Summary: Gilderoy Lockhart is five years out of school and still a nobody. He's so worthless that even his best friend, who rules the press, can't seem to make a story out of him. A despicable idea comes to mind, one that he's been resisting... but it's foolproof, and he's starved for attention. She wants a story? He'll give her the story of a lifetime. [Light humour, Lockhart/Rita]