Sirius was really like a third parent to Harry.
And of course, I liked the constant references to the title and how no one stood a chance :) It really tied the story together very well, and made for a tidy ending. Quite simply, I commend you for an excellent job on your first fanfic!
Author's Response: Hi Maggie, As you well know, having been on the receiving end of wonderful reviews so often, I greatly appreciate your very kind words! You picked up what I tried to accomplish with the story, including using the title as a thread that connected the various parts. I also really appreciate you making the effort to find the story. Safe to say, you\'re comments make me feel \"brilliant!\" Much thanks, Jim
That was sweet! There was so little Harry/Ginny romance actually written in the sixth book, so this was a nice addition :) Excellent writing, as well.
Author's Response: Thankyou very much x
Your summary caught my eye and I just had to see if it was worth reading . . . it certainly was! It's a great idea and your write very well; I can't wait to read more and find out what happens and what has happened!
Author's Response: Thanks, it\'s good to know the summary caught your attention, because I usually worry about that the most.
All is not well.
George uses work and Firewhisky to cope with Fred's death until a drink with a friend leads to something that dulls pain better than alcohol. Emotionally torn by grief, he struggles to allow Alicia into his life...and then comes baby....
*Winner of the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Dark/Angsty Story*
really, really liked this chapter. Thanks for letting me know about the update by the way -- I hadn't even known the last chapter was up, and it was a pleasant surprise to find out and get to read them both. I like how you have the dream on Alicia's mind, and use it to show how George is slowly progressing away from it. It makes me smile.
In the last chapter I liked how you resolved the issue with Oliver, and kudos to making the scene tug on my heartstrings, while also adding in Fred's talk of cheese and whine; that was a nice touch :) On a lighter note, I also really liked a lot of the witty one-liners from this chapter, such as "You look so manly, if I wasn't pregnant already, I'd get pregnant tonight." I really liked that!
Great job, and I look forward to another update.
Thank you for coming to read! I'm always paranoid about email alerts, thinking they're not going out. (I'd also rather believe no one knows that a chapter posted than they didn't care....sniff...lol)
Yay for you smiling....you've made me smile from ear to ear with the things you like!
Wow! I never know when this is updated -- but it's always fun to get to read multiple chapters at once! As I've said before, I love how this is progressing. I really like all the romance between George and Alicia -- I myself am not very good at writing fluff for extended periods of time, but I certainly like to read healthy doses of it from others! At the same time, I enjoy that you still have George recovering.
I liked that baby Louis had "pink" hair -- it was funny and a good way to relieve the tension. I can imagine that George is going to be a very good dad ;) I wish I could comment on more, but honestly I liked everything. As I've said before, I think you really have the various characters in-character, which is always important.
Also -- a little Dave Matthews -- always a nice touch! That's my favorite song from them, in fact. Great couple of chapters since I last reviewed; I can't wait to read more!
Thank you for liking romance! Dark and Angst are together, so I hope no one's disappointed to read and discover it's Angst/Romance instead of a Dark!George fic. :D I think mixing fluff in with humor and sadness works best...keeps it from giving readers stomachaches, or putting them into diabetic comas. You can't review if you're in hospital! ;)
George will be a good dad. He just doesn't know it yet.
I'm glad you like the musical touch. Next chapter put John Mayer to mind, and the one after that Santana, and after that, The Cure. Who know, by the time the story's done I might burn a CD and call it the For Bitter or for Worse Soundtrack, LOL.
I don't even know where to start. I've been so busy lately with real life that when I get chances to read some good fanfiction, I want it to truly be good fanfiction -- I certainly wasn't disappointed by this! I wish I'd been a better person and reviewed on every chapter, but I was so eager to get onto to the next chapter that I couldn't stop for a review!
I'll have to say it all now: first off, I love how you portray all the characters. From minor to major, I never think you're out of character. And I think you manage to capture how people in their situations would really act, most especially Fred and Alicia. Second, I really like the mixture of angst and fluff; it's realistic and it makes for a great read! And of course, third, I love how even in death, Fred isn't gone -- having George hear his voice adds something to the story, in addition to being realistic. Whew, I cannot say enough good about this story.
Tackling what George must have felt after Fred's death and how he recovers is a big job, and with this fic you're certainly doing well! I eagerly look forward to more, and I can't wait to see how everything turns out with Oliver and with the baby :)
*hums Matchbox Twenty* I wish the real world would just quit hassling Maggie! :D
Maybe some people wouldn't consider having a deceased twin's memory become the little voice of reason...or something like it....mentally healthy, but when Jo said George never really got over Fred, I thought that was the healthiest way for that to happen!
Thank you for the encouragement, and for reading when you got the chance! :)
Excellent! This is the first fic I've read with a POV of the ending from another character, and it was fantastic. You write very well, and I loved getting to hear from Ginny. Kudos!
That was extremely well written, and had me nearly in tears. I love how you wrote Lily; I can easily picture her that way. Again, wonderful job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\'m glad she was realistic. :)
If I was a better person, I would have reviewed for each chapter as I read. Unfortunately, I was just too eager to keep reading! I'll try and make up for it by giving you a nice long review now. First and foremost, I have to say this is one of the best fanfictions I've read in a long, long time, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don't read fanfiction as much as I used to, but I'm certainly glad that I saw this recommended over in the Hufflepuff forums and decided to give it a go.
You're characterizations of everyone are always spot on; I particularly liked the way you captured Ron and Hermione. I can imagine their house being a refuge for House Elves without trouble, and picturing it in my mind always makes me smile. I also loved Ron's affection for Rosie -- as crazy as Ron is, I'm sure he'd make an excellent father. (Oh, God, I've been so obsessed with Harry Potter for so long I talk about the characters like they're real people! Oh, well.)
I was also very impressed with the way you were able to intertwine a mystery that slowly unfolds and keeps readers on the edge of their seats with a plotline that centers on family, on Harry and Ginny's love for one another and their family. You definitely made their romance exactly as I pictured it. I agree that J.K. Rowing, much as I love her, ought to have put a little something more on Harry and Ginny SOMEWHERE in the seventh book, and this definitely helps make up for it. In my mind, this is canon.
While I'm spewing out this long review, I have to confess that I nearly started crying when Ted was in the Hospital and he and Harry were talking. I loved Remus and Tonks, and I think you managed to do them justice with your portrayal of Ted! The relationship he's formed with the Potters in this story is wonderful; it's no wonder I teared up!
In short, I have nothing but good things to say about this story. I usually like to offer constructive criticism, as I always appreciate it, but I really have nothing to add. This story is phenomenal as is. I didn't see any typos whatsoever, which never fails to impress me (on the rare occasion that it occurs!) Lastly, I have to say that I loved how it ended. Harry swinging Lily around and shouting "I'm Daddy!" in the train station is a perfect moment to picture, and definitely something Harry Potter, after his horrible childhood, deserves to be able to do! :)
Author's Response: Wow! I hardly know how to respond to such a glowing review. But you've definitely made up for a lack of quantity with quality. I hope you'll also read 'Great Expectations' which, though it takes place earlier chronologically, goes into greater depth and also provides the basis of future stories that I have planned. Thank you so very much. I am truly humbled and grateful.
Excellent update! I've never read a Lily/James or Marauder fic that had anything remotely close to the "trails" you have the Marauders holding in this fic and I love it -- you're an extremely creative author, which is always a good thing! It seems very much like the Marauders to do that, and I love that Lily went ahead and sucked it up, streaking across the school as James. I really liked the conversation between Alice and James as well. There are many different ways of falling in love and I think you did a good jobs describing that. The ending was also very good; it was very touching. I think there's so much J.K. Rowling left untold about Sirius's story, so it's always interesting to me what authors come up with concerning it. I loved what you wrote here, and I loved how you lightened it up at the end with Sirius teasing Lily about her crying. Great job, and I look forward to another interesting update! I can't wait to see how you finally have Lily and James get together and how it all plays out :)
Author's Response: Firstly, sorry for taking so long to respond to your review. I used to be so diligent, but life sort of piled up for a while :)
Thanks for all your compliments, they really drove to the heart of what I was aiming for. The trials - I don't know when I thought of them. Originally, it was going to be all about loyalty, but the running naked just popped into my head! The Alice and James conversation, was never intended. In all honesty, when I planned this story, Alice was something very much like a Mary-Sue. But when I really started writing, she took on a life of her own and I wanted to show that to everyone. As for Sirius- that was in my original plan and I wrote it ages ago. Like you said, I think there is so much more to Sirius, just begging to be explored. As for the ending -- it's nearly here... Hopefully you like it :D
I rarely read multichaptered fanfiction anymore, simply because I have very little free time and I more often spend it working on my own stories or reading quick, one-shots. I saw this story recommended on a Lily/James livejournal group that I frequent and it seemed like such a fun idea that I couldn't resist trying it out. I am very, very glad I did. I wish I had been a good enough person to review with each chapter, but I was too desperate to get on to the next chapter. I'll try and make up for that now.
First and foremost, you write very well. You have very good grammar -- something that always bothers me when its poor -- and you have nearly no typos. Your writing also has a great flow to it as well as realism. I can imagine everything you describe happening. As appealing an idea as it is, I can imagine a story about a girl and a boy switching bodies being very hard to tackle. You did it so well, however. Poor James having to put up with PMSing! My brother only just learned that girls go through that every month. His response was, "Oh Maggie, I'm so sorry!" I think you described James's reaction to all of that perfectly.
I also love how you have James so sure of his love for Lily. I can't remember exactly which chapter it was, but when you had James thinking how their children better get his Quidditch skills, I was smiling. I also like how realistic you make his feelings for her, how you describe him trying not to like her and declaring that he's over her only to keep being drawn back in and unable to resist vocalizing his feelings every few months. It makes a lot more sense than stories that have him continuously after her.
Perhaps my favorite part of the story -- or at least a large reason why I like it so much -- is that you show Lily slowly falling in love with him. It's not at all sudden, but the reader can feel it building. I hate it when fanfictions -- and books, too -- just have characters immediately fall in love with one another. Perhaps its because I don't personally believe in love at first sight or maybe it's simply because its fun to read about how love comes to be, but I really do hate it when stories skip that. I like to read about Lily falling in love with James, and you write it perfectly in this story.
It was a real treat to read this, and I can't wait to read more. You haven't really left this chapter on a cliffhanger (something I can't help but always do in my stories), but I'm still dying for me. Great job. Thank you so much for sharing your ideas and your writing skill :)
Author's Response: *Stars at the screen*
*Realises she is not breathing*
*Takes a breath before she passes out*
Sorry about that display, but before I go on, I must tell you how much I love your stories. (Honestly, go and check out my favourite authors list.) Looking back, I must say some of my reviews on your stories were quite fanatical, I have definitely improved my writing! You have been my favourite author since from when I first read 'When Darkness Did Surround Us' and I have emulated you in many aspects of how I write (Many cliff hangers, notes on where I am going next on my authors profile, sneak peaks ect.). So this review has been the highest of compliments to me because I look up to you as an author.
br> Many thanks must go to my Betas for your first comment. Also, recently I started reading the story to my sister and editing as I go. Its amazing what you pick up when you read out loud. Thanks for the complements though! James putting up with PMSing - it was quite fun to write. Boys are so clueless aren't they? The line "A whole week?" actually comes from one of my male friends, when I explained that it isn't just a quick once a month thing. It got me thinking how James would feel...
I'm glad you like the way I've portrayed James. James is often such a flat character in stories, where all he does is ask Lily around and mope. I wanted to show that he has tried to get over her, and that beneath he wants what is best for her, but continually gets drawn back. I think he has so much depth that people so rarely explore (hence why I love Someone to Watch Over Me).
I defiantly agree with you on the instant love thing. Why on earth would Lily suddenly change her mind for no reason? It takes time, and changed situations for old conceptions to break down. I'm glad you like it :)
Thanks so much for the review :) Honestly, it made my day.
Lily is always trying to get away from James. He can never talk to her without getting yelled at or insulted. How much of this can he take before he is over her for good? James' POV
I read fanfiction rarely these days, busy as I am with real life and my own fanfiction, but I thought I'd give this one a chance. Lily and James shippers don't usually do dark/angst (that I've found, anyway) and the idea appealed to me. I'm glad I decided to try it out: it was very, very well done and worth the read!
I liked the way you wrote; it reminded me of Hemingway. It was also so very teenager, with little details that made all the difference. I liked the brief mention of him taking a vial of Sirius's potion, for example, or the way that he proclaims simply that his situation "sucks." He sounds like any other angsty teenager and I loved it, even though I'm a sucker for fluff.
One critisicm: the story switches from present tense to past tense a little ways in. Both would work for the story but consistancy would be helpful. I use to be dreadful about tense, so I'd be happy to look over and offer help on a sequel if you wanted. :)
One thing I really liked was the clear longing that you presented in James. Having a crush on someone, especially when you're his age, and having that crush unrequited is so hard. Every little word and touch and look means something and every rejection is the end of the world and you feel so inadequate every time you see the person you like happy without you. I liked how he also wanted her physically and wasn't a mopey romantic; no teenage boy wouldn't be thinking those things about the girl he fancied. The way he turns all his feelings into anger at the end was also fitting.
Overall, good job. Hopefully things will look up for poor James and Lily will realize what she's missing! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. As for the tenses, I have a total problem with them. I would love it if you looked over the sequel, but it's probably not what you're expecting. It's a chaptered fic and they aren't even together until the very end. It's not going to be a James/Lily story, so you don't have to if you don't want to. Thanks again for your review!